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pangolin20Chapter Fifteen (Part I) | Table of Contents | Chapter Sixteen
NRSG: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, Faraday met Jack the pig boy and Ogden and Veremund read the minds of their guests. Before we begin, let me do the reader post:
Chessy points out on the previous part that the description of Gilbert’s mind reminds her of “accusations that Catholics are 'too legalistic', 'torture themselves with casuistry', or otherwise 'distort simple truths'”. Well seen!
Maria Monk Redux: 17
Epistler points out that Douglass uses snakes as an indication for evil (which I did notice, but I was not certain whether it merited a point).
IYES: 8
Finally, Tris has mentioned on part II of chapter 3 that Douglass’s use of hate to show “evil” is quite nonsensical. And that made me think… Let me bring back this bit of the prophecy:
Forgiveness is the thing assured
To save Tencendor’s soul.
Along with the earlier bit about “forgetting the ancient war”, I genuinely get the idea that Douglass’s ideal “solution” would be for the Acharites, the Avar, and the Icarii to forget and forgive and bring back the country that existed before the war. And that is utterly ridiculous.
First, how would it be possible to bring back Tencendor after a thousand years? Second, why would we want that? Tencendor brought forth the Wars of the Axe, after all, and simply remaking Tencendor will only set it up to be destroyed again. Third, why is bringing back a land from the past the solution? Would it not be better if the people who live now would make their own land?
Like, I can see why the author of the Prophecy would write that, but why should our protagonists go along with that?
FYRP: 45 (+3)
Well, with that out of the way, let us go on with this chapter!
Content Warning: Some Gore
When we last left off, Ogden and Veremund were about to read Axis’s mind. He lies in “a deeper and more peaceful sleep than [he’s] had for many months”, and he looks “years younger” than when he is awake. Good for him, I suppose. Ogden “look[s] at Veremund pleadingly” and asks if he might be the one to read Axis’s mind. Veremund says they can both do it, and he demonstrates, by putting Ogden’s hand on Axis’s face with “spread fingers” and putting his own fingers in the gaps between Ogden’s.
Look Away: 9
For a long moment they are still, “their eyes perhaps glowing slightly more golden” (perhaps? You are the author, Douglass! You should know this!), while they look in his mind. Then Veremund whispers, “almost ecstatic”, “yes!” and that he believes it is true. Whatever could they mean? Oh well, let me just say it: Axis is the StarMan (as we could already have guessed from the titles of the books). Well, at least it is not a worse title than his current one…
Veremund know asks if Ogden feels “it”. Ogden nods, and says that the Destroyer seeks him out (which we already could have guessed).
Manage Your Info Better: 9
Gorgrael invades Axis’s dreams and “seeks to create doubt” and to “create hate in his heart”. I would say Axis has enough of the latter already! Also, how are these dreams supposed to do so? Gorgrael did not spur Axis to hate or anything; he only tortured him. That seems more likely to me to inspire fear rather than hate.
Ill Logic: 5
Also, I would like to set up a count for how incompetent the villains are in this book. What should I go for… Let me just take this from Kerlois for the moment:
Why Are They So Evil?: 19 (for each year that Gorgrael has not done more with his powers than give Axis occasional nightmares)
It also just occurred to me that Gorgrael was also eleven years old when Axis first got his nightmares. I can already see him, telling Axis that he is certainly his father… It is almost adorable.
Back to the story, Ogden notices that Axis “has already touched the Sacred Grove!” So that was the place Axis was in a few chapters ago? Not that we know what the Sacred Grove is just yet…
Manage Your Info Better: 10
Veremund says that Axis did so “[a]ll by himself”, and it is a wonder they let him live. They must watch over him, and he says that “fate has him firmly in hand”. This apparently also explains why the Woods let him through: “[t]hey had to”. So why did they let Gilbert pass unscathed, too, when he is supposed to be so extremist? My, it is almost as if he is not all that evil.
They both let go of Axis and sit at his side. One of them says that there is “so much [they] do not know”, and if they can find his father, they “might be able to learn more about the Destroyer”.
Now we cut back to Faraday and Jack, so something will happen at least.
Faraday “pause[s] nervously” in front of a tree. Jack assured her that she did not have the enter the Woods, and that she only had to touch the nearest tree. But now that she is this close, “she wonder[s] if it had been unwise to allow Jack to talk her into this.” It certainly was unwise, Faraday, but I blame Jack for talking you into this. Jack is “grinning happily” (very trustworthy), and Yr has followed them and watches them from a few metres away. She blinks, “her eyes bright blue even in moonlight”, and Jack’s smile becomes even broader. He turns back to Faraday.
I swear that Jack gives serious “slasher villain” energy here, and in most other stories, he would be one. But this is not “most other stories”…
He then says “Lovely lady, let me take your pretty hand.” Stop that, Jack! And especially stop with “lovely lady”, please. Come to think of it… let me put up this, as I have heard this series is quite fixated on beauty and power:
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 2 (one for now, one for the “beautiful page” earlier)
He takes her hand, and she notes his are “rough and work callused, but somehow comforting”. She relaxes slightly, and Jack winks at her. She notes his eyes are “the most unusual shade of green”. She smiles and wonders how she cannot “trust this simple-hearted man”. Yes, this does seem more like mind-control to me the more I look at it.
Jack then says that the trees are “nervous too”. Faraday is startled by this news, and Jack explains it is because there are people with axes, the trees do not like axes, and they do not trust humans. He asks Faraday if she “bear[s] the trees ill-will in [her] heart”.
Hmmm, this does not exactly fit with me… Let me show you Jack’s explanation:
Axes, people bear axes. Trees do not like axes. Trees are afraid of people. They do not trust them.
It is… just too simple language for the concept it is trying to describe. And it does not help that I know Jack is faking this. Come to think of it, did his disguise really need to be “simple” pigboy? There goes All the Isms, then. One point for here, one for the “curly hair” remark earlier, one for Axis thinking Priam is “effeminate” and two for Isend being described as “foppish” and “dandified”.
All the Isms: 5
Faraday says she does not bear the trees ill-will, though she feels “a little silly” about “all this”. Jack tells her to place her hand against the trunk, and he puts her hand on the bark, “covering her small hand with his own roughened one.” I also do not like how Jack… just does this for no good reason. She can do all this perfectly fine herself! In fact, combined with how he constantly calls her “Lady”, it feels like this to me:
No-Wave Feminism: 10
Faraday asks what she is supposed to do, and how she can talk to the tree and ask it a question. Jack answers that she must “talk to it with [her] heart”, not with words. And he also calls her “lovely lady” again.
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 3
He explains (and repeats a fair bit) that she needs to talk with her feelings, and feel what the tree says to her. At this, Faraday decides he is “crazy”. To humour him, she does as he told her, and closes her eyes too, for good measure. and “trie[s] to let a stream of goodwill flow towards the tree”. Just as she is about to step back, her eyes “[fly] open”. She calls out for Jack.
She explains to us that just when she “started to relax suddenly she felt another presence, it was the only way she could explain it.”
PPP: 19 (that sentence is quite badly written)
Faraday can now feel the tree and its emotions in her heart. How interesting! Jack smiles and drops his hand. Faraday presses herself close against the trunk, and she says the tree is “singing to [her]”. At that, Jack’s eyes “fill[] with tears”. All right…
Cut back to the Keep, where Veremund and Ogden somehow notice this. Their eyes “widen[] and glow[] so bright that the entire chamber [is] bathed in golden light” (what is going on here?). Ogden gasps “Dear one” and Veremund grabs his hand. They are both “filled with wonder”.
Cut back to Faraday. So… thank you for that interlude? Faraday whispers again that she can feel the tree singing to her, and also this: “Oh! It sings such a sad song. Oh Jack, it is so sad!” And… it is just too simple? And it does not feel like something Faraday would say? It just feels so… out of place.
Tone Soap: 22
So the tree is singing a sad song. Which is, of course, a perfectly fine concept to use, it is just that… it is framed in such a way as to make it sound very silly. Why do we need Jack the “simple” farm boy? Why is there constant reiteration of what is happening? Why such simple language, like “sad song”? It feels like Douglass is mocking this concept, yet it is played completely straight simultaneously, and it is hard to read.
PPP: 20 (what were you going for here, Douglass?)
Jack then steps in and, because he is an utter jackass, “embrace[s] both tree and Faraday”, so she is effectively trapped there. And of course, she is not allowed to complain about this. Because Faraday has authorial disfavour.
Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 3
Well, the song is “so sad yet so incredibly beautiful” that Faraday is both laughing and crying.
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 4
whispers that the “entire forest” is singing to her. Okay… Then, we get this:
Tears squeezed out of the corners of Yr’s eyes as she watched them. Tree Friend had been found at last. At last.
1) So we have Yr the crying cat. True, in the chapters Scales had me skip (maybe not that good a decision in retrospect, now was it?) we had some hints that Yr was not a usual cat, but not this. And… knowing who she actually is, I do wonder why she has the ability to cry. Why would she care about being able to cry?
2) Of course, this is also very out-of-place here.
Tone Soap: 23
3) Well, good to see that Tree Friend has been found! We have had… a single mention of “Tree Friend” before now, in the scene with Azhure and GoldFeather, so how can we have an idea of what this entails? And we also do not know what her being “Tree Friend” means, either.
Manage Your Info Better: 11
4) And… is she the Tree Friend because she can talk to trees? Is she supposed to be the only Acharite who can do that, then? Because that seems quite nonsensical to me.
5) Finally, just how long have they been searching for Tree Friend? Because without knowing that, this moment just falls flat.
Manage Your Info Better: 12
6) Oh, and this whole bit just feels very off.
Tone Soap: 24
Well, Jack moves back a bit, and he explains that Faraday can ask the tree what she wants to, and “if it can”, the tree will show her “what it can see”. And he also call her “Faraday my lovely lady”. Was it really this hard to keep up the disguise, Jack?!
Ill Logic: 6
Faraday does wonder how Jack knows her name, as she has not mentioned it, but then she thinks about what she wants to ask the tree. See, this is why I suspect mind-control. You know what, there goes another point.
Look Away: 10
She thinks that she wanted to ask about Borneheld, so she does, “asking with her heart, not words”. For an instant, “the song falter[s]”, but then it starts again and Faraday gets a vision! Wow! Then we get this:
But the vision was not beautiful, and Faraday’s face crumpled in despair.
Tone Soap: 25
1) See what I mean by “obsession with beauty”?
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 5
2) This is just so… awfully written. Why is it “not beautiful” in one clause, and “despair” in the other? Just the contrast between the too-simple (for this context) language of “not beautiful” and Faraday going into full-on despair. (It also does not help that I imagine that as her face getting crumpled like a wad of paper.)
PPP: 20
Well, onto the actual vision then. She is in the Chamber of the Moons back in Carlon, where all the tables have been cleared away. The Chamber is empty, “save for several hundred people who [stand] in a circle around its edges.” Their faces are indistinct, and their presence is “unimportant except as witnesses to the tragedy about to unfold”. Thank you for that, Douglass.
She is held by “Jorge, Earl of Avonsdale”. She tries to break free and reaches for the centre of the Chamber, but Jorge is too strong for her. Because of course he is. Of course she is held back by a “strong man”. Okay, I do not have much context yet, but it does irk me. Faraday is crying, “terrified by what she [sees].”
The “Tree Song” (which… is apparently an established term now?) alters and becomes harsher, “and images [begin] to flicker rapidly before her eyes”. And now we have a quite long paragraph with these images, which is just hard to read and also slows down the story, so I am quite certain she would have wanted all short paragraphs.
PPP: 21
Well, let me try to make some sense of this.
- Borneheld “step[s] down from the throne” (so he becomes king.)
- Borneheld and Axis circling with drawn swords, their “faces twisted into snarling masks of rage fed by long-held hatreds”. They are both bleeding and stumbling with weariness. So there is the inevitable duel.
- Everything is red, and then Faraday sees “[a] bloodied sun hanging over a golden field”. Okay…
- “The heat!” Faraday get consumed by “a giant fireball”. (What.)
- Axis and Borneheld dueling.
- Feathers are floating around her.
- Axis and Borneheld dueling.
- “A mother weeping”.
- “A scream, as if of an angered bird of prey”. (Oh, I know exactly where this will go and I do not like it.)
- “Swords, notched with use”. (This would work much better in a visual medium.)
- “A heart, beating uselessly”. (Eek)
- “A golden ring, flying through the air”.
- Faraday dramatically screaming “No!”
- Borneheld lunging at Axis, and forcing him to a knee.
- Strange music, “as if stone were being dragged over stone”.
- Blood everywhere. (At least it is only in the vision, so I can take it, I hope.)
- “Dark Man watching, crying with laughter”. (So now we have a “Dark Man”, too? How… clichéd.)
- Axis, on his knees, his sword flying out of his hand and across the floor.
- Faraday feels as if she is choking on a feather.
- “A woman, beating at prison bars, pleading for release.” (I have no idea.)
- “A darker woman at a table, keeping tally, watching”.
Then we get into something more coherent. Faraday again sees very much blood (ugggh), and panics, trying to find Axis. She twists away, “gagging in horror”. And then… well, let me just show it to get it over with:
He was covered in blood—it dripped from her body, it hung in congealing strings through his hair and beard. He reached out a hand, then a great gout of blood erupted that covered her as well. She could feel it trickling down between her breasts, and when she looked for Axis all she could see was a body lying before her, hacked apart, and a golden and white from, as if a spirit, slowly rising behind it.
The chamber rang with shouted accusations of murder and treachery.
And all the time, the blood.
She could feel it, smell it, taste it.
Drive to madness by the feel of the warm blood running down her body, Faraday began to scream.
Well, I see that we have some more vaguely relevant stuff (the “spirit” rising up), but for the rest… why? And I know my perspective is probably skewed because I cannot stand the sight of blood very much (I know Ormuva would love this, for example), but it just feels so… well, just like the earlier stuff, it feels like it is trying hard to be “mature” (because mature books have gore, right?). So let me re-import the count Gratuitous Grimdark and rename it to… Calm Down, Edgelord (adapted from surgeworks’s Persona 3 spork).
Calm Down, Edgelord: 11
And I guess we also see that either Axis or Borneheld will brutally murder the other (and of course they will because diverging from ~fate~ is not the spirit of this series). Lovely.
Finally, I can truly feel for Faraday here. Getting blood all over you… (shudders) And it must be from Borneheld or Axis, and that makes it all the worse.
Well, Faraday tears herself of the tree and screams her horror, “almost falling in her distress”. Then… Jack grabs her before she can run away “and [holds] her as tightly as he [can], muffling her screams against his chest.”
…I want to hit him. Faraday wants to get away and his response is to prevent her from doing that, and to grab her and pull her close!? There is no good reason for this!
Look Away: 11
From now on, I think I will take Epistler’s lead and just call him “Jackass”. Well, then he glares at the tree and says… “Naughty, naughty tree! You made the lovely lady cry.”
Tone Soap: 26
What is this? How are we supposed to take this seriously? Why is he saying “naughty tree” to a tree? Why is he scolding this tree when the entire Woods showed Faraday the vision? Just… this language is so simple compared to what is happening! Like, this is absurdist comedy! What is this doing in here?!
Ill Logic: 7
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 6
Well, Faraday is “sobbing uncontrollably” (poor Faraday), trying to get out of Jackass’s grip. He “trie[s] ineffectually to pat her back”. Well, maybe you could let her go? He calls her “pretty lady” again, and just stop that!
No-Wave Feminism: 11 (take this point, too)
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 7
He says that sometimes the trees “play tricks”, and they only show bits of the truth, and sometimes they warp it. (Then you should have said so earlier!) And this: Yes they do!” he said, giving the tree another angry glare.
Tone Soap: 27
Faraday now manages to free herself (yay!), and she says it was horrible, and she does not “want that to happen ever.” She backs away, and says this: “I wish you had never brought me here, Jack. Go away!” (Also good to see her have a more logical reaction here!)
Then she runs off, “flying through the night”, clothes whipping around here. Yr “[gives] Jack a reproachful look” and then goes after Faraday.
Jackass watches them disappear, and then turns to the trees. He says this:
“Well, my friends, I don’t know what you showed her, but you scared her almost to death. Perhaps it was for the best. She needs to be awoken. She needs to have reason to fight. But I hope you haven’t frightened her too much… she is your only hope.”
1) First off, this is very out-of-place again. Like… it feels as if Jackass is the narrator of a television show, and he is using the trees as an audience surrogate. Except that he was just involved with Faraday, so that does not fit very well…
Tone Soap: 28
2) So we see that Jackass is not at all the “simply pig boy” he made himself out to be. So… that is why I went off on him like I did.
3) What do you mean, this will give her “reason to fight”? How can she fight? No one explained that to her! Yes, she will probably go to great lengths to keep Axis and Borneheld from killing each other, and I guess that fits with Jackass’s goals, but… just scaring her will not work.
Ill Logic: 8
4) And yes, I guess it might be “for the best”. But there was still no good reason to do it like this!
5) What, Faraday is their “only hope”? There will certainly be more Acharites who care about the forests, so what are they, then? And what about the Avar and the Icarii? Can they not help with the forests, then? What is going on here?
Manage Your Info Better: 12
And that is the end of the chapter. What a mess this was. I hope the next time will be better.
(no subject)
Friday, 31 May 2024 15:07 (UTC)Plus, isn't one of the lines in the prophecy to forget the war? This is just asking for trouble. Bring back the land that started the war--oh, but forget the war! I don't think I've ever seen a stronger case for the warning, "Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it."
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Yeah, yeah, we get it; Axis is so amazing that even otherworldly creatures beg for the privilege to read his mind.
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So either Gorgrael is the evilest evil who ever eviled to be able to generate horrifying nightmares at the age of eleven, or he's just randomly throwing scary things at Axis in the hopes that one of them sticks. Which is actually a really funny mental image.
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This strikes me as a very childish way for a mystical creature to describe something. When you use the phrase "all by themselves", it brings to mind something like a toddler going to the bathroom alone for the first time, and a parent praising them for it.
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I agree. I'm getting strong 'DO NOT WANT' vibes. *shudders*
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All I can think of is that he did this so she wouldn't be able to pull her hand away if she happened to sense that something was wrong.
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If this were a horror novel, this would be when a jagged mouth would open up in the tree trunk to devour Faraday. All I can think of is a pitcher plant, luring insects in with good smells, only these trees use hypnotic singing to draw in their victims.
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Okay, this scene is really starting to make me uncomfortable now. Just...ick, ick, ICK.
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I don't remember if I said this before, so let me say it here. 'Tree Friend' is such a stupid name. It's childish, it's uninspired, and it's just boring.
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...how can trees see/predict the future? I've seen trees used as beings of great wisdom, but that's because they live so long. Their strength comes from their past, not the future.
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How damn big is this room for the presence of several hundred people to still qualify it as being empty?
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So, what, did Borneheld just decide to sit down on the throne and take a breather mid-fight? And Axis just...allowed this? He didn't try to press the attack when he had the upper hand?
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That is not a sound that I would equate with music. Quite the opposite, in fact. Scone scraping against stone is an awful noise.
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If it wasn't obvious before with Borneheld declaring that he and Axis would fight to see who was the better man, now we know for sure that Borneheld is going to die, because I seriously doubt the crowd would be shouting murder and treachery if the king had killed someone.
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Not just in this chapter, either. It's been like this for the last few parts. It's really disconcerting and tears me out of the story. (Not that I was all that deep in it to begin with, but...)
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If you're so disapproving, why didn't you do anything? You're a cat; you have teeth and claws that can actually do a hell of a lot of damage despite your small size! You just sat there and watched while all of this was going on.
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If anything, this actually hurts the story. So Faraday is supposed to be their only hope, but someone had to physically make her go and touch the tree. It would have been more effective if she had done it herself, with no outside prompting. Is it really destiny if someone has to force you into it to get the plot on track?
(no subject)
Friday, 31 May 2024 16:52 (UTC)Plus, isn't one of the lines in the prophecy to forget the war? This is just asking for trouble. Bring back the land that started the war--oh, but forget the war! I don't think I've ever seen a stronger case for the warning, "Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it."
NRSG: As Wayfarer Redemption will show, though the plot about the tensions in Tencendor is cut off with the end of Sinner.
So either Gorgrael is the evilest evil who ever eviled to be able to generate horrifying nightmares at the age of eleven, or he's just randomly throwing scary things at Axis in the hopes that one of them sticks. Which is actually a really funny mental image.
I think it might be the latter, or he was told what might be effective. Either way, he has certainly discovered how to make it stick with Axis, which is more creativity than can be attributed to Axis himself.
All I can think of is that he did this so she wouldn't be able to pull her hand away if she happened to sense that something was wrong.
That would be it, I think.
I don't remember if I said this before, so let me say it here. 'Tree Friend' is such a stupid name. It's childish, it's uninspired, and it's just boring.
It is. I am also peeved that it is not "the Tree Friend", but "Tree Friend". It just does not sound very right to me.
...how can trees see/predict the future? I've seen trees used as beings of great wisdom, but that's because they live so long. Their strength comes from their past, not the future.
I have no idea!
How damn big is this room for the presence of several hundred people to still qualify it as being empty?
Indeed... I did not think the Chamber was quite this large, so I think Douglass forgot about it.
So, what, did Borneheld just decide to sit down on the throne and take a breather mid-fight? And Axis just...allowed this? He didn't try to press the attack when he had the upper hand?
Ah, I think this was rather a quite unfortunate timeskip in the middle of the vision.
That is not a sound that I would equate with music. Quite the opposite, in fact. Scone scraping against stone is an awful noise.
I think that is what Douglass meant... though it still would not qualify as music, exactly.
Not just in this chapter, either. It's been like this for the last few parts. It's really disconcerting and tears me out of the story. (Not that I was all that deep in it to begin with, but...)
Good to see that you found this too! At least it improves soon.
If you're so disapproving, why didn't you do anything? You're a cat; you have teeth and claws that can actually do a hell of a lot of damage despite your small size! You just sat there and watched while all of this was going on.
Furthermore, she can talk and she has known Jack for a very long time! If she did not approve of how he did things, she should have plenty of ways to tell him!
If anything, this actually hurts the story. So Faraday is supposed to be their only hope, but someone had to physically make her go and touch the tree. It would have been more effective if she had done it herself, with no outside prompting. Is it really destiny if someone has to force you into it to get the plot on track?
I find it is not. That is a problem here: for all these people may claim they are following destiny (and try to evade the blame), they need to intervene constantly to make it happen (and are thus responsible for what they do). It makes them look very bad.