BattleAxe First Read: Chapter Sixteen: Two White Donkeys

[pangolin20]

Chapter Fifteen (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Seventeen (Part I)

NRSG: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, Faraday was shown a vision and we had some very strange scenes. Let me see… I do not have any reader post this time, except for Chessy’s improved take on Faraday listening to the tree.

Let me begin at once, then!

 

Chapter Sixteen: Two White Donkeys

Ah yes, the “white donkeys”. If I recall correctly, these will play a large roll later on.

We open on Axis waking up “more refreshed than he [can] remember”. It is now the 30^th of September, by the way. Axis lies in his “sleeping roll” for a while, “too warm and relaxed to move”. Finally, he gets up and dresses. The others are still asleep at this point. He steps out of the chamber and looks at “the rusted iron staircase” that leads to the upper parts of the Keep. An… iron staircase? Why make it from iron? And why made it? Ogden and Veremund when they came in here? That would make sense qua time, but it does not sit right with me… And, well, I do not trust Douglass per se to mean this as foreshadowing, so…

This Is Not How Things Work: 9

Well, Axis eventually looks down and goes down to the ground floor. Ogden and Veremund are there, “arguing quietly but heatedly over a pile of books”. Why are they arguing now, actually? To keep their act as “Brothers”? They certainly did none of this the previous night. To either side of the table are “[s]tuffed saddlebags”. Axis greets them.

Ogden and Veremund are startled, because they had not heard him come down the stairs. For an instant, Axis thinks they will bow, “but the moment passe[s] and both merely incline[] their heads.” Quite arrogant, are you not, Axis? They both greet him, and he asks what they are doing, “puzzled by their preparations for a journey”.

Ogden says they have decided they must come with Axis (lovely). Axis gets annoyed at this: “Not only women but doddery aged brothers as well? This was too much.” So his complaint is that they are old, not that they are very suspicious or anything like that.

All The Isms: 6

Ill Logic: 9

He says there is nothing they can do and the army will be going too fast for them to keep up. So all he needs is the information about “the Forbidden and this so-called Destroyer”. Veremund gets up to his full height, “a good handspan taller than Axis himself, looking both deeply offended and utterly smug at the same time”. Let me see… a handspan is noted to be about 20 centimetres or eight inches. Also, Veremund looks like a good foil to Axis to me.

He says that if they would tell Axis all they knew, it would take a lifetime, and they do not have that time. So it would be better to bring themselves, their knowledge, and a few (here he glares at Ogden) of their “most important books” so they can answer his questions. And what Axis would like to know now might not be what he needs at Gorkenfort. And, of course, they can work a bit of magic, so I can see why they might be useful to have.

Ogden beams at Axis. We get a note that his habit looks filthy and “mould [grows] in some of the deeper creases”. Because he could not be bothered to clear that out?

Ill Logic: 10

Ogden says the time has come for them to leave the Keep, and he is sure that Jayme would agree if he heard of it. Axis says he does not have spare horses, and Ogden says they have “[their] own mounts”, and the more speed, the better. Those mounts will be the titular donkeys, I assume.

Ogden then turns his attention to Veremund, saying they “simply must” take a certain volume, as it has “vital information about the origins of the Avar people and their religious beliefs”. Axis hesitates, annoyed at the assumption of the Brothers that they will be riding along. Then he shakes his head and says that maybe Veremund is right. Who can say what new question he might have “in six weeks’ time”? And if they cannot keep up, he can leave them in Arcen with “Faraday and her mother”. Good to see he apparently did not bother to learn Merlion’s name.

Axis goes outside now. It is still cloudy, but it seems as if it will not rain for a while. He looks down at the “golden lake”, which is perfectly smooth. He frowns and squats at the lake’s edge, and then he “dip[s] his hand in.” So he just put his hand into a magical lake without any prior testing.

Ill Logic: 11

For all he knows, it might be a lake that kills anything that touches it! How is he still alive at this point?! Well, he feels no “sensation of wetness”, and when he pulls his hand out, it is still completely dry. So I take it the surface is an illusion, then?

Axis quickly steps back, “making the sign of the Plough in the air to ward off enchantments”. He says he will be glad to be gone. Well, first this:

Maria Monk Redux: 18

But also, what does “the sign of the Plough” look like? Does Axis sketch an outline of a plough? Come on, Douglass, we cannot infer your worldbuilding for you!

Manage Your Info Better: 13

Cut to the inside of the Keep, where the others have joined the Brothers. Gilbert stands “defiantly” in front of the fire with Ogden and Veremund, who are “both obviously furious”, facing him. Arne stand to the side of them, and Timozel stands well back, wanting to keep out of the argument.

As Axis comes in, Veremund turns, his face “white with fury”. And then we hear it:

“This… this snake was trying to burn down the Keep, BattleAxe!”

IYES: 9 (was that really necessary?)

Maria Monk Redux: 23 (+5)

Well, there we have it. Gilbert, the “religious fanatic”, just tried to burn down the Keep. And, given that he did it when Arne and Timozel were probably just awake, he might well have killed someone.

The problem is… Well, a big problem is, of course, the whole “Gilbert tries to burn the Keep” bit that I have mentioned above. But another problem is that this comes right out of nowhere! For all that Douglass tries to make us accept him as a “fanatic”, he has been quite reasonable. Yes, I could see him trying to keep the Brothers from going along, but not burn the Keep! And what is he doing it for? If they leave, no one will touch the manuscripts, so no one would be able to learn more about the Forbidden!

Ill Logic: 12

It is character derailment, because Douglass apparently could not bear to have him be against the Icarii and Avar and still be reasonable.

FYRP: 46

So, what shall I use… I think I will go with Keep on Track for now.

Keep on Track: 1

Finally, when did this happen? Everyone was sleeping when Axis went downstairs, and I do not get the impression that more than five minutes, at the most, have passed. It might be possible, but it feels ridiculously fast, still.

PPP: 22

Arne steps forward, and says that it is true. He found Gilbert in the upper levels, in a room “choked with musty old books”. He had a “tinderbox” with him and “was trying to lay a fire with some old pages”.

Ogden cries that Gilbert tore up “one of the most exquisite volumes [they] have in the Keep” to make the fire. Okay, I would like to know 1) what exactly was that book, and 2) how have they managed to identify it in the meantime? Did Arne bring a page downstairs? And why do we not see it lying here, then?

I just think Douglass was more concerned with “hitting the mark” rather than making it make sense.

PPP: 23

Well, Ogden steps forward “as if to seize Gilbert”, but Axis quickly puts “a restraining hand” on his shoulder. Then he asks Gilbert if it is true. Gilbert says they both serve the Seneschal, so how can “[Axis] let this cursed Keep and its contents stand”?! Ah yes, that is why we did not hear him complain about this the previous evening at all.

Keep on Track: 2

He says the volumes are “wicked” and they have corrupted the Brothers (at which Veremund snorts), to the point where they “actually admire the Forbidden!” He says their minds are “soft with age”, and they “mumble about prophecies”. “Mumble about prophecies”? They made Axis read an entire prophecy! What are you talking about?

Keep on Track: 3

He finally says that Jayme would be “horrified” if he knew what the Keep really contains. Axis gets angry at this, and says that it is not Gilbert’s place to “destroy what the Seneschal has maintained for a thousand years.”

Hmmm, this might not be entirely the right place for it, but I do want to keep track of all the times Axis gets angry. Once at Jayme, for not getting his own army, another time at having to travel with women, another time at Yr for winding around his legs, his remark when Faraday asked about the Silent Woman Woods, once at Gilbert for not knowing who is in the Woods, once when Ogden refused to open, and once now.

Axis Is Angry: 7 (inspiration taken from Beast Boy Is Angry, made by Dale. I do hope I will not have to create Faraday Is Sad later on…)

Veremund and Ogden look at each other, and they think that it is for the best that “Axis continue to believe that for the time being”. Why? Because they want to do that themselves? But why is it for the best if Axis believes that that is wrong? I do not understand it.

Axis says that if Gilbert goes to Jayme, and Jayme agrees that the Keep should be burned down, then he will happily “light the pyre [himself]”. Ogden winces at that, but keeps still for the rest. But Ogden, what else did you expect? You know that he is the BattleAxe, after all.

Ill Logic: 13

Axis says Gilbert has no right to “destroy the building and its contents by [his] own judgment”, and he asks if he is understood. Never mind that Gilbert should already know all of this. Gilbert gives him a defiant stare, and says that Axis is wrong, but he “must comply with [his] orders”. His “weak body” is no match against Axis’s sword and “that of [his] two henchmen”.

Keep on Track: 4

Maria Monk Redux: 24 (for his general behaviour)

“Henchmen”? Really now? This truly is not Gilbert. Also, it should be “those of your two henchmen”. Timozel and Arne do not share a sword. This is what makes me quite certain that there was very little editing on this book. It is an easy error to make, and an easy one to spot and to correct.

PPP: 24

Gilbert looks at Arne and Timozel, and then back at Axis. He says he will inform Jayme of Axis’s “unreasonable and, might I say, somewhat disturbing companionship” of the Brothers and their books. He says that maybe their behaviour can be excused “by their weak minds”, but Axis seems to ready to listen “to words of the Forbidden [] before those of the Seneschal”. Yes, there we have Gilbert back again.

Axis’s reply… Well, see for yourself:

“I keep an open mind,” Axis snarled, “and I am willing to listen to all who are willing to talk to me.

This is just so hilarious. When has he ever been open-minded in this book so far?

He says that if Gilbert wants to “run squealing to Jayme”, he cannot stop him. But, by Artor, as soon as Gilbert is out of the Woods, he will be on a fresh horse and underway to the Tower of the Seneschal. At this point, Axis releases Ogden and “seize[s] the front of Gilbert’s habit”. Step off, Axis. He says that Gilbert will take a copy of the Prophecy back to Jayme, too, “if [he has] to brand it on [Gilbert’s] forehead.” I hate him so much. I think I should make a count for this, too…

AWSLT (Are We Supposed to Like Them?): 1

It is shorter than constantly reiterating my dislike, I suppose.

Gilbert then “sneer[s] into Axis’ eyes” (how does that work?). He says that he will report everything that he has heard and observed when he gets back to Jayme. Axis looks at him for a bit longer, and then lets Gilbert go, “pushing the Brother back half a step as he [does] so”.

AWSLT: 2

He then turns on Arne, and asks him what he was doing in the upper levels, “his tone still low and dangerous”. Well, maybe he noticed that Gilbert was missing and went searching for him? Like, why is this suspicious? Or are you just looking for a reason to be angry at someone?

AWSLT: 3

Arne says that he heard a noise, and he went to investigate, as he knew that Ogden and Veremund were on the ground floor. The Brothers then look at him “benignly”, because he “[will] do well”. Axis is not satisfied with the explanation Arne gave (why not?!), but he does not want to push him in front of Gilbert. He shift his stare to Timozel “to search for any guilty expression”, and then turns back to Ogden and Veremund. And what if Timozel did look guilty, Axis? What would you do then? Lay into him, too?

AWSLT: 4

He asks them how long it takes before they are ready. One of them answers that they are almost ready, and they only need to pack food and saddle their mounts. Axis “bark[s]” that they should make sure they are, and then he turns back to Arne and Timozel. He explains that Ogden and Veremund are coming along, and we get a note that neither “dare[s] say anything in Axis’ present mood.” I would love to see him be put in his place for once.

AWSLT: 5

He says he is sure they are as eager as him to get out of the Woods, so “breakfast as quickly as you can and then saddle the horses.” They both understand it as “forget breakfast and saddle the horses now!” and rush out.

Axis then pulls out a bench and sits down. He invites Gilbert to sit down and “wait together”. He breaks off a piece of fresh bread that he covers with “some bacon from a dish” (alright). He says that Gilbert had better eat something, as he will have “a hard ride” back to the Tower of the Seneschal if he wants to get there “as quickly as [Axis] think[s he does]”.

Gilbert simply stares at him and keeps standing. Ogden and Veremund pack one extra book, put some remaining food in a “holdall”, and hurry outside.

A scene break, and we are told they are ready “in under half an hour”. Axis “[takes] pity” on Arne and Timozel and gives them some food once they have saddled the horses.

ASWLT: 6

You should have given them that anyway! Who cares if you stay in the Woods a bit longer!

Well, he leaves “a sulking Gilbert” with the others, and then helps Ogden “close the Keep down”. Veremund is saddling their horses behind the Keep. I see a missing comma.

PPP: 25

We zoom in on Ogden pouring water on the fire and spreading the ashes out. Axis says that he must be sad to leave the Keep after so long. Ogden looks at Axis and says that he is. He lies that both he and Veremund “have spent most of [their] lives here”, and they will be sad to leave their books and records, because those “have become friends to [them].” He gestures at the Keep in general while saying this.

Axis moves closer, and softly says that Ogden can understand that he “share[s] some of Gilbert’s sentiments”, can he not? Ah yes, because Gilbert’s opinions are just so extreme.

FYRP: 47

Maria Monk Redux: 25

Ogden nods, “for once speechless”. Axis says he is “the BattleAxe of the Axe-Wielders” (and that phrase never improves), so his duty is to protect the Seneschal and “Achar itself” from threats. He finds it “uncomfortable, to say the least”, to hear Ogden and Veremund talking about the Forbidden as if they are “old friends”. He does not want Ogden’s “rather dubious loyalties” to get in the way of any advice Ogden might give him.

Ogden knows it is an order, and he thinks to himself how strange it is that “this man should appear in the guise of the BattleAxe of the Axe-Wielders”.

So, let me see… Axis doubting Ogden because of his “dubious loyalties” is fine, but Gilbert doing it is not?

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 4

Also, why is Ogden constantly so shocked at Axis’s words? Axis is the BattleAxe! What else would you expect him to say?

FYRP: 48

He calls Axis “My lord” and bows, which Axis narrows his eyes at. Ogden says he understands Axis’s loyalties, and he swears on “all that [he] hold[s] dear” that he will never compromise those. So he will allow Axis to continue to defend Achar and its inhabitants. Good to know. This is apparently an “ambiguous answer”, but Axis believes Ogden means well. He tells Ogden not to call him “my lord”, and stalks away.

Ogden waits in the room for a bit longer. He notes that he and Veremund, “as others” (who could that be?), have “waited for eons for this moment and this man”. “They had sacrificed their lives for it. It was up to them to guide the future.”

Well, I would say that maybe you should not have sacrificed your lives for something so specific. Also, why is it up to you to “guide the future”? Yes, I know you know better than most what is going on, but you are not the only ones who have a stake in what will happen, so you would do well to pay attention to the wishes of others, too.

Ogden then makes “a quick gesture with his hands, his eyes glowing golden for an instant”, and then he turns and walks through “without a backward glance”. So… he just did some magic, though I am not quite sure what it was. My best guess is either that he closed down the Keep in some way, or that he “guided the future”. If it is the latter, I have a sneaking suspicion what this might be…

Anyway, he almost walks into Axis, who “ha[s] stopped dead in amazement at the scene before him.” Gilbert, Arne and Timozel are all sitting on their horses, Timozel holding Belaguez’s reins for Axis. Gilbert looks disdainful, while Arne and Timozel look away from Axis’s face. What a healthy command this is.

Veremund stands next to them, “holding the reins of two fat, long-eared, thoroughly amiable white donkeys.” Ah, there they are! They both have oversized saddles and “large crammed saddlebags”, which are tied to the back of the saddles.

PPP: 26 (“crammed saddlebags”?)

Axis says they cannot expect to keep up riding the donkeys. Ogden stalks past and takes the reins of his donkey from Veremund. He says they will keep up, as they have “impeccable breeding”. He then asks Veremund for help. Time for slapstick.

Ogden puts his foot in the stirrup and grasps the saddle, while Veremund, “his face completely expressionless”, puts his hands “underneath Ogden’s ample posterior”, and heaves so hard that Ogden nearly falls over the other side. “After an anxious moment”, he manages to settle in safely. His hair is a mess and his habit has rucked up, but he seems unperturbed. He triumphantly says that he is as “agile as any youth”, and it was no trouble at all.

And No One Laughed: 9

Axis groans and puts his face in his hands, Timozel “roar[s] with laughter”, and even Arne, “normally not given to humour”, gives a wry smile. Only Gilbert remains totally unamused. Well, I guess I am the Gilbert in this situation, then. How awful.

Axis says that “being no trouble” was no doubt why they were sent to the Keep in the first place: for 39 years, they “have been no trouble at all”. He gets on Belaguez, sees that Veremund has managed to mount (not that we saw that), and then waves the group out. End chapter.

Not too bad this time, though Gilbert was quite derailed. Until next time!

Comments

[chessybell_90]

... How did they afford the iron? It's not exactly cheap stuff using this tech base.

On that note, what's a iron staircase doing in a pseudo-medieval setting? I'll admit I only did a cursory check, but I'm pretty sure medieval staircases used wood-and-stone construction like everything else.

And of course it's rusty, because 'clearly' monasteries are dirty and neglected places. You can really tell how much Douglass knew about monastic orders when she wrote this.

Dirty plates, rusty stairs, and now mouldy clothes - Axis, you should know what a healthy keep looks like! Why isn't this one creepier then the forest outside? At least that's not pretending to be on your side!

God help me, I am actually wondering if Douglass genuinely believes this is what monasteries are like.

... making the sign of the Plough in the air to ward off enchantments...

So, I did note that you've already noticed that this is problematic, but I figure I might as well go into why it's problematic.

To begin with, the sign of the Plough is rather transparently derived from the Sign of the Cross, which is actually a prayer invoking the name of God. As such, this should be a scene of a man calling on his god to defend him from evil. (Which is one of the many reasons Catholics make the Sign of the Cross.)

But instead he's gesturing in the air to 'ward off enchantments' as if the gesture itself is what possesses the power to do that. And that, my friends, is a sin. More specifically, it's a form of the sin of superstition, which in Catholic morality is the belief that merely doing something, like wearing a rabbit's foot, avoiding black cats, or burying a statue of St. Joseph upside down, will 'make' or 'force' something to happen the way you want it to, such as causing good luck, avoiding bad luck, or successfully selling your house.

And of course, if it weren't already bad enough that Douglass has reduced a genuine practice to a crime against God there is also the broader cultural context of the simple fact that Catholics, and these days all faiths, are commonly accused of being superstitious in the sense of believing in ineffective ways of securing outcomes. To be strictly fair, we are probably supposed to view Axis as being superstitious in this sense and I don't think Douglass intended to pervert the Sign of the Cross, but well... Ignorance shouldn't be a defence for this.

... I thought the Keep was made of stone.

Ah! Book-burning, of course. Not like the Church has been repeatedly accused of destroying or suppressing knowledge. Oh right, we have.

Given the state of the place, it probably should be burned as a matter of public health. That said, while Axis is right that Gilbert doesn't have the right to decide to destroy the books, Gilbert also has a good point in that he genuinely believes the books are full of heretical untruths that have caused two respectable Brothers to admire demons.

It has just occurred to me that the tone of this scene is wrong - Axis is angry at Gilbert's disobedience, when he should be aghast that Gilbert tried to burn down a monastery. This should be a horrible, unthinkable thing, and everyone acts like the only problem is that Gilbert doesn't have the authority to order it burned.

Which just goes to show how little business Douglass has discussing religion, let alone Catholicism.

You know, aside from trying to burn the Keep down while there were people in it Gilbert actually comes off rather well, and I particularly like how well he handled Axis' threats after getting caught trying to destroy heretical writings.

Okay, while you can ride donkeys, donkeys can't carry as much weight as a horse can. Those are either very large donkeys, or the poor beasts are going to suffer.

And now for a more realistic take on Gilbert's crisis of faith, which I presume is what's going on because I can't imagine why else he'd jump straight to 'Burn the Books!'.

---

Gilbert retreated to the Keep's chapel, mind unsettled from his recent conversation with the Father-Superior. Instinctively, he looked for the statue of Artor's Blessed Mother, the Queen of Heaven.

The statue depicted her as a titanic queen, robed in the night sky and crowned with the sun. With her left hand she cradled the Holy Infant to her breast and with her right she held a stout rod in a guard position, as if in readiness to defend against unseen dangers. Her face was startlingly alert, focused on whatever might threaten her Son.

Gilbert fell on his knees before the statue, sketching the Sign of the Plough across his breast. "Holy queen of heaven, what am I to do?" he cried. "The Father-Superior says that the Forbidden are not what the Church says they are. That we have wrongly declared that innocent guilty, uprooted wheat alongside tares, and waged an unjust war.

"Holy mother, I can find no fault in him," he said bowing low. "I know he does not seek to deceive me! But how can I believe him over my mother the Church? Please, thou holiest of women, guide me in this that I may come to know the truth. Show me the will of thy Son!

"Artor will it," he finished, breathless and pleading, "Artor will it."

He pushed himself back upright and drew again the Sign of the Plough, mind calming. The Blessed Mother would intercede for him, and he knew Artor would never refuse her requests.

The door to the chapel opened, and in came one of the little oblates - or no, they were merely orphans being cared for weren't they? Yes, the Father-Superior had explained that the cost of fabric was too high to justify dressing the orphans any differently from the Brothers.

"What's that you've got there?" Gilbert asked as the child drew near.

"A frog for Mother," the boy answered, showing off the unfortunate amphibian. "Everyone gets her flowers, but frogs are prettier then flowers so I caught a frog for her."

Gilbert manfully did not laugh at the child's devotion. "I don't think frogs belong in chapels," he said. "There's no ponds for them, and no flies for them to eat."

The boy looked pensive at this. "But it must be so dull getting flowers all the time! Can't I give her one frog?"

"How about this," Gilbert said smiling, "you go show the Blessed Mother the frog you caught for her before taking it back outside where it belongs, and then you go ask the Brothers if you can learn how to draw frogs. Then you can give her all the pretty frogs you want, and none of them will disturb the service by croaking too loudly."

The boy's look of dawning realization was so like that of Gilbert's nephews that he unconsciously reached out to tousle the lad's hair - and yanked his hand back at the feel of a small horn under the boy's hood.

Frightened, the child tripped backwards and landed solidly on his bottom. Gilbert almost wondered which of them had more badly frightened the other.

He knew what Jayme would expect of him, what Axis would expect of him, perhaps what even the child himself was expecting. Cast aside the Forbidden, offer them no shelter...

But had he not asked the Blessed Mother to show him Artor's will? What clearer sign could there be then this, a child of the Forbidden so devoted to the Holy Mother? Placing his trust in the Queen of Heaven, he forced himself to calm. "Peace, child," he extemporized, "I was merely surprised. I am sorry for scaring you."

"The Brothers say we're not to let outsiders know," the boy whispered, almost whimpering.

Gilbert nodded solemnly. "That is very wise of them," he replied, reaching to help the lad up. "So if you do not tell them I scared you I will not tell them I found out about your horns, hmm?"

Thankfully the lad didn't seem to have any other surprises under his habit as Gilbert lifted him to his feet. The child nodded in agreement before holding the frog out to the statue. "Look Mother, I caught a frog for you! It's all over green, except for its belly and..."

Gilbert stood up and exited the chapel while the boy enthusiastically described the little creature, and forced himself to consider the implications of his discovery. The child was obviously innocent, and yet if Silent Woman Keep was known to be harbouring him - Harbouring! As if a child was a rat or a thief! - Jayme would not hesitate to order both it, the Brothers, and the children burned. So he couldn't be allowed to find out, which meant Gilbert would need - would need to -

He was going to have to lie. To Axis, to Arne and Timozel, to Jayme, to all of Achar -

Gilbert felt sick. He reached out and steadied himself against the chapel wall, waiting for his thoughts to clear.

It wasn't really lying, he determined. Not really. It was the Forbidden who he was to report, and hadn't the Blessed Mother shown him the child was not one of the Forbidden? And if he did not trust her then...

He shook his head. Down that road lay madness. He straightened up and continued walking, resolute in his decision to keep silent.

He hoped silence was all the Mother asked of him.

[pangolin20]

On that note, what's a iron staircase doing in a pseudo-medieval setting? I'll admit I only did a cursory check, but I'm pretty sure medieval staircases used wood-and-stone construction like everything else.

NRSG: Yes, I thought that, too. And there is no definite reason for it to be here, either.

Dirty plates, rusty stairs, and now mouldy clothes - Axis, you should know what a healthy keep looks like! Why isn't this one creepier then the forest outside? At least that's not pretending to be on your side!

Indeed he should! These people are so suspicious that I am quite amazed that no one suspects them. And it only makes Axis and co. look bad.

God help me, I am actually wondering if Douglass genuinely believes this is what monasteries are like.

That... might well have been what she thought. And yes, it might have been the 1990's, but it should not be that hard to check.

So, I did note that you've already noticed that this is problematic, but I figure I might as well go into why it's problematic.

Thank you! (This is also one of the reasons I am glad you are reading this)

To begin with, the sign of the Plough is rather transparently derived from the Sign of the Cross,

Yes, I probably ought to have said that out loud.

Thank you for the explanation!

...I thought the Keep was made of stone.

Good point. I do not think that burning the Keep down would go very easily.

Ah! Book-burning, of course. Not like the Church has been repeatedly accused of destroying or suppressing knowledge. Oh right, we have.

I will add that in, too. (At the very least we will soon get other things than continual religion-bashing...)

That said, while Axis is right that Gilbert doesn't have the right to decide to destroy the books, Gilbert also has a good point in that he genuinely believes the books are full of heretical untruths that have caused two respectable Brothers to admire demons.

Indeed! Why is Axis so cool with this? And, of course, it makes his declaration that he has "such an open mind" all the more ridiculous.

This should be a horrible, unthinkable thing, and everyone acts like the only problem is that Gilbert doesn't have the authority to order it burned.

We also have that Axis seems to think that this logically follows from Gilbert's previous behaviour, which it does not. And you are certainly right: they ought to be more shocked than this!

You know, aside from trying to burn the Keep down while there were people in it Gilbert actually comes off rather well, and I particularly like how well he handled Axis' threats after getting caught trying to destroy heretical writings.

Agreed. I would love it if we heard back from Jayme about this because of Gilbert... Maybe we will.

Okay, while you can ride donkeys, donkeys can't carry as much weight as a horse can. Those are either very large donkeys, or the poor beasts are going to suffer.

Ah, but these are magical donkeys!

I love the fic! I love the portrayal of Gilbert, and the Avar child is very cute! Well done!

[chessybell_90]

You're welcome, and thanks!

[wolfgoddess77]

- Ogden and Veremund are startled, because they had not heard him come down the stairs.

You two really suck at maintaining your disguises. How has no one figured you out yet?

- “Not only women but doddery aged brothers as well? This was too much.”

My heart bleeds for you. Drama queen. Seeing as how your travel times defies logic even with women, I don't see why you're still whining.

- We get a note that his habit looks filthy and “mould [grows] in some of the deeper creases”.

...mold typically grows in damp places. Why are you wearing damp clothing? Is the author just trying to make Ogden sound as repulsive as possible?

- Yes, I could see him trying to keep the Brothers from going along, but not burn the Keep! And what is he doing it for?

This would make a lot more sense if it was all a lie. Like they were trying to frame Gilbert to make Axis abandon him, since he's apparently so eeeeevil. I honestly wouldn't put it past them, and it could make for an interesting plotline.

- Veremund and Ogden look at each other, and they think that it is for the best that “Axis continue to believe that for the time being”.

You're kind of undermining your plot here, author. By pointing out that these two are being so shifty, you're just reinforcing that Gilbert is actually in the right here. So which is it? Is he a fanatic who's out of his mind, or is he an innocent who is trying to make people see the truth, but no one will believe him?

- He says that if Gilbert wants to “run squealing to Jayme”, he cannot stop him.

Wasn't he just calmly pointing out that Gilbert should talk to Jayme about this? Now all of a sudden he's snapping and snarling like a rabid dog.

- I hate him so much. I think I should make a count for this, too…

Given how detestable Axis has been so far, I'm surprised that you're not adding retroactive points. He's been vile from his very first appearance.

- Axis “bark[s]” that they should make sure they are,

Go to hell, Axis. You go right to hell. I despise you.

- Ogden and Veremund pack one extra book, put some remaining food in a “holdall”, and hurry outside.

Dafuq is a 'holdall'? I assume it's some kind of bag, but why not just say that?

- Axis “[takes] pity” on Arne and Timozel and gives them some food once they have saddled the horses.

Oh, how generous of you, especially considering you were just stuffing your face with bread and bacon. It would serve you right if they fainted from hunger during the eight hour ride out of the woods because you were an impatient prick and wouldn't let them eat anything. Is this how you treat your men all the time?

- Axis moves closer, and softly says that Ogden can understand that he “share[s] some of Gilbert’s sentiments”, can he not?

So you agree with some of what Gilbert said, and you still essentially flayed him alive in front of everyone. God, you are an awful, awful person.

[pangolin20]

My heart bleeds for you. Drama queen. Seeing as how your travel times defies logic even with women, I don't see why you're still whining.

NRSG: I think he is just looking for an excuse to complain, frankly.

...mold typically grows in damp places. Why are you wearing damp clothing? Is the author just trying to make Ogden sound as repulsive as possible?

I have no idea! If she wants it to be vaguely mysterious who they exactly are, this is not helping, but if she wants to put this in as hints that the brothers are not why they say they are, everyone around them comes across as unreasonably dense.

This would make a lot more sense if it was all a lie. Like they were trying to frame Gilbert to make Axis abandon him, since he's apparently so eeeeevil. I honestly wouldn't put it past them, and it could make for an interesting plotline.

They absolutely would lie about that, but unfortunately, we are too deep in the anti-Catholic sentiment for that.

You're kind of undermining your plot here, author. By pointing out that these two are being so shifty, you're just reinforcing that Gilbert is actually in the right here. So which is it? Is he a fanatic who's out of his mind, or is he an innocent who is trying to make people see the truth, but no one will believe him?

That is a problem that keeps occurring. We constantly see them lying and manipulating... and yet we are supposed to trust them? I guess that she meant for them to be morally grey, but the way she wrote it, it seems as though we are supposed to believe two opposing things...

Wasn't he just calmly pointing out that Gilbert should talk to Jayme about this? Now all of a sudden he's snapping and snarling like a rabid dog.

Ah, but there... he was talking about Jayme, or something? I do not quite know what the difference is.

Given how detestable Axis has been so far, I'm surprised that you're not adding retroactive points. He's been vile from his very first appearance.

It is a headache to go through fifteen chapters' worth of material, so I did not want to do it. Either way, that will probably be corrected in the in-depth commentary that will come eventually.

Dafuq is a 'holdall'? I assume it's some kind of bag, but why not just say that?

Let me see... Yes, that is it, apparently. I was just as lost the first time I read this.

Oh, how generous of you, especially considering you were just stuffing your face with bread and bacon. It would serve you right if they fainted from hunger during the eight hour ride out of the woods because you were an impatient prick and wouldn't let them eat anything. Is this how you treat your men all the time?

Yes, looking back at this, this is quite irresponsible, and I would wish they fainted.

So you agree with some of what Gilbert said, and you still essentially flayed him alive in front of everyone. God, you are an awful, awful person.

Exactly!

[wolfgoddess77]

It is a headache to go through fifteen chapters' worth of material, so I did not want to do it. Either way, that will probably be corrected in the in-depth commentary that will come eventually.

I salute you for having the courage and strength to go through this tripe again, and even more in-depth this time. I think I would probably throw the books in a dark corner and never so much as look in their direction again.

[pangolin20]

NRSG: Thank you! If we wanted to do something as thorough as the commentary on Eragon, it certainly pays to know the context, not to mention that it is a great way to gather feedback from people, and a good way to hone skills. I think this should also prevent the problems that CN, Fumurti and Kerlois have. Preperation pays, folks! Finally, I am quite positive this is the deepest take on the series as of yet... so there is that.

[maegwin_of_hern]

Good, I hate Axis. Sorry, but I'm incapable of writing anything witty or analytical right now. The sense of hating Axis is just too strong.

[pangolin20]

NRSG: That is quite understandable, and if you do want to say something on this eventually, there will always be the closer pass.