Eragon: Chapter Twelve: Deathwatch (Part II)

[pangolin20]

Chapter Twelve (Part I) | Chapter Twelve (Part III)

Corneille Noire: Welcome back to Eragon, everyone! Last time, Eragon woke up, and we had some downtime. Now for the reader post.

 

On the first part of this chapter, Epistler notices the following (paraphrased):

-Why are the people in the vision wearing cowls? The best reason I can come up with is that Paolini did not want us to recognise who they were. Only I very much doubt Eragon would recognise either of them, and we can still guess they are elves from the “proud horses”, so this is quite unnecessary.

PPP: 441

-Eragon having a fever means his leg injuries were infected. That is entirely true, and I have indeed missed that. This does make the idea of outside interference even more plausible.

-The Knopf edition has Eragon drink boiling tea, and he should have burned himself. I forgot to mention that last chapter, but the self-published edition notes that Gertrude lets the tea cool before giving it to Eragon, and the Knopf edition removes that mention.

PPP: 442

Another case of the revision making things worse, it seems.

While talking to her, I thought about two further issues: 1) where is Brom, and 2) why does Brom not try to heal Garrow? So I will be explaining these points first before going on with the chapter (of course).

Where is Brom?

I frankly have no idea. We know that he met Eragon on the road, and after that he must have pulled Eragon and Garrow the rest of the way to Carvahall. I assume that he told some of the villagers about what had happened, given that they sent a party out to the farm. After that, though, I have no idea. We will be seeing him again in two chapters, when it will be the 22^nd of December, but that leaves 2.5 days with no idea of his whereabouts.

The self-published edition is just as confusing. If we take Eragon’s narration as accurate, that means that Brom went to see Eragon during this time (which Gertrude let him do for some reason?). So, if he could see Eragon then, why could he not show up in this chapter? Why does he actually not show up in either edition? Does he not want to see if Eragon has recovered? What is going on here??

Missing Puzzle Pieces: 200 (+2) (for Brom being gone, and him not visiting Eragon for some reason)

Some Father You Are: 34 (Can he not even be bothered to visit his own son, to see if he is doing well?)

Another thing from the self-published edition is that Eragon saw that Brom had a bandage for his head wound, which probably came from Gertrude. So why does she not mention having treated Brom in this chapter? And why does no one aside from Eragon mention Brom in this entire chapter??

PPP: 447 (+5) (For how bizarre the entire set-up is)

Why Are We Doing This?: 63 (+10) (For both this, and the way Gertrude has placed Eragon and Garrow)

I frankly get the idea that Paolini forgot about Brom this chapter.

Why does Brom not try to heal Garrow?

For context, we will soon find out that Brom can work some magic. So why does he not try to heal Garrow with magic? Yes, he cannot do much magic, but even a little bit of healing might be enough to keep Garrow alive, and he is not exactly pressed for time. The only reason I can think of is that he does not want to be caught doing magic. Only, the Ra’zac have already been here, so this does not exactly put Carvahall in more danger.

Look Away: 353 (+5) (for not even attempting to heal Garrow)

I have the feeling Paolini simply did not think of this at all, which might explain why I have not seen anyone bring this up yet. The book simply does not consider it, after all.

 

Well, on to the actual chapter, then.

 

Last time, Eragon fell asleep. Now, we have a timeskip, and we open on Eragon dreaming. He is in an “endless labyrinth”, where he is hunted by “[a] dark phantasm”, which runs with “quiet, pattering footsteps.” Hmm, that is quite tame, I would say. Why not a dream about the Ra’zac? Also, how can Eragon, inside of his dream, know it is a phantasm? And if he can, why does he not try to change the dream?

Regardless, he can never escape the phantasm, and it never gets closer, but it is always there. The few times he can escape to more pleasant areas, “gleaming eyes fill[] the shadows”, and he can hear them whisper, “You can’t stay here forever. Eventually you will have to face us. And then you will die.” Spooooky.

Yes, this nightmare falls a little short for me, partly because we do not get to see what this nightmare is actually like, and partly because I have no idea why Eragon would dream about a labyrinth. It has been rightly cut.

Eragon is miserable, but keeps sleeping, “too weary to wake” (not that we had much indication of that before now). The “bed [shakes]” as he tosses, and twists the blankets. Um, if the bed shakes when he tosses around, I do not think it is safe to sleep in. Good to see another of Paolini’s non sequiturs…

He is trapped in his nightmare until “a loud noise” wakes him. He opens his eyes and sees Gertrude. She says she did not mean to wake him up, only the wind “caught the door and tore it right out of [her] hand.” She “set[s]” a bundle of clothing on the bed and spreads it out. I think that should be “laid”, as “set” is usually used for solid objects, and a bundle of clothing is not. If you think differently on this, please correct me, though.

Eragon notices that they are his. Gertrude says “cheerfully” that she washed and mended them yesterday, and they had been drying in the meanwhile. I hope that was somewhere inside of the house, or else in an enclosed area, because otherwise they would probably freeze, which would not exactly help.

Eragon says she did “a wonderful job”, while he fingers his shirt. So she managed to get all the blood out and stitch the halves back together? That is quite impressive. He shakes off his nightmare and “let[s] it fade from memory.” He then talks about how his stomach burns, and it feels like his “innards [have] disappeared, leaving only a void that need[s] to be filled.” Ah, I assume that he is hungry? The prose is very unclear here.

Then we get this: “Gertrude clucked her tongue in disapproval of his praise, but she smiled.” Um, why does Gertrude disapprove of this? Why is it wrong for him to praise her for mending his shirt, that was soaked in blood, and torn in half? Oh, maybe she is not sincere in her disapproval. But then, he should have said “mock disapproval”, because I think Eragon would be able to see that.

She says it gave her something to do, as patients “can be boring when they only snore”. Then she looks pained, and says she has had much practice “getting out blood.” I… think she means that she has had much practice removing blood from clothing, but it is not clear to me. She says enough of that, and asks Eragon if he wants to eat something. This is Eragon’s reaction:

“Very much so!” he said, nodding emphatically.

*shaking head* I just cannot take this seriously. If Eragon had said something like “Yes, I’m starving!”, I would not mind, but this is just comically overblown. On the whole, this entire section comes across more as absurdist comedy than as anything serious to me, considering all the weird things I have noticed until now.

Gertrude smiles again, and tells him to wait a few minutes. She quickly makes “a large meal of meat, potatoes, and fresh bread.” Ah yes, potatoes. Not that I exactly mind this, because Alagaësia is based on North America, after all. Eragon asks how Garrow is. At that, Gertrude stiffened and she takes “a quick breath”. She says he has not become worse, and Eragon thinks that that means he has not become any better. Yes, thank you, Paolini.

The food is soon ready, and Eragon eats it all, “making up for his lost meals with extra helpings.” When he has eaten everything and licked clean his dishes, he asks if he can visit Garrow.

And here we rejoin the Knopf edition. That one goes from Eragon taking a sip from the soup to him asking if he can visit Garrow. Well, I would say that this portion was rightfully deleted, though I can see some problems because of it being outright deleted.

Back to the self-published edition, Gertrude shakes her head, and he quickly says that “[n]othing’s really wrong with him now that [he’s] eaten”. Except that you still have massive wounds on your legs, but whatever. He says that he will not faint from hunger, and his legs are “safely bandaged”, so why should he not see Garrow?

In both editions, she says he is “a determined one”. Gertrude, this might well be the last time he can see Garrow alive. Is it so unreasonable for Eragon to want to see him, then? Can you not bring up a little more sympathy? Also, Eragon can stay there, and then you do not have to go back and forth between the two houses constantly. Would that not be a good thing?

Ill Logic: 138

She says that she will not stop him if he “really want[s] to”, and if he puts on his clothes, they can go. In the self-published edition, he thanks her, at which she shrugs. In both editions, she turns her back on him as he puts on this clothes. He first does his pants, “wincing as they drag[] over the bandages”, and then puts on his shirt. Gertrude helps him stand, and he notes his legs are weak, but they do not hurt.

She tells him to take a few steps, and when he can, says, “At least you won’t have to crawl there.” Hmm, this does not exactly fit with how she acted earlier on, and I cannot see a reason for that.

PPP: 443

The self-published edition notes that she guides him to the door, and tells him to put his coat on, because it is “cold out”.

Outside, “a blustery wind” blows smoke from the other buildings into their faces. The valley is covered in storm clouds that hide the Spine from view. A curtain of snow hides the foothills and comes toward the village. Ideal conditions for going outside, in other words. Eragon proves to be less strong than he thought, so he has to lean on Gertrude while they walk through Carvahall.

Then we get a description of Horst’s house. It has two stories, and he has built it on a hill, so “he [can] enjoy a view of the mountains.” I thought the Carvahallians did not like the Spine? Then again, Horst does not seem to dislike it quite as much as the others, and he also spent a fair bit of time outside of the valley, so that makes sense.

We are told Horst has “lavished all his skill” on the house. It has a “shale roof” that shadows a “railed balcony” that “extend[s] from a tall window on the second floor”. This is… quite clumsily written.

First, I am very certain that the roof is made of slate rather than “shale”.

PPP: 444

I am also not certain why the roof “shadows” the balcony; why bother to extend it so far? Also, if the balcony extends from a window, it is completely useless, unless the window can open, but that is not said.

PPP: 445

Let me fix this:

The house has a slate roof, and a railed balcony extended from a sliding window on the second floor.

That is better.

The self-published edition notes that the chimney is round “and [rises] seamlessly from the roof.” That is… interesting. Both editions note that the roof has “water spout[s]”, that are “carved gargoyle[s]” (alright…). The self-published edition says that each window is framed by “a piece of creamy wood cut in smooth, flowing shapes”. The Knopf edition says that each window and door is “framed by carvings of serpents, harts, ravens, and knotted vines.” Ah, there we have the begin of this series’ (often troubled) relation with corvids.

The self-published edition has some more. Gertrude knocks, and Eragon admires the front door. There are “[d]eep carvings” around the frame, which has a “sharp point” at the top. The knob is a “burnished steel rose”. And in the middle of the “oak door” is “an upright silver hammer encircled by twelve stars”.

I… That is exactly the emblem of the currently-ruling dwarven clan, so why in the world has Horst put this on his front door?? He cannot have known this, because as far as I know, he has never been anywhere near a dwarf before now! Oh, it makes sense that he would put a hammer on his door (he is a smith, after all), but having this be the same emblem as that of the dwarf clan is just ridiculous! Well, this has been very rightly cut.

Well, now for the house in general. I think it fits very poorly with the rest of Carvahall. For the rest, the buildings were described as “stout log buildings with low roofs”, so a two-story building, with many stone elements, like the waterspouts, sticks out like a sore thumb. And if Horst can build this house, why is he not constantly asked to upgrade others’ buildings? Why is his house the only one that looks like this when he is such a good builder? I get the feeling Paolini did not think this through.

Why Are We Doing This?: 64

I also love that Eragon has nothing to say about this oddity.

Reaction, Please: 71

This Cannot Be: 24

On another level, this house does not fit with the book’s setting until now. It is clearly supposed to be roughly medieval, but things like Horst’s house feel more Renaissance-like to me, and there will be much more of this later on. I do not mind it, but it was not what Paolini was going for, I am sure.

Elain opens the door. She is described as “a small, willowy woman with refined features and silky blond hair pinned into a bun.” Her dress is “demure and neat”, and her movements are “graceful”. Do we truly need the emphasis on how refined and demure she is? I would expect her to be praised for being a Good Housewife, too. And given that this is the character who will be mostly notable for being pregnant in later books, I am not inclined to be charitable.

No-Wave Feminism: 57

Elain invites them in, and there is a description of the room. A “staircase with a polished balustrade” curves to the floor, and the walls are “the color of honey”. Is that because the walls have been painted in that colour or is that because of the wood in the walls? I cannot visualise it very well. Elain gives Eragon a “sad smile”, but she talks to Gertrude. These things are not in contradiction, Paolini.

PPP: 446

She says that she was about to send for Gertrude, as Garrow is not doing well, and Gertrude should see him immediately. Oh my. Gertrude tells Elain to help Eragon up the stairs, and then hurries to the second floor. Then Eragon says this:

“It’s okay, I can do it myself.”

1) This has a comma splice.

PPP: 447

2) Why does Eragon want to go upstairs alone? I have probably missed something, but I do not see why he would want to.

3) Good to see Eragon use “okay”. That just fits so very well with the setting.

Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 24

Elain asks if he is sure, and he nods, though she looks doubtful. She tells him to come visit her in the kitchen once he is done, as she has a “fresh-baked pie [he] might enjoy.” This misses a comma.

PPP: 448

As soon as she leaves, he leans against the wall, “welcoming the support”. Oh, I see. He probably does not want to accept help in front of others, because Garrow has taught him that is “shameful”. And that might well lead him to fall off the stairs if he is not careful. I cannot bring myself to be entirely sorry about Garrow’s condition because of this, I must say.

Well, Eragon walks up the stairs without incident, and when he reaches the top, he sees “a long hallway dotted with doors”. The last one is slightly open, so Eragon goes toward it. The self-published edition notes that it is carved “with the same care as the front door.”

Inside, Katrina is at the fireplace, “boiling rags”. She looks up and murmurs a condolence when she sees Eragon. Gertrude is “grinding herbs for a poultice”, and by her feet, there is a bucket of “snow melting into ice water”.

Garrow lies on a bed “piled high with blankets.” Um, why? Gertrude clearly wants to keep his temperature down, given the bucket with water, so why has she piled blankets on the bed? Those will only keep heat in and make him warmer! She should know this!

Ill Logic: 139

We then get a description of Garrow. He is sweating, his eyes “flicker[] blindly under his lids, staring at some fevered vision”, and he is still, except for “subtle tremors” from his breathing. The skin on his face is shrunken, which causes his cheekbones to stand out. Eragon touches Garrow’s forehead “with a feeling of unreality” and finds it very hot.

He lifts the blankets and sees that Garrow’s wounds have been bound with “strips of cloth”. Where the bandages are being changed, he can see the wounds, and they have not yet “begun to heal.” What else did we expect? Eragon looks at Gertrude with “hopeless eyes” and asks if she cannot do anything about the wounds.

Gertrude puts a rag into the bucket of ice water, and then “drape[s] the cool cloth over Garrow’s head.” Do make sure he can breathe, Gertrude. Also, I love how she does this and still has lots of blankets piled on top of him. I get the feeling Paolini did not even think about how those blankets would warm Garrow, and it makes this feel unreal indeed.

PPP: 449

She says she has tried everything: “salves, poultices, tinctures, but nothing works”. She says that he would have a better chance if the wounds closed, and he is most certainly tough and sturdy. Yes yes.

In the self-published edition, she also says that “[s]omething’s keeping the wounds open”, and she does not know how to make them close, but with the right conditions, he will heal. It also notes that she sounds “like she [is] trying to convince herself” (thank you for that), and that Eragon feels “anguished”.

I am hardly surprised that his wounds have stayed open; his body probably is more focussed on staying alive than healing the wounds. Also, I am still not very invested in this, mainly because Garrow was quite awful.

Well, Eragon moves to a corner to watch, and he complains that this “isn’t the way things are supposed to be!” Um, his uncle is dying, Paolini, but from the way it is written, it sounds more like Eragon is complaining at a change of routine. You might want to change that.

PPP: 450

Reaction, Please: 72

No one speaks, and the “silence swallow[s] all of Eragon’s thoughts.” He stares blankly at the bed, “unable to do anything else”, as the self-published edition puts it. After a while, Katrina kneels next to him, and she puts an arm around him. That is quite nice of her. In the self-published edition, she says that she is sorry, and that everything will be alright. Eragon does not respond, which I can certainly understand, and she “diffidently [leaves].”

After while, Horst comes in. He talks to Gertrude, and then tells Eragon he ought to “get out of here”. Horst then “drag[s] him to his feet” and shepherds him out the door. Was it necessary to drag Eragon up, Horst, especially when he is still weak?

No Touchy: 6

Eragon complains that he wants to stay, and Horst says that Eragon needs “a break and fresh air”. He does not have to worry, as he can go back “soon enough”. Eragon lets Horst help him down the stairs “into the noisy kitchen”. He smells spices and herbs from “half a dozen dishes”. Albriech and Baldor are there, too, and the self-published edition notes that they are “loung[ing] in chairs around a work table scattered with bowls and containers of flour.” In both editions they are talking with Elain. In the self-published edition, she is “[standing] over the cook stove”, while in the Knopf edition, she is “knead[ing] bread”. Albriech and Baldor fall silent when they see Eragon, but he has heard enough to know they were talking about Garrow.

Horst offers him a chair, which he sits down in. His hands are shaking a little, “so he clasp[s] them in his lap.” Elain puts a plate “piled high with food” before him. She says he does not have to eat it, but it is there if he wants to. Both editions have this line:

She returned to her cooking as he picked up a fork.

Yes, this is also in the Knopf edition, despite that she was just described as “kneading bread”. So why change it if you will not bother to change the mention a few sentences later?

PPP: 451

The self-published edition notes that he takes a few bites “out of a sense of obligation”, but, as both editions note, he can barely swallow it. Well, little surprise there, given how stressed he probably is. Horst asks him how he feels, and Eragon says “[t]errible”. Horst waits a bit, and then says that it is not the best time, but they need to know: “what happened?”

And I think I will cut off for now, as I am at about 2/3 of this chapter. Next time, we can see how Eragon explains what happened. Until then!