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pangolin20Chapter Three (Part III) | Table of Contents | Chapter Four
He could hunt with magic, but oftentimes he walked in places where animals did not travel. Thus when his feet finally left the mountains, he was close to death.
Kerlois: How did he walk in places where animals did not travel? I would think that even the mountains would hold some animals, especially since the Spine does not seem to be a very high mountain range.
Pangolin: So, the implication is “Galbatorix couldn’t eat animals” à “Galbatorix is starving”. Because he couldn’t eat plants or something. Nope, gotta eat meat to get anywhere.
Land of Incompetents: 108
Kerlois: To be fair, I could see it if Galbatorix did not dare eat the local plants because they were poisonous… but if he could use magic to hunt, he could probably also pick out the non-poisonous plants. That is also included in Eragon’s training, so Galbatorix would presumably have had that too.
Pangolin: Couldn’t he also be near death because he was severely wounded, because he might have suffered frostbite on the ice cap, and because he’d got injured while walking through the Spine?
Land of Incompetents: 109
A farmer found him collapsed in the mud and summoned the Riders.
Kerlois: Thank you, farmer!
Pangolin: How did the farmer summon the Riders, exactly? Report it to local authorities, who passed it on to the Riders? I can’t imagine a farmer contacting the Riders directly.
~~~
“Unconscious, he was taken to their holdings, and his body healed.
Pangolin: To which of their holdings? Vroengard or Ilirea? Given that Vroengard was the Rider headquarters, I guess he was taken there.
Kerlois: How did they bring him, then? Did they just tie him to a dragon’s back, without bothering to wake him? That seems very unsafe.
Pangolin: Yeah… Couldn’t they at least have healed him before they took flight???
Look Away: 60
Kerlois: How was “his body healed”? Did healers attend to him, or did the Riders leave him alone, and his body healed on its own? The wording is quite unclear.
PPP: 75
He slept for four days.
Pangolin: I’m quite sure that’s not very good. I also don’t see why this is necessary. I could see it if he should be kept in an induced coma because he was magically poisoned or something (a plot-point that appears in this very book), but that isn’t the case. There’s also no mention of anyone trying to treat him. Did they just… leave him asleep for so long?
Kerlois: I think so. They do not strike me as qualified to heal anyone, at all.
Upon awakening he gave no sign of his fevered mind.
Pangolin: So what? What should he do, then? Brandish a board that says “I’m EVILCRAZYMAD. Please publicly execute me”?
Kerlois: Brom seems to imply that Galbatorix owed it to the Riders to show his “fevered mind”, which he absolutely did not.
Pangolin: Yes. It’s implied here that Galbatorix deliberately hid his mental troubles in order to “trick” the Riders. I’ve got some things to say on that:
-Mental illness does not always manifest in its “strongest form”, so to say. And that’s perfectly fine. No one owes it to anyone to manifest their mental illness(es) in a particular way.
-If Galbatorix were trying to conceal his mental troubles around the Riders, it might just be because he knows the Riders won’t take kindly to him showing it. So the Riders have only themselves to blame for that.
-This plays into the horrible conception that people who use medications or the like to have less trouble with their mental illness(es) are “concealing their real self” and are “tricking” others.
In summary: very bad of you, Paolini. Not that his mental illness representation has gotten any better with time. Fractal Noise is still as awful on that front as Eragon could be.
Bullyay: 3
When he was brought before a council convened to judge him, Galbatorix demanded another dragon.
Pangolin: Again, they shouldn’t be the ones to decide who gets the dragons. And they shouldn’t be judging him!!
Kerlois: It does make sense, though, if they were trying to discredit him. After all, Galbatorix himself was the only one who knew what had happened on the expedition. They might easily have said that he had gone evil and had proposed this expedition to kill his friends. Jarnunvösk could then have been killed in self-defence by one of the other dragons. The Riders could easily judge him, then; they do not seem to care much for legal considerations, considering they brought him in to judge in the first place. And as some people were already stated not to like him, and his friends were dead, there would be less chance of anyone protesting the outcome.
Pangolin: I guess you’re right. And Brom even frames it like it’s a good thing!
This Is Fine: 3
The desperation of the request revealed his dementia, and the council saw him for what he truly was.
Pangolin: Well, refer to what I just said. I’m physically disgusted at this.
Kerlois: How would being desperate in his request even indicate he was mentally ill? I think it would only show that he was severely affected by Jarnunvösk’s loss. But if they went looking for signs of “madness”, they would have interpreted anything that way.
Pangolin: And what even is his “dementia”? From the context, it just seems like a fancier word of saying “madness”. This whole set-up is just horrible and gross.
Bullyay: 8
This Is Fine: 8
Denied his hope, Galbatorix, through the twisted mirror of his madness, came to believe it was the Riders’ fault his dragon had died.
Pangolin: Actual quote from the proceedings: “Anger is a poison. You must purge it from your mind or else it will corrupt your better nature.” Aka: “Don’t be justifiably angry at us, and accept your fate.” Not that it worked.
Kerlois: So the Riders decided to deny him even the chance to see a dragon. Galbatorix had every right to be angry.
Pangolin: Also note “the twisted mirror of his madness”. Surely, no one in their right mind could possibly come to a negative conclusion about the Riders!
Bullyay: 9
Petty Ain’t the Word For You: 42 (Galbatorix in specific is constantly put down because of his supposed “madness”)
Kerlois: How very weird that he came to that conclusion. As pointed out above, it is the only thing that makes sense, and even if that were not the case, they should still have warned Galbatorix about the dangerous mission he was about to go on.
Night after night he brooded on that and formulated a plan to exact revenge.”
Pangolin: Go, go, go!
Kerlois: Revenge might not be the best sentiment to have for someone who would go against the Riders, but still, every effort against them is one.
~~~
Brom’s words dropped to a mesmerizing whisper.
Pangolin: Gotta hand it to him: he does know how to use his voice to fit the story.
~~~
“He found a sympathetic Rider, and there his insidious words took root.
Kerlois: A sympathetic Rider! Someone who thinks the Riders are not uniformly good! Someone who does not hate Galbatorix on sight! It is a miracle!
Pangolin: Of course Galbatorix’s words are “insidious”. He was “mad”, and so he had extremely good persuasion powers.
Bullyay: 10
Kerlois: Also, this story is never mentioned again, which does not do much to make it sound credible.
Evidence, Please: 66
By persistent reasoning and the use of dark secrets learned from a Shade, he inflamed the Rider against their elders.
Pangolin: Oh, look at how eeeevil Galbatorix is! He uses “persistent reasoning” to convince someone! That’s someone who I wouldn’t want to be within a hundred kilometres of!
Kerlois: Again, very telling that “persistent reasoning” is on the same level as “dark, evil secrets”. The Riders sound more and more like a tyranny.
Pangolin: Why would he even need “dark secrets” to convince someone? Because no one could possibly want to listen to him?
Petty Ain’t the Word For You: 43
Kerlois: The question remains where he could have learned those secrets. Before his trip, he would have been around the Riders, and also once he came back. I doubt they would have tolerated a Shade close to their holdings. So the only opportunity would have been during his trip back to the Riders.
Pangolin: Assuming that he did do so, that raises the question of what a Shade was doing to the north of Alagaësia. Because: 1) there don’t seem to be any kind of people to the north of Alagaësia who could have been turned into Shades, and 2) no one ever thinks about the region to the north of Alagaësia, so it seems unlikely that a Shade would have been able to move from Alagaësia to the region north of it.
Kerlois: Indeed. In Brisingr, someone is named who might be this Shade, but that theory also has significant flaws.
Pangolin: So I’m quite certain this is actually propaganda. I mean, “Galbatorix worked with a Shade” is a good way to discredit him quickly, because Shades seem to be exclusively evil.
Evidence, Please: 67
Together they treacherously lured and killed an elder.
Pangolin: They lured and killed an elder… and they did it “treacherously”! I think that’s somewhat redundant.
PPP: 76
Kerlois: Why would they do this anyway? Alright, revenge, but still, why this specific elder? Or did they just pick an elder at random? If they wanted revenge, why not try to take out someone bad, like an abusive teacher? Or someone comparatively powerful?
Pangolin: Also: where was the dragon of this “sympathetic Rider”. I might buy that the dragon had died earlier, but then tell us! And what’s happened to the elder’s dragon, then?
What Dragons?: 8
Kerlois: In Brisingr, it is mentioned that he took the Eldunarí of the dragon of the “first Rider he killed”, which might be the elder.
Pangolin: Mmm. I think I have a theory… But first, this:
Evidence, Please: 68
When the foul deed was done, Galbatorix turned on his ally and slaughtered him without warning.
Pangolin: *whispering* Because he’s craaazy like that…
Bullyay: 11
Kerlois: It still does not make sense. And here are some inconsistensies:
-Domia Abr Wyrda tells us this: “Denied a second dragon, he slew two Riders”, which is consistent with this, but does not give us extra details.
-In Brisingr, we’re told this: “When Galbatorix killed his first Rider, he also stole the heart of the Rider’s dragon.”, which quite clearly indicates that he killed only one Rider.
Continuity Fluidity: 35
Pangolin: It’s quite suspicious that there’s such differing accounts. It’s almost as if those accounts were building off something that wasn’t entirely true…
Evidence, Please: 69
Here’s my theory, by the way: Galbatorix indeed wants revenge, but he recognises that he won’t be able to do anything on his own. He finds a dragon who’s trapped in their Eldunarí, and wants to be rid of their Rider in exchange for helping Galbatorix. Galbatorix agrees and the dragon manages to kill their Rider, which is blamed on Galbatorix. Before everyone finds out, he seeks out a sympathetic Rider and dragon, who get him and the Eldunarí off Vroengard. They quickly go to the northern parts of the Spine, where Galbatorix is trained.
Anyway, on with the propaganda.
The Riders found him, then, with blood dripping from his hands.
Kerlois: Where were Galbatorix and the other Rider that the Riders could find them this easily? If they were planning revenge, they could easily have come up with a better plan than this.
Land of Incompetents: 110
Pangolin: And they didn’t try to subdue or kill him on sight? Nope, don’t believe it.
Evidence, Please: 70
A scream tore from his lips, and he fled into the night.
Pangolin: It was night? Would have been nice to know earlier.
Kerlois: This could be from any number of horror films, given how generic it is.
Evidence, Please: 71
As he was cunning in his madness, they could not find him.
Pangolin: *growls*
Bullyay: 12
Kerlois: How would he have avoided detection, anyway? If he was on Vroengard, he was on an island. The only way to leave there would be via dragon, which the Riders should be able to track. They should have found him within days, at most.
Pangolin: They’ve also got magic! Tracking him down should have been a breeze! And if he was close enough that they could see him, he never should have escaped in the first place.
Evidence, Please: 76
Land of Incompetents: 115
~~~
“For years he hid in wastelands like a hunted animal, always watching for pursuers.
Pangolin: What wastelands?
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 76
Kerlois: Based on something from Inheritance, maybe the northern Spine?
Pangolin: That makes sense. Also, I would like to know what he actually did there.
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 77
His atrocity was not forgotten, but over time searches ceased.
Pangolin: Still don’t believe in the “atrocity”.
Evidence, Please: 77
Kerlois: If they thought he was such a big threat, they should have spent more time looking for him. This will be acknowledged later, and blamed on the “arrogance” the Riders had in their power. It is one of the very few things that the Riders are allowed to be blamed for.
Then through some ill fortune he met a young Rider, Morzan—strong of body, but weak of mind.
Pangolin: “Some ill fortune”. Gee, what could that be? What seems most likely to me is that he and his dragon were thoroughly fed up with their mentor, and, having heard the tales about Galbatorix, decided to seek him out. Just wait until we’ll meet him in Eldest.
Kerlois: I see that once again, there’s no mention of the dragon!
What Dragons?: 9
Pangolin: How should we call him?
Kerlois: Let’s go with Krovogon.
Pangolin: As coined by oblakom.
Anyway, I do hate the “strong of body, weak of mind” part. Like bodily strength should factor in. And the “weak of mind” part… just no.
Bullyay: 13
Kerlois: Just maybe he was more receptive because he had been treated badly by them than because of a “weak mind”.
Galbatorix convinced Morzan to leave a gate unbolted in the citadel Ilirea, which is now called Urû’baen.
Kerlois: A nitpick, but Ilirea and Urû’baen are not just citadels, they’re also cities. It may not be explicitly stated here, but the wording could be clearer.
PPP: 77
Pangolin: How would this work…? If Morzan went out into the “wastelands” to meet Galbatorix, wouldn’t the other Riders be suspicious of him? And hadn’t he and Krovogon left the Riders for good at this point…? Okay, I don’t see that being stated, so I guess this could be true.
Kerlois: Still, they ought to have a better plan than leaving a gate unbolted. There would certainly be extra security measures.
Land of Incompetents: 120
Through this gate Galbatorix entered and stole a dragon hatchling.
Pangolin: Seriously!? There’s twenty ways—
Kerlois: Shoosh. Your turn will be next. This is very inconsistent. Apart from this version, we have these:
-Morzan helped Galbatorix steal another dragon, ~Domia Abr Wyrda
-He stole another dragon—whom he named Shruikan and forced to serve him through certain black spells— ~Eldest
-But before I could, Morzan helped Galbatorix to steal a dragon hatchling, Shruikan, to replace the one Galbatorix had lost, killing the dragon’s original Rider in the process.
-He enslaved the black dragon Shruikan and he convinced thirteen other Riders to follow him. ~Inheritance.
As you can see, the sources agree that Galbatorix stole Shruikan, but the specifics vary badly. In particular, the second-to-last quite introduces the detail that Shruikan had bonded to a Rider, who was killed. This comes from a relatively reliable source. But Brom, who lived back then, and who should have heard of this, does not mention it. And the quote above indicated that Galbatorix was only responsible for killing one Rider until the Fall, which is not quite consistent with this.
This evidence is still not conclusive, though, so here is something better:
A red dragon floated above them, glowing and sparkling in the sunbeam like a bed of blood-red coals. His wing membranes were the color of wine held before a lantern. His claws and teeth and the spikes along his spine were white as snow. In his vermilion eyes there gleamed a terrible glee. On his back was fixed a saddle, and in that saddle sat a man garbed in polished steel armor and armed with a hand-and-a-half sword.
Bright as a flaming sun, the dragon hung before Eragon and everyone clustered along the Crags of Tel’naeír, buffeting them with gusts from its mighty wings. The dragon’s body appeared to be on fire as the brilliant dawn illuminated its golden scales and sprayed the ground and trees with dazzling chips of light. It was far larger than Saphira, large enough to be several hundred years old, and proportionally thicker in its neck, limbs, and tail. Upon its back sat the Rider, robes startling white against the brilliance of the scales.
She returned to examining herself in the lake. The water and her scales reflected off each
other in a dazzling array of rainbow-hued flecks.
High in the eastern sky, he saw a wink of green fire, like an emerald glimmering in the sun. The point of light arced through the blue mantle of the heavens, approaching at a rapid pace, bright as a star at night.
All of these dragons are bonded to Riders.
Here’s Shruikan:
His scales had not the radiance of Saphira’s or Thorn’s but rather sparkled with a dark, liquid brilliance. Their inky color made them almost opaque, which gave them an appearance of strength and solidity that Eragon had not seen in a dragon’s scales before; it was as if Shruikan were plated with stone or metal, not gems.
Eragon specifically notes this. Based on Shruikan’s different scales, and on the fact that sparkling scales would be quite inconvenient for wild-living dragons, I conclude that Shruikan is actually a wild dragon. That means that this claim is very likely false.
Evidence, Please: 78
Pangolin: Yes! And building off my earlier theory, it would make more sense if Galbatorix had been assigned care of Shruikan by the wild dragons. Stealing a dragon also seems kind of… OOC for him. I could see him do it just after he’d lost Jarnunvösk, but after all those years… I mean, if he didn’t attempt to steal one on Vroengard, why would he do so now?
Kerlois: It also makes very little sense in terms of the story. Why would the Riders have let Galbatorix, someone who they were actively searching for, just come in? Alright, he might have used magic to conceal himself, but they should have wards in case that would happen. The idea of Galbatorix just walking in and taking a hatchling is inconceivable to me.
Evidence, Please: 88
Straight From Left Field: 14
~~~
“He and his new disciple hid themselves in an evil place where the Riders dared not venture.
Pangolin: Pfft. “Disciple”.
Kerlois: What would this “evil place” be, then? And where could it be?
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 78
Pangolin: And why didn’t the Riders venture in there? Shouldn’t they be able to go nearly anywhere, given how many people they had? And how does Brom know any of this???
Evidence, Please: 89
There Morzan entered into a dark apprenticeship, learning secrets and forbidden magic that should never have been revealed.
Pangolin: I love how generic “secrets” and “forbidden magic” are grouped together. Clearly, they’re both in the same tier of awfulness.
Kerlois: And what is this “forbidden magic”, anyway? The magic that allows people to make Shades? Magic for necromancy? Magic to call down eldritch beings?
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 79
Pangolin: This vagueness actively hurts his story. It sure sounds bad, but if I don’t know what kind of magic Morzan was taught, I can’t picture what’s happening.
When his instruction was finished and Galbatorix’s black dragon, Shruikan, was fully grown, Galbatorix revealed himself to the world, with Morzan at his side.
Pangolin: Because of course the eeeeevil dragon is black.
Kerlois: In what way was Shruikan “fully grown”? It is said later that dragons do not stop growing, so it seems unlikely that that is meant. Maybe Shruikan had reached adulthood?
Pangolin: Seems likely, but that should have been said instead.
PPP: 78
Kerlois: And there is no mention of Krovogon.
What Dragons?: 10
Together they fought any Rider they met.
Kerlois: No, they did not. The chronology we will get in later books is as follows:
-First, Galbatorix, along with other people, attacks Ilirea, and takes it over. Before this point, Galbatorix, Shruikan, Morzan, and Krovogon were not out in the open.
-A month passes. I base this on the following part:
One of the Forsworn had slain Thuviel’s dragon a month before. ~Inheritance, Chapter 56, “Lacuna, Part the Second”
Thuviel during the final battle on Vroengard, and the most likely time for his dragon to have been killed is in Urû’baen.
-Galbatorix, Shruikan, and their followers attack Vroengard, and the Riders fall before them.
Nowhere do I see Galbatorix and Morzan picking off individual Riders. And nowhere do I see them have the time to do much of that.
Continuity Fluidity: 45
Evidence, Please: 90
Pangolin: Also, what kind of strategy is that? Fighting every Rider they meet is an excellent way to expend much more time than necessary while achieving little. They don’t need to kill every single Rider in order to win, and even if they did want to, they’d achieve much more by blowing up Ilirea or Vroengard.
Kerlois: This mentality will show up often later on.
Pangolin: And it also seems like a prime way to get caught. The Riders would be able to find them quite quickly if they were killing people this prominently, and I doubt the four of them would be able to withstand the combined might of hundreds of Riders. Even if that didn’t happen, they’d still be at risk of getting killed by the Riders or dragons they were attacking.
Land of Incompetents: 130
Kerlois: Speaking of dragons, they are not mentioned here. I would expect the dragons to be harder to kill, and I would also expect them to react in some way to the death of their Riders.
What Dragons?: 11
With each kill their strength grew.
Pangolin: Gee, how could that be?
Kerlois: This could be nice foreshadowing of the Eldunarya, but I do not know if it was intentional.
Pangolin: It does make sense. When they attacked Ilirea, they would have gained possession of lots of Eldunarya, and they could have taken more Eldunarya from the Riders who were there, because, as we’ll learn in Brisingr, Riders often had lots of Eldunarya with them. And some of those would have supported them, I’m sure. I still don’t believe they were killing Riders, though.
Continuity Fluidity: 50
Evidence, Please: 95
Twelve of the Riders joined Galbatorix out of desire for power and revenge against perceived wrongs.
Pangolin: They joined before Galbatorix was out in the open.
Continuity Fluidity: 55
Evidence, Please: 100
Kerlois: Also, “perceived wrongs”? So being abducted and forced to mentally bond with someone is not wrong? Being ostracised and treated badly because of mental health problems is not wrong? Trying to wipe out an entire species is not wrong?
Pangolin: *sweetly* But Kerlois, it’s just ~a matter of perspective~.
Kerlois: But one perspective is more dangerous and can justify more harm than the other, and that is the Riders’.
Pangolin: *seriously again* I think we should come up with names for these twelve people and their dragons. In canon we have Morzan, Enduriel, Kialandí, Formora and Glaerun as names. Where did I have that list again…? Ah, here you go:
Morzan/Krovogon
Enduriel/Thelhá
Formora/Gireld
Kialandí/Hismo
Karl/Melia
Caroth/Athna
Iglés/Orlandga
Margreta/Kife
Elrisa/Liselotte
Álmath/Rolost
Lëhar/Darkí
Glaerun/Cesjarki
These are the names I’ve thought up to fill them out. On the left are Riders, on the right are dragons.
Kerlois: Nicely done, and good to keep on hand. I do notice that in the line above, there is no mention of any of these dragons.
What Dragons?: 12
You will also need a list of dragon names for after the Fall.
Pangolin: I’ll provide that one in time. And also this, for the “perceived wrongs” bit:
Evidence, Please: 101
Those twelve, with Morzan, became the Thirteen Forsworn.
Pangolin: Awwww, not even the “Thirteen Forsaken”!
Kerlois: How are they “Forsworn”, exactly. I do not think we ever hear of the Riders having to swear an oath when they are accepted.
Pangolin: Also, way to be obvious that they’re eeeevil, Paolini. There’s thirteen of them, and because that’s an “unlucky number”, that’s a sign they’re evil. Talk about heavy-handed symbolism.
The Riders were unprepared and fell beneath the onslaught.
Pangolin: I don’t think they were exactly “unprepared”; according to the timeline above, they had a month to prepare after the initial attack, and given how large their force was, and the experience that they had, they should have won, logically. They only fell because they blew themselves up. Literally.
Kerlois: It still was for the best that they fell.
The elves, too, fought bitterly against Galbatorix, but they were overthrown and forced to flee to their secret places, from whence they come no more.
Pangolin: How sad. When we meet them, they don’t seem to be that affected, though.
Kerlois: A slight nitpick: I do not like how “Galbatorix” is often used to refer to “Galbatorix and his allies”. Galbatorix did not overthrow the Riders all on his own. The Forsworn made their own decisions, and their dragons did too.
~~~
“Only Vrael, leader of the Riders, could resist Galbatorix and the Forsworn.
Kerlois: Not that there is any explanation as to why he could withstand them when the other Riders and dragons could not.
Pangolin: Especially since Umaroth (Vrael was his Rider) experienced body death during this. It seems very unlikely to me that Vrael would be unaffected by that.
Evidence, Please: 102
Kerlois: Speaking of Umaroth, he is not mentioned at all in Brom’s story.
What Dragons?: 13
Ancient and wise, he struggled to save what he could and keep the remaining dragons from falling to his enemies.
Pangolin: “Ancient and wise”, suuure. Okay, he’s certainly ancient; he would have to be over seven hundred years old. But wise? Don’t think so.
Kerlois: And why would Vrael be the only one to try to save the Riders? And never mind that in Inheritance, several other people are said to have worked on this, too.
Continuity Fluidity: 56
Evidence, Please: 103
Pangolin: Also, “keep the remaining dragons from falling to his enemies”… we’ll get to that in Inheritance, but given that they blew themselves up, it really looks like it means “murdered the remaining dragons out of spite”.
In the last battle, before the gates of Dorú Areaba, Vrael defeated Galbatorix, but hesitated with the final blow.
Kerlois: A minor note: the form “Dorú Areaba” occurs 6 times in this series, exclusively in Eragon. The form “Doru Araeba” occurs 23 times, including when the story is set there. I think this should have been edited.
Pangolin: Yep, if it occurs that more often, “Doru Araeba” would be the correct form.
PPP: 80 (one point for here, one for the map)
Kerlois: If Vrael defeated Galbatorix, why did he hesitate? I would think Galbatorix was to great a threat to let live.
Pangolin: Probably because Vrael is supposed to be “kind and wise”, and so he would hesitate to kill someone who’s already defeated. Not that I believe that at all, given that he agreed to a plan involving an atomic suicide bomber.
Kerlois: What would even be the point of killing Galbatorix? It would likely get him killed by Shruikan and/or the Forsworn. If he wanted to preserve something of the Riders, he could better have taken some dragon eggs and fled.
Land of Incompetents: 135
Galbatorix seized the moment and smote him in the side.
Pangolin: Go, go, go, Galbatorix!
Grievously wounded, Vrael fled to Utgard Mountain, where he hoped to gather strength.
Kerlois: How? How did he flee? The only ways he could go to Utgard from Vroengard in a timely way would be flying on a dragon, or teleporting there. The latter can be partially excluded; teleporting using the ancient language, which we can assume is the kind of magic Vrael used, destroys its environment, as we saw in the first chapter, and when Utgard is visited in Inheritance, there is no sign of destruction.
Pangolin: I don’t see any of the dragons of the Forsworn giving him a lift. The other dragons at Vroengard were probably killed by the blast, and the books are clear that none of them were seen after this point. So the only thing I can come up with is that Vrael was somehow teleported by someone who didn’t make use of the ancient language. The best candidates for that would be dragons, who will later be shown to be capable of that. My best guess is that either the Rider dragons decided to teleport Vrael to safety, or that Umaroth did this to get rid of him.
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 80
The Story Behind the Story: 5
But it was not to be, for Galbatorix found him.
Pangolin: Again, how? Did Galbatorix manage to scry him? That is pretty much the only way I could think of.
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 81
As they fought, Galbatorix kicked Vrael in the fork of his legs.
Kerlois: For a certain definition of fighting; Vrael was severely wounded, after all.
Pangolin: *bursts out laughing at “fork of his legs”* That’s seriously the silliest way to describe it. I doubt we really need such euphemisms; it’s just very silly and distracting. It would have been better to say “Galbatorix kicked Vrael in the groin”. Though that’s becoming a word I can’t read normally, like “nibble”.
With that underhanded blow, he gained dominance over Vrael and removed his head with a blazing sword.
Pangolin: Well, he won’t be back any time soon.
Kerlois: Why did Galbatorix use a “blazing sword”? For the effect? Also, Shruikan was not mentioned when Brom told that Galbatorix came to Utgard.
What Dragons?: 14
Pangolin: Well, Eragon lights his own blazing sword on fire just for effect, so I guess?
~~~
“Then as power rushed through his veins, Galbatorix anointed himself king over all Alagaësia.
Pangolin: Wouldn’t the more symbolic take-over be when he took the crown of the Broddrings from King Angrenost? He might have anointed himself king, but only Shruikan would know.
Land of Incompetents: 136
Kerlois: I do like the mention of “power” running through him, even though there is no source it could come from.
Evidence, Please: 104
~~~
“And from that day, he has ruled us.”
Pangolin: No explanation for how he established his rule, nor will we get one later.
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 91
Kerlois: Oh, how terrible. I can just feel the despair. At least the story is over.
Pangolin: And it was just so great. Half of the claims are invalidated later, and parts are pure propaganda. The structure is also off; there’s too much focus on Galbatorix losing Jarnunvösk, being denied a second dragon, and planning revenge, and too little on the actual Fall.
Kerlois: Not to mention the anti-mental illness stuff, the complete lack of focus on the dragons, and the general lack of cohesion and logic. The story does get the point across, but it could have done so in much better ways.
~~~
With the completion of the story, Brom shuffled away with the troubadours. Eragon thought he saw a tear shining on his cheek. People murmured quietly to each other as they departed.
Continuity Fluidity: 57
Pangolin: This might have more impact if we knew more of Brom’s involvement in this.
Garrow said to Eragon and Roran, “Consider yourselves fortunate. I have heard this tale only twice in my life. If the Empire knew that Brom had recited it, he would not live to see a new month.”
Pangolin: I still think “recite” isn’t the right word to use.
Kerlois: This assertion is completely ridiculous. After all, the traders from earlier were pro-Empire. If the Empire were that strict, Brom would be killed within the month. But he is not. In fact, he never suffers negative consequences for telling this story.
Evidence, Please: 105
Pangolin: Maybe the Empire isn’t as eeeevil as it’s made out to be? And why would they kill him for telling this story, anyway? Because he might have told propaganda to some people in a small village? The Empire has more important things to care about. (Like counterfeiting.)
Land of Incompetents: 137
End chapter, mercifully.
This part was more necessary. The discussion with the traders helped to introduce the Varden, and Brom’s story helped with the worldbuilding. It still wasn’t good, though.
As for the chapter ending, I would classify it as “other ending”.
Next time, Saphira will finally hatch!
See you then!
Kerlois: And see me in chapter Five.
Content:
A Better Commando Name: 2
Bullyay: 13
-----Murdered by the Convocation: 4
-----Perfection is Pure: 3
CARS (Clumsy Attempt at Racism Subplot): 0
Hell-Bound Partners: 0
Just Drink the Poison: 0
Land of Incompetents: 137
Look Away: 60
No-Wave Feminism: 28
Petty Ain’t the Word For You: 43
RVMP (Racism Very Much Present): 25
Some Parent You Are: 0
Some Teacher You Are: 0
Straight From Left Field: 14
That’s Not How Any of This Works: 21
The Perfect Sparkly Ways of Elfdom: 0
The Story Behind the Story: 5
This Is Fine: 8
What Dragons?: 14
Writing/Style:
Dead Herrings: 41 (25 already!)
Drop It Like It’s Hot: 2
Evidence, Please: 105
Forgot the Narrator: 6
Just Gonna Stand There: 2
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 91
PPP: 80
-----Continuity Fluidity: 57
Reaction, Please: 12
Shine Bright Like A Diamond: 3
Cliffhanger Chop: 0
Mid-Scene Break: 0
Other Ending: 2
Protagonist Unconsciousness: 2