BattleAxe First Read: Peek at the Glossary (Part II)

[pangolin20]

Peek At the Glossary (Part I) | Table of Contents | Chapter Eighteen (Part I)

NRSG: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, I looked through half of the glossary, and I ended up naming the continents of this world. Now for the reader post:

 

Epistler points out that the name “Shadowsward” makes no sense. A “sward” is a field of grass, after all, so why the forest is called this is anyone’s guess.

A Better Commando Name: 26

I have also played around a bit with the map from the Wayfarer Redemption trilogy to make this one:

This reflects Achar as it looks now, only with somewhat better graphics.

I also wonder if Grancendor truly classifies as a continent… Going by the area I calculated for the map earlier, I think it is about as large as Greenland, and that is considered an island. Grancendor, of course, is not an island, as it is attached to Desertia, so… a peninsula? I think I will refer to it as a continent regardless, but it is interesting to think about.

Well then, let me finish the glossary!

This time, I would rather begin with the religious terms.

PLOUGH, The: each Acharite village has a Plough, which not only serves to plough the fields, but is also the centre of their worship of the Way of the Plough.

So… does this imply that they actually worship the Plough? I will hold off on giving it a point until we see more, but I am quite suspicious of this.

Also, does this mean that every village has a single plough? Really now? I think that would be somewhat little.

A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 17

The Plough was the implement given by Artor the Ploughman to enable mankind to civilise themselves. Use of the Plough distinguishes the Acharites from the Forbidden; neither the Icarii nor the Avar practise cultivation.

Which is presumably supposed to be a positive. I do wonder how the Icarii would fill up the gap, then. Maybe they use magic for that?

PLOUGH-KEEPERS: the Seneschal assigns a brother to each village in Achar, and these men are often known as Plough-Keepers.

Well, that explains that. We get an explanation that they guard the Plough, and are also “the directors of the Way of the Plough and guardians of the villagers’ souls”.

Then there is a note about Retreats, which says that those are often used by brothers who prefer the “contemplative life”.

We have an entry for the Seneschal, which summarises what we already know (and actually does what it should!)

Then the entry about the Wars of the Axe. It first explains what we already know, and then we get this:

Lasting several decades, the wars were extraordinarily violent and bloody.

Why did you put this in the glossary, Douglass?! We ought to have heard about this by now!

Manage Your Info Better: 19

They took place some thousand years before the time of the Prophecy of the Destroyer.

Why not say “a thousand years before the present time”?

And then the entry on the Way of the Plough. You know what, I think I will just quote it:

The Way of the Plough is centred about the Plough and cultivation of the land. Its major tenets teach that as the land is cleared and ploughed in straight furrows, so the mind and the heart are similarly cleared of misbeliefs and evil thoughts and can consequently cultivate true thoughts. Natural and untamed landscape is evil; thus forests and mountains are considered evil because they represent nature out of control and because they cannot be cultivated. According to the Way of the Plough, then, mountains and forests must either be destroyed or subdued, and if that is not possible, then they must be shunned as the habitats of evil creatures. Only tamed landscape, cultivated landscape, is good, because it has been subjected to mankind. The Way of the Plough is all about order, and about the earth and nature subjected to the order of mankind.

Um… This does not make any sense. The ideas in this paragraph do not follow from each other at all. So let me try to go through it.

First, we have the idea that ordering the landscape, by ploughing it, helps order the mind and the heart. That makes sense with what we have seen, I think, even though we have had no indication of it so far.

A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 18

After that… where do they get the idea from that “natural and untamed landscape is evil”? I guess that it might be “because it is not subject to reason and is not orderly”, and they might want to destroy forests and such to “spread order”, but there is nothing of that.

PPP: 53

Also, we have seen nothing of this yet, so it comes across as contradictory.

PPP: 54

Then… “mountains and forests” must be destroyed or shunned because they are out of control of mankind… Why only those, then? Why not destroy, say, Bogle Marsh (southeast of Arcen), too? Well, that is because mountains and forests are the domains of the Icarii and Avar, respectively! That is why the Acharites want them to be destroyed or shunned; because they believe they are the homes of demons!

Like, Douglass is trying to retrofit what she wrote into a “Seneschal hates nature” narrative, and it absolutely does not work!

And why should they be “shunned as the habitats of evil creatures”? Are you truly implying that the Seneschal came up with the “Forbidden” to explain their hatred of nature? Even though everything shows it is the other way around?

The last bit… well, I do not know what to say to that what I did not just say now.

(shakes self) Counts.

Maria Monk Redux: 34 (+5)

Because of course the Seneschal is all about “domination over nature”, and I get the distinct feeling this rant was directed at Christianity.

FYRP: 78 (+2)

IYES: 11 (+2)

For muddying these two things for no reason.

Write It, And Keep It: 9 (+5)

For the attempted retcon.

I guess Douglass showed us how she really felt, and it was not nice.

Well, on to the last religious term:

WORSHIP HALL: the large hall in each village where the villagers go each seventh day to listen to the Service of the Plough.

Just call it a church already, Douglass!

A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 19

It is also used for weddings, funerals and the consecration of newborn infants to the Way of the Plough. It is usually the most well-built building in each village.

So they also have baptisms, it seems. Nothing wrong with this one, but it does show just how shallow her worldbuilding is. Would it have hurt to change some details, Douglass?

A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 20

Well, now on to… people and concepts.

Ogden is noted to be a Brother “attached to” the Silent Woman Keep. Hmm, fair enough.

“Pace” redirects to “Distances”…

Priam has his family relations noted…

The Privy Council tells us what we know.

The entry about the Prophecy says it tells about Gorgrael and the StarMan, and “No-one knows who wrote it”. Not yet, at least.

The Rainbow Sceptre gets the note that it is mentioned in the Prophecy…

Ah yes, the Ravensbundmen get the note that they are “generally loathed by the Acharites as barbarous and cruel”. So, of course, Douglass subverts that by playing into the “noble savage” trope. Nice.

Rivkah gets her family relations noted, as well as “It is said that she died in Axis’ birth”.

Roland gets the note that he is called “The Walker” because he is too fat to ride, and he is the “Duke of Aldeni” and a military commander. “He is commander of the Keep of Kastaleon”. Um, what?

Let me see… This information is not in the book at all.

Manage Your Info Better: 20

Also, what is Kastaleon? Let me see…

KASTALEON: one of the great Keeps of Achar, situated on the River Nordra in central Achar. Of recent construction.

Now I see it! It also lies in Aldeni, I see. Still might have been nice to clear this up more.

PPP: 55

Also, when I see “Kastaleon”, I get the idea that it is derived from “Castille and León”, the Spanish region (which already existed when this book was written). It does not have to be true, but it sticks out to me regardless.

A Better Commando Name: 27

Well, then we get an entry about Searlas, who he was related to, and that he is now dead.

The entry about the Sentinels says they are “magical creatures of the Prophecy of the Destroyer”. Informative.

Then this:

SKRAELINGS: (also wraiths) insubstantial creatures of the northern wastes who feed off fear and blood.

Mostly correct, except that we have seen they can live off flesh just as good as off blood.

PPP: 56 (did anyone even read this?)

The StarMan gets a note that he is, according to the Prophecy, the only one who can defeat Gorgrael.

“Sorcery” redirects to “Magic”…

With StarDrifter, we just get a note that he is an “Icarii Enchanter” (why the redundancy? Oh, I see this phrase will be seeing a lot of use, so joy.)

We get a note on the House of SunSoar, which reiterates what we know…

The entry on the Talon is fine, except for this: “from the House of SunSoar for over six thousand years”. Because never mind that they were said just last chapter to have ruled for “well over five thousand years”! That is not the same!

PPP: 57

Well, then we get this entry:

TIME OF THE PROPHECY OF THE DESTROYER, The: the time that begins with the birth of the Destroyer and the StarMan and that will end when one destroys the other.

Oh, I see that this is actually a term in the book! Though I have to note that Axis and Gorgrael were not born on the same day, so it cannot have begun with “their births”.

PPP: 58

We then get an entry on Timozel, which tells us what we know… And then…

TREE FRIEND: in Avar legend Tree Friend will be the person who will lead them back to their traditional homes south of the Fortress Ranges. Tree Friend is also the person who will bring the Avarinheim behind the StarMan.

1) Then why did we not hear about this earlier?! Seriously, what was the trouble with telling us that directly in chapter 4!

This Is What the Mystery: 8 (+5)

2) And so it seems we have somewhat of a “white saviour” plot on our hands. Well done, Douglass!

FYRP: 88 (+10)

3) Other than that, it just feels… random. Why is it not Azhure, who actually has contact with the Avar at this point? Or maybe one of Ameld’s other children! That would also make for a good contrast with Axis! But no, who cares about such silly things.

4) Also, why will Tree Friend lead them south of the Fortress Ranges? Those mountains run north-south, and the only place where they run west-east is north is Eastern Skarabost. Yes, that area was where they lived earlier, but something like “south of the Avarinheim” would fit better.

PPP: 59

5) Finally, what does that last bit refer to? Why do we need to have something like this in a glossary?

This Is What the Mystery: 9

The next entry goes like this:

TREE SONG: whatever Song the trees choose to sing you. Many times they will Sing the future, other times they will Sing love and protection. The trees can also Sing death.

1) Why use generic “you” now? And why the capitals?

PPP: 60

2) Well, this is interesting. I presume that the last thing was how they killed the Axe-Wielders who tried to cut down the Silent Woman Woods?

3) Also, that last sentence feels a bit like it was put in to shock. “They can sing love and protection, but also DEATH.”

Edgy Equals Mature, Right?: 12

Well, further down, we get “Unit”, which redirects to the Military terms.

Then a note on Veremund, which is the same as with Ogden…

Then a bit about the title “WarLord”, which was “given to Borneheld […] by King Priam in acknowledgement of Borneheld’s de facto command of the armies of Achar”. So the title has only come into existence just now? It… is not exactly bad, but this should have been made clearer before now.

PPP: 61

Further down, we have entries for “WAY OF THE HORN” and “WAY OF THE WING”, which are apparently terms for the lifestyles of the Avar and Icarii. Too bad that only “Way of the Wing” appears in this book, so once again there is an entry for a phrase that does not exist.

PPP: 62

Further down… “Wraiths” redirects to “Skraelings”.

Yr is described as “sometime palace cat in Carlon”. You are not fooling me with that either, Douglass.

This Is What The Mystery: 10

Finally, there is this entry:

YSGRYFF, Baron: lord of Nor, and a somewhat wild and unpredictable man like all those of his province.

So more racism. Nice.

FYRP: 89

And then a note on Yuletide, which redirects to “Festivals”.

Well, let me now go through the military terms:

MILITARY TERMS—Acharite (for both regular army and the Axe-Wielders):

Squad: a group of thirty-six men, generally archers.

Unit: a group of one hundred men, either infantry, pikemen, or cavalry.

Cohort: five units, so five hundred men.

Nothing wrong here, I would say.

Onto the months, then:

MONTHS (northern hemisphere seasons apply)

Because putting it on the southern hemisphere would break the mould, and we cannot have that.

Wolf-month: January

Raven-month: February

Hungry-month: March

Thaw-month: April

Flower-month: May

Rose-month: June

Harvest-month: July

Weed-month: August

DeadLeaf-month: September

Bone-month: October

Frost-month: November

Snow-month: December

All in all, not too bad. My main problem is that I simply do not understand why she chose “Wolf-month” and “Raven-month”. What do these have to do with winter? And why is October called “Bone-month”? I might be missing some context, but I do think these should be easy to understand.

A Better Commando Name: 30

Other than that, I do not have much gripes here.

Oh, I see I forgot to do Moryson, but his entry is simply a recap of what we know of him.

Now for the places, then.

NOR: the southernmost of the provinces of Achar. Nors people are darker and more exotic than the rest of the Acharits. Nor is controlled by Baron Ysgryff.

FYRP: 90

Going by this and the “Sea of Tyrre”, I am quite certain that the Nors will embody all kinds of stereotypes about Mediterranean people. How nice.

Seriously, though, if she wanted to have a serious story about racism and oppression and such, putting in (racist) stereotypes of Inuit and Mediterranean people completely undermines that!

PPP: 67 (+5)

I also note this entry uses “controlled by” rather than “administered by” for some reason.

Now there is a note on “Nordmuth”, which is the port at the delta of the Nordra.

On to the article on the Nordra itself. It is called “the great life line of Achar”, and we get a description of its course, that includes “Shadowsward”.

FYRP: 91

It also says it flows through “northern and central Achar”, but it flows through southern Achar, too.

PPP: 68

It finishes by saying the river is used for “irrigation, transport and fishing”.

Then an entry on the “Privy Chamber”, which just notes that it used for the meeting of the Privy Council.

The entry on Ravensbund notes that it is the northernmost province of Achar, “although it is rarely administered by the Acharite monarchy”. I thought it was only “administered” in name?

PPP: 69

Then the article on Romsdale:

ROMSDALE: a province to the south-west of Carlon that mainly produces wine. It is administered by Baron Fulke.

1) First this, for the “administered by”:

PPP: 70

2) Why does “south-west” have a hyphen? Yes, it is consistent with the rest of the series, but I still think it a somewhat strange spelling.

3) So this province mainly produces wine? I am quite sure there are some major holes in the products the provinces give…

Then we get an entry about the “Seagrass Plains”, which are noted to be “the vast grain plains that form most of Skarabost”.

Then there is an entry about the Tower of the Seneschal, which tells us what we know, and adds that “[i]t is very old”. My, might there be something more going on with it, then?

Then an entry for “The Shadowsward”, which notes its location and says that “it is home to the Forbidden”. But the Icarii live in the Icescarp Alps, not here.

PPP: 71

Then an entry for Sigholt, which explains that it is “one of the great Keeps of Achar”, “situated in HoldHard Pass in the Urqhart Hills in Ichtar”. And now we can see on the map where it is! It is noted to be one of the main residences for the Dukes of Ichtar.

And it seems I have forgotten the entry for Hsingard. Let me look there. It is apparently a “large town” in central Ichtar, and is the seat of the Dukes of Ichtar. So, in other words, it is Ichtar’s capital. (Hsingard. How transparent can you be?)

Now we get entries on the Silent Woman Keep and Woods, which are mostly unremarkable.

Now for the entry on Skarabost. It says it is “administered” by Isend.

PPP: 72

We are also informed it is a “large eastern province” that “grows much of the kingdom’s grain supplies”. That tracks. What noticeably does not track is that the export products noted so far are almost exclusively food and drink, which are not at all sufficient to support Achar.

A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 20

Now that I look at it… I see the alphabetisation is not entirely smooth:

It goes from “SILENT WOMAN WOODS” to “SONG” to “SKALI”, and later from “SMYRTON” to “STARMAN, The” to “SORCERY”. This does not seem to have been proofread at all.

PPP: 75 (+3)

Well, the entry on Smyrton notes it is a large village in Skarabost, “virtually at the entrance to the Forbidden Valley”.

Going down a bit… We come to this:

TARANTAISE: a rather poor southern province of Achar. Relies on trade for its income. It is administered by Baron Greville.

Not too bad, and I do like seeing that this province does not export food stuffs. I will still give the requisite point, though.

PPP: 76

We get an entry about the Plains of Tare, which tells us nothing new, and then one about Tencendor.

TENCENDOR: the ancient name for the continent of Achar before the Wars of the Axe. A name now forgotten by all except the Forbidden.

First, why use “Forbidden” here?

FYRP: 92

Second, would this name truly have been forgotten? I would rather think it would deliberately not be used because it was the name “the Forbidden” used.

Further down, we get the entry for the Sea of Tyrre, which is described as “the ocean off the south west coast of Achar”. I think that should be hyphenated.

PPP: 77

That aside, why is the Sea of Tyrre described as an ocean, but the Andeis Sea not? We have no indication that there is any difference in size between the two, after all.

PPP: 78

Then an entry on the Urqhart Hills, which are described as “a minor crescent-shaped range of mountains in central Ichtar”. That certainly seems to fit.

Further down, there is an entry for “Western Mountains”, only the actual term for that feature is “Western Ranges”. So well done, Douglass!

PPP: 79

There is also an entry for Ysbadd, which names it as the capital of Nor.

Finally, there is this entry:

WIDOWMAKER SEA: vast ocean to the east of Achar. From the unknown islands and lands across the Widowmaker Sea come the sea raiders that harass Coroleas and occasionally Achar.

Yes, because it makes so much sense that the raiders would cross an entire ocean to Desertia and Grancendor instead of staying with their own continent.

A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 21

For that matter, why is there no contact with people from across the Andeis and Tyrre Seas, then?

Of course, this assumes that only the present books exist. Pulling up the map of the later books tells a very different story:

Let me first recalculate the scale… Using a figure from the later books, I arrive at dimensions of… I ought to test this with Tencendor first… (shakes head) Ah, I see now.

After some recalibration, I have arrived at a surface area of 17,55 million mi² (45,46 million km²) for the larger map (some 8,9% of the surface area). That will help later on, I am sure.

Well, now for the “vast ocean” bit. Measuring the shortest distance depicted on the map (between the cape north of the estuary of the Bracken and the headland between Escator and Alaric) gives me a measure of ~374 miles (~600 kilometres). I would hardly call that a “vast ocean”.

And yes, I know that all the things outside of Tencendor were probably only conceptualised later… except that in this very trilogy we get a reference to Escator, and Douglass wrote two books taking place on Principalis within a few years of this. And anyway, if you want to have Coroleas impact the plot, you also ought to have a sense of what the other countries are doing! Then you do not have absurdities like raiders crossing an ocean to go raiding!

A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 26 (+5)

PPP: 84 (+5)

And looking at the map again, it seems most likely to me that the raiders are coming from Treachery Island (the big island between Desertia and Principalis), because that lies close to Coroleas. So the notion they come from over sea makes even less sense.

(On a side note, we will not be seeing any of the worldbuilding for the southwest bit of the map. I am not entirely sure how an adventure in that area would have fit with the last trilogy, so… I suppose it might just be that she wanted it in place if she needed it. I appreciate it very much either way.)

And well, that was the glossary!

Next time, I will go back to things I have some more experience with by going on with the story. See you then!

Comments

[chessybell_90]

... The invention of farming is why you exist, Douglass.

Okay, so a Plough-Keeper would be equivalent to a parish priest. Why are they all brothers? Many priests are not members of a religious order, and while there are parishes under the care of a religious order - my own parish is under the care of a chapter of Dominicans - it's never been all parishes.

Wait, does Douglass only have one religious order? That's absurd!

The communal solitude of the desert fathers, the prayerful industry of the Benedictines, the solemn prayerfulness of the Carmelites - these are not things one can just jam together under one rule of life! A Franciscan is not a Dominican, and neither of them is a Jesuit!

Religious orders are not founded to satisfy some vague religious yearning, they are founded to promote a way of life, a mission if you will, so that like-minded people can join together and support each other. For there to be only one religious order... Which one would you even pick?

And I just know she's left out the women's orders entirely. Never mind that St. Scholastica's order is as old as that of her brother St. Benedict, the father of Western monasticism, 'clearly' the religious life is a man's game. Ugh.

So... we have a whole religion and the most important thing about it is... it hates nature. First of all, at one-thousand years old if it was really that impractical it'd have died out already.

Secondly, do you notice what's missing from that potted description? Artor! Imagine giving a run-down on Catholicism without mentioning God!

Thirdly, Catholicism and indeed all religions are about how one ought to live. Aside from destroying and shunning untamed landscapes, what part of this description tells us how followers of Artor are supposed to live? How are they supposed to conduct themselves in society or their private life? What virtues do they value? How do they display good order in their daily life?

The more I read of her, the more convinced I am that Douglass had absolutely no business writing about religion.

[epistler]

The Plough was the implement given by Artor the Ploughman to enable mankind to civilise themselves. Use of the Plough distinguishes the Acharites from the Forbidden; neither the Icarii nor the Avar practise cultivation.

Then where the hell are the Icarii getting their food?

Just call it a church already, Douglass!

Rather hilariously, we have churches that are not called churches but later on there are... minarets. You know, Muslim religious buildings. Except they're not religious here and there are no Muslims or equivalent thereof. They're just called minarets for no reason.

3) Other than that, it just feels… random. Why is it not Azhure, who actually has contact with the Avar at this point? Or maybe one of Ameld’s other children! That would also make for a good contrast with Axis! But no, who cares about such silly things.

4) Also, why will Tree Friend lead them south of the Fortress Ranges? Those mountains run north-south, and the only place where they run west-east is north is Eastern Skarabost. Yes, that area was where they lived earlier, but something like “south of the Avarinheim” would fit better.

This never happens anyway. The Avar are pretty much entirely pointless. All they do is give Axis a rod.

NOR: the southernmost of the provinces of Achar. Nors people are darker and more exotic than the rest of the Acharits. Nor is controlled by Baron Ysgryff.

And all Nors women are sluts and whores. No really, that's what's right there in canon, repeatedly.

ROMSDALE: a province to the south-west of Carlon that mainly produces wine. It is administered by Baron Fulke.

aka Sir Not Appearing In This Trilogy

[epistler]

... The invention of farming is why you exist, Douglass.

Yeah, farming being eeeevil is just stupid.

Secondly, do you notice what's missing from that potted description? Artor! Imagine giving a run-down on Catholicism without mentioning God!

And leaving Jesus out entirely - wtf? The only Messiah figure in this thing is - gag - Axis. It gets more and more blatant as this trilogy goes on.

[chessybell_90]

I'll admit I've been assuming Artor is meant to be 'the Jesus figure' and that Douglass either does not care or does not know about the other two persons of the Blessed Trinity.

It's a stylistic thing mostly, in that while God is One the three Persons of God do different things and Artor seems to be believed to have done things more in line with what God the Son, AKA Jesus Christ true God and true man, did during the time He spent among us.

[chessybell_90]

[sarc] Clearly the Icarii have the good fortune of living in a land where the rivers literally run with rich, nutritious milk. [/sarc]

More seriously, Douglass may think hunter-gathers easily bring in abundant calories. I'm told someone did a study of modern hunter-gathers living in a rainforest and found that they spent less effort (or at least less time) collecting food from the wild then a farmer would spend growing it, which explains why they don't farm their food, and then people thought this was true across the globe.

Now, I haven't asked any Inuit or Dené what their thoughts on the matter are, but for some strange reason I think they'd fall over laughing.

[epistler]

It occurs to me that if you're going to criticise Christianity you should probably first ensure you actually know how it works. But maybe that's just me.

[pangolin20]

... The invention of farming is why you exist, Douglass.

NRSG: Indeed. Come to think of it... I would say this focus on how "evil" farming is (and later on we will get an Avar lecturing Faraday on that), actively works to the detriment of this book. The bad things the Seneschal did, after all, were driving away the Icarii and Avar and destroying much forest, not inventing farming! What kind of message is this even trying to send?

I think this probably has to do with the influence from Mists of Avalon, but how hard would it be to fix the messaging?

Well-said about orders! After a literal thousand years, one would expect at least some to form. It... is just worldbuilding of tissue paper.

Secondly, do you notice what's missing from that potted description? Artor! Imagine giving a run-down on Catholicism without mentioning God!

Yes, I see now. That is quite bad indeed.

How are they supposed to conduct themselves in society or their private life? What virtues do they value? How do they display good order in their daily life?

And of course we do not see anything of this in the book, either...

The more I read of her, the more convinced I am that Douglass had absolutely no business writing about religion.

Me too.

[pangolin20]

Then where the hell are the Icarii getting their food?

NRSG: I guess we will see, because I frankly cannot be bothered to go looking for it now.

Rather hilariously, we have churches that are not called churches but later on there are... minarets. You know, Muslim religious buildings. Except they're not religious here and there are no Muslims or equivalent thereof. They're just called minarets for no reason.

I had already noticed while editing the map. And that is very strange indeed.

This never happens anyway. The Avar are pretty much entirely pointless. All they do is give Axis a rod.

And they do not even appear in the final trilogy...

And all Nors women are sluts and whores. No really, that's what's right there in canon, repeatedly.

Oh, fuck off, Douglass!!

aka Sir Not Appearing In This Trilogy

To be precise, he does appear when Axis goes to assign Tencendor.

[epistler]

NRSG: I guess we will see, because I frankly cannot be bothered to go looking for it now.

We won't. You never find out where they get their food, or fabric and other essentials either for that matter.

Oh, fuck off, Douglass!!

It could have been interesting if Azhure had to deal with being prejudiced against because she's half Nors, but of course that never happens, and I'm betting it's because it's not an intentional social flaw but something the author actually considers to be "true". It is after all something told to us by the narrator, who just gets even more intrusive and judgemental as the trilogy goes on.
Seriously, I hate the narrator so much.

[epistler]

Later on we also get the Ravensbundmen (god what a stupid name), who are basically Eskimos, and oh god the racism is appalling.

[chessybell_90]

In this particular case I suspect Douglass has gotten Protestant rhetoric confused with Catholic practice, since there are a number of Protestants who talk about Jesus Christ Savior of Mankind without mentioning the other two persons nearly so much.

Denomination really matters!

[chessybell_90]

[sarc] Ah, but fixing the messaging would require her to think critically about her beliefs and that's far too much work to expect of her! [/sarc]

[wolfgoddess77]

- Also, does this mean that every village has a single plough? Really now? I think that would be somewhat little.

Given that 'Plough' is capitalized, I'm tempted to think that it's more of an ornamental thing rather than an actual field tool. It can't possibly be the only one in each village, because most of the families would need one for farming. So maybe there's one big one that's all decorated up and special, and then your common farming tools.

(Incidentally, the word 'plough' has ceased to hold any meaning for me. It's not even a word anymore. It's a jumble of nonsensical letters.)

- The last bit… well, I do not know what to say to that what I did not just say now.

I do have one thing to add. The whole idea that 'wild = evil and must either be destroyed or tamed', and that only civilized things are good. Given humanity's own outlook about this concept in the not so distant past... Yeah. I'm a bit uncomfortable.

- The entry about the Prophecy says it tells about Gorgrael and the StarMan, and “No-one knows who wrote it”. Not yet, at least.

*shouting from a distance* We know that they're a jerk, though!

- So the title has only come into existence just now?

I don't think that's what was implied. It seems to me it's saying that it's supposed to be a title only the king can bestow on someone, hence the "“given to Borneheld […] by King Priam"

- Then an entry on the “Privy Chamber”, which just notes that it used for the meeting of the Privy Council.

I've actually seen the term 'privy chamber' used to referred to the toilet, so that's a little funny to me.

- TARANTAISE: a rather poor southern province of Achar. Relies on trade for its income.

This seems a little strange to me. Most of the time, traders and merchants are portrayed as having quite a nice lifestyle. Maybe not exactly rich, but still very well off. If this province is so poor, what do they have to trade? And it can't be all that poor if it has enough excess of whatever product it is to trade.

[pangolin20]

Given that 'Plough' is capitalized, I'm tempted to think that it's more of an ornamental thing rather than an actual field tool. It can't possibly be the only one in each village, because most of the families would need one for farming. So maybe there's one big one that's all decorated up and special, and then your common farming tools.

NRSG: (shakes head) So uncharitable... Well, let me have a look.

It seems that they indeed have multiple ploughs, and the Plough is apparently called "the Altar of the Plough" and is a sculpture of one? At least the one in Smyrton is? What is this, Douglass?

I do have one thing to add. The whole idea that 'wild = evil and must either be destroyed or tamed', and that only civilized things are good. Given humanity's own outlook about this concept in the not so distant past... Yeah. I'm a bit uncomfortable.

She might have used that skilfully in the racism plot... but it rather seems like a way to make the Seneschal look bad, so it fails.

I don't think that's what was implied. It seems to me it's saying that it's supposed to be a title only the king can bestow on someone, hence the "“given to Borneheld […] by King Priam"

That is true. I do wonder if the title has been given before now...

This seems a little strange to me. Most of the time, traders and merchants are portrayed as having quite a nice lifestyle. Maybe not exactly rich, but still very well off. If this province is so poor, what do they have to trade? And it can't be all that poor if it has enough excess of whatever product it is to trade.

Looking at the map, it is also not in a very far-off corner of Tencendor, either. I guess they could raise taxes on the goods that come through? It still feels weird.

[maegwin_of_hern]

Wait, there's a place called "Treachery Island"? Is it because of treacherous waters around the island, which makes navigating a ship there a very dangerous task? Or are the people there known for being untrustworthy?

I don't mind the former, but the latter I find too much on the nose.

[pangolin20]

NRSG: It is the long and thin island between Desertia and Principalis! I think it is the latter, since that is the most likely place for the "summer raiders" we heard about earlier (not that this island is ever named i the text). That is indeed a bit too obvious.

[maegwin_of_hern]

not that this island is ever named i the text

I assume Douglass meant to involve it in the story at some point but then cut it out or forgot about it, and also didn't double-check her glossary.

But it's interesting who gets to name places. As you wrote, several places are named by the Acharites even though they belong to the other groups. Now I wonder whether the summer raiders have a different name for the island or if they took over the name.

[pangolin20]

I assume Douglass meant to involve it in the story at some point but then cut it out or forgot about it, and also didn't double-check her glossary.

NRSG: That is a fair assumption... though I get the feeling she wanted to put it in "just in case". I think that is how we got Baron Mascen, Lord of Rhaetia in the glossary, when there is little reason he would ever be relevant. Likewise, I do not see how she could have worked these places elegantly into the story. It might not have been the best option to include them, but I do like free worldbuilding. :>

But it's interesting who gets to name places. As you wrote, several places are named by the Acharites even though they belong to the other groups. Now I wonder whether the summer raiders have a different name for the island or if they took over the name.

I think it would be the former... (About different names, I do think Douglass can handle that well, for example with "Pirates' Nest" compared with the name it will get eventually.)

[maegwin_of_hern]

I do like free worldbuilding

That's fair.