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pangolin20) wrote2024-03-10 11:43 am
BattleAxe First Read: Peek at the Glossary (Part I)
Chapter Seventeen (Part II) | Table of Contents | Peek at the Glossary (Part II)
NRSG: A good day everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, we reached the Ancient Barrows, Belial and Axis apparently did not know their own history, and we had some “romance”. I also decided to take a peek at the glossary.
Before we begin, I would like to assign a point for Axis and Belial getting lectured on the history of their own religion, which they already knew.
Maria Monk Redux: 27
I also note that, while Douglass describes Faraday as “intelligent” and “perceptive” and other positive qualities quite often, she truly does not seem to like Faraday. So this… well, I get the feeling she did this so there would be a “competent female character” or the like, while still disliking her.
Anyway, let me now have a peek at the glossary, beginning at the beginning:
ACHAR: the realm stretching over most of the continent, bounded by the Andeis, Tyrre and Widowmaker Seas, the Shadowsward Forest and the Icescarp Alps. (Achar is pronounced with a hard ch, as in “loch”.)
Thoughts, thoughts…
1) This is really not very informative. Why do we need an explanation of what exactly borders it? And why does this not mention that the inhabitants are called “Acharites”?
PPP: 31
2) “The continent”? Like, does it literally not have a name? I think it is called “Tencendor” later on, but then again, that is often in reference to the “land of Tencendor”… Oh, I see it is apparently called Tencendor later on, because that’s not confusing at all. But what do the Acharites, and the people from outside it call it?
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 7
I think I will call it something like… “Greater Tencendor”, or maybe “Gran Tencendor”, given how Spanish the name sounds. Even better, let me use “Grancendor”!
I would also like to come up with names for the other two continents, as seen on this map:
(Yes, it makes me cringe to look at. The labels…)
For the southwestern continent, let me use… Desertia (in this case, the “abandoned land”). Oh, I see it is supposed to be called Coroleas, too, but that is already an empire, and I want a name for the continent.
For the eastern one… oh, that is literally called “the eastern continent”. I think I will go with something like “main continent”, given how much larger than the others it is. In Latin, that would be “continēns prīncipālis”, so let me name it Principalis.
So there we go! Not to brag about this, but I would say my naming skills are at least a tier above Douglass’s.
3) Back on track, we now have more names! The Andeis Sea lies west of Grancendor, and I do not have much to complain about there… Hmmm, I do, but I will save it for that article. No trouble with the name, either.
4) The Widowmaker Sea also gives no problems for me, not even for its name… yet. If we do not hear about how ferocious this sea is, I think a Better Commando Name point might be appropriate.
5) Regarding the “Shadowsward”… From which point of this book is this glossary written? Why is the Avarinheim described here with the name the Acharites gave it? Why, in this supposed tale of liberation from oppression, does the glossary use the term the oppressor uses?
FYRP: 57
6) Also, to be quite pedantic, it is bordered by the Fortress Ranges, not the Avarinheim.
Well, on to the next entry:
ACHARITES: the people of Achar.
That… is short. Not even a mention of the religion of the Acharites? I do not think it necessarily bad, but still.
AFTERLIFE: both Acharites and the Forbidden believe in the existence of an AfterLife, although exactly what they believe depends on their particular culture.
So… no explanation of what they believe, and we have not had one yet 17 chapter into the book. I would think that is a little important to establish at some point.
A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 8
Other than that, 1) why are we using the term “Forbidden”, and 2) good to see that there is no divergence notable enough to make the glossary in a thousand years.
FYRP: 58
ALDENI: a small province in western Achar, devoted to small crop cultivation. It is administered by Duke Roland.
1) Why “administered”? Like, who is Roland administering it for? We have had no indication that the territory of the lords is not theirs, as far as I know, so this just comes across as strange.
PPP: 32
2) So this province is entirely devoted to “small crop cultivation”? Not a problem in and of itself, but good to see that all we need to know is apparently what products it exports.
A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 9
ANDAKILSA, River: the extreme northern river of Ichtar, dividing Ichtar from Ravensbund. It remains free of ice all year round and flows into the Andeis Sea.
Decent enough, though I do wonder why we need the note about it being free of ice all the time… Ah yes, that is how part of the army is being sent to Gorkenfort: via the Andeis Sea and then up the Andakilsa. Then again, I do wonder if the upper reaches stay clear, too, given that the river originates in the mountains…
ANDEIS SEA: the often unpredictable sea that washes the western coast of Achar.
So… why not name this sea the Widowmaker Sea? Now for my complaint here… Oh, I see there is not really a feature called “Ocean”, so I will retract it.
Then we get “Arcen”, the capital of Arcness (which our group is headed for at the moment).
ARCNESS: large eastern province in Achar, specialising in pigs. It is administered by Earl Burdel.
PPP: 33
So it “specialises” in pigs. The entire province does. And, true, it does say that it “specialises” in pigs, not that that is Arcness’s entire export product, but that is the feeling I get from this. Also, again, why is the products it creates the most important part of Arcness?
A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 10
Now we get an entry for Arne, who… is apparently specifically a “cohort commander”. I think we will see what that means later on.
ARTOR THE PLOUGHMAN: the one true god, as taught by the Brotherhood of the Seneschal.
Quick question, but why is Artor’s name so close to “Arthur”? It feels off to me.
According to the Book of Field and Furrow, the religious text of the Seneschal,
Ah, this was mentioned back in chapter 2, though I did not say all too much about it then. I do look askance at the name a bit, since it is not all too good a name. I frankly have the idea that Douglass chose it to sound a bit ridiculous.
Maria Monk Redux: 28
Artor gave mankind the gift of the Plough, the instrument which enabled mankind to abandon his hunting and gathering lifestyle and to settle in the one spot to cultivate the earth and thus to build the foundations of civilisation.
Well, that does line up, though I have some reservations. For example, what is “hunting and gathering” lifestyle doing here? Would the Acharites think of it that way? Also, what do you mean with “the one spot”, Douglass?
PPP: 34
Then we get an entry about the Avar.
AVAR, The: one of the races of the Forbidden who live in the forest of the Shadowsward, or the Avarinheim as they call it.
See? Why does this description take the viewpoint of the Acharites?
FYRP: 59
We are then told that they are sometimes called “People of the Horn”.
There is also an entry for “Avarinheim”, which just tells us it is home to the Avar, and the Acharites call it “Shadowsward”, and we get a reference to that.
Next entry!
AVONSDALE: province in western Achar. It produces legumes, fruit and flowers. It is administered by Earl Jorge.
A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 11
PPP: 35
Looking at the products… (why “legumes”?), it seems that this is the second province that specialises in vegetables. Do none of the other provinces have something to offer? Also, I have the feeling that we are missing quite some products.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 12
Well, then we get the entry for the Axe-Wielders, which explains that they are “the elite military and crusading wing of the Seneschal”, its members have not taken “holy orders”, but they still wish to contribute, and they were the main reason the Seneschal won the Wars of the Axe. And, “over the subsequent thousand years, [they] have enjoyed a well-deserved reputation for military excellence.”
Um, why are we talking up their excellence when we just mentioned them pushing out the Icarii and Avar?
FYRP: 61 (this and “Forbidden”)
Now comes the entry on Axis. It mentions he is the “illegitimate son of the Princess Rivkah and an unknown father”, and he is currently “BattleAxe of the Axe-Wielders”. And we get references to BattleAxe and Axe-Wielders.
Hmmm, why is Rivkah referred to as a “Princess”? She ought to be called “the Duchess Rivkah”, I think. It… feels like an attempt to make Axis’s parentage more interesting, but it does not fit at all.
A Gold Star For Worldbuilding: 13
PPP: 36
Skipping two entries that we will do later to the one about “Banes”.
BANES: the religious leaders of the Avar people. They wield magic, although it is usually of the minor variety.
That does clear things up, though I am confused at “the minor variety”. That… has not been established as part of the setting, so this is confusing.
PPP: 37
Moving forward…
· “BARROWS, The Ancient”: Tells us what we just learned, so fine. I do have to say “ANCIENT BARROWS, The” would have been a much better indexing.
PPP: 38
· “BATTLEAXE, The”: What we already know, and they are appointed for being loyal to the Seneschal, being devoted to their religion, and being skilled “as a military commander”.
· “BELAGUEZ”: Axis’s horse.
· “BELIAL”: The second-in-command of the Axe-Wielders.
· “BELTIDE”: and this references to “Festivals”. Good to know.
· “BOOK OF FIELD AND FURROW”: Same as was said above.
· “BORNEHELD”: Duke of Ichtar, which makes him the “most powerful noble in Achar”, and a note on his parentage.
Now for something slightly more interesting, as we get to “BRACKEN, River” (and apparently “bracken” refers to some kind of fern. The more you know!).
Let me pull up the map…
The Bracken Ranges lie between Arcness and Skarabost here, and the River Bracken originates in them and flows to the east, and then ends in an estuary. We had a mention of this in chapter 6, since the group is supposed to cross this river at some point.
On we go!
We get an entry about the Brother-Leader, that he is elected, and is “a powerful man”. It also has this sentence: “Usually elected by the senior brothers, the Office of Brother-Leader is for life.” Very well constructed.
PPP: 39
More entries:
· “BURDEL, Earl”: Lord of Arcness and a good friend to Borneheld. I… guess we could have seen that because Burdel wants to watch over Faraday for Borneheld? Still not very clear, I must say.
· “CARLON”: Capital of Achar and such.
· “CAULDRON LAKE”: What we already know.
· “CHAMBER OF THE MOONS”: the audience chamber “and sometime banquet chamber” of the palace in Carlon.
· “COHORT”: A reference to “military terms”, because why not.
· “DESTROYER, The”: Another term for Gorgrael.
· “DEVERA”: Roland’s daughter, who has literally left the story, and we never find out what happens to her, because that is good writing.
PPP: 44 (+5) (could you please not let her drop out of the story completely?)Then we get a bit about distances. I think I will just show it, as a reference:
League: roughly seven kilometres, or four and a half miles.
Pace: roughly one metre or one yard.
Handspan: roughly twenty centimetres or eight inches.
Thank you for providing both measurements, Douglass!
Then an entry for “EMBETH, Lady of Tare”, which notes that she is a widow of Ganelon, and “good friend and sometime lover of Axis” (“good friend”… citation needed).
Then… Let me show this:
ENCHANTERS: the magicians of the Icarii people. Many of them are very powerful.
Very Beautiful, Very Powerful: 8
Do contrast this with the Banes, who wield magic “of the minor variety”. This is the favouritism I noticed earlier, and it is something you ought not to have in this kind of story. And at this moment I cannot think for any good reason why this difference is there.
FYRP: 71 (+10) (a quite large worldbuilding piece, so I think this is appropriate)
All Enchanters have the word “Star” somewhere in their names.
Which would not be a problem, except that this “Star” replaces one of the two elements of the Icarii name, so Enchanters have a much smaller reach of names. And… that leads to some outlandish second elements for these names (CoalStar, anyone?). So, for painting herself in a corner qua naming, have this:
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 14
Then we get the entry for Faraday, which only lists her parentage.
And then we get to the Festivals!
FESTIVALS of the Avar and the Icarii:
Yuletide: the winter solstice, in the last week of Snow-month.
Beltide: the spring Festival, the first day of Flower-month.
Fire-Night: the summer solstice, in the last week of Rose-month.
1) Of course these are only the Festivals of the Avar and Icarii, because the Acharites do not have any such worldbuilding.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 15
2) Going by the dates… these are held on December 21st, May 1st, and June 21st. Um… wait. Later in the book, the first day of the third week of December is described as being four days before Yuletide, so this cannot be true. You know what, I will stick with the dates supplied above for consistency.
PPP: 46 (contradictory worldbuilding)
Well, let us see how long she manages to stick with which week it is.
3) Why no autumn Festival on the first of November? An explanation would be nice here.
A Gold Star for Worldbuilding: 16
4) Now for the names… Yuletide is fine, and with Fire-Night we will eventually get an explanation, too. By now, I do have a problem with “Beltide”, as it looks like a portmanteau between “Beltane” and “Yuletide”, and I cannot think of a reason for that. I can see why she wanted to avoid “Beltane” (that would be a little out of place for this world), but then come up with a better name for it than “Beltide”!
A Better Commando Name: 25
Oh, I see I entirely forgot Coroleas!COROLEAS: the great empire to the south of Achar. Relations between the two countries are usually cordial.
Good enough, though a little short on information. Then again, I see this is not mentioned again after chapter 2, so that makes sense. I do doubt whether it can truly count as an empire… but I think we can judge that better later on.
On again!
We get an entry about Fingus, which literally tells us nothing more about him. Alright then.
The entry for Fire-Night is written as “Fire-Night, The”, which is strange since the festival is never called The Fire-Night.
PPP: 47
Then the entry about “the Forbidden”. The Seneschal teaches they are evil, they were pushed back into “the Shadowsward and the Icescarp Alps”, and it is part of legend that one day they will try to reclaim their lands.
FYRP: 72 (for “Shadowsward”)
Next entry talks about “the Forbidden Territories”, which are, of course, “the Shadowsward and the Icescarp Alps”.
FYRP: 73
Too bad that this phrase never occurs in this book. So we have a glossary entry for something that does not exist in this book!
PPP: 48
Then an entry about the Forbidden Valley, which is where the Nordra “escapes” the Avarinheim and flows into Achar.
FYRP: 75 (twice “the Shadowsward”)
Then we get an entry about “FOREST, concept of” that tells us that the Acharites hate forests, the forest in Achar has been destroyed, and the only trees grown are “fruit trees and plantation trees for timber”. All fine, but why give us only the Acharite concept of the forest?
Well, the entry for the “Fortress Ranges” tells us that the “Forbidden are penned behind these ranges”.
FYRP: 76
We get some more things:
· FULKE, Baron: the lord of Romsdale.
· “FURROW WIDE, FURROW DEEP”: an all-embracing Acharite phrase which can be used as a benediction, as a protection against evil, or as a term of greeting.
Ah, so it can be used as “a protection against evil”? The same goes here as with the Sign of the Plough: they ought to be calling on Artor’s protection with this, not act as if the phrase itself gives protection.
Maria Monk Redux: 29
· GANELON, LORD: once married to Embeth, now dead.
· GHOSTMEN: another term for Skraelings.
· GILBERT: what we already know of him.
· GOLDFEATHER: an Icarii woman.
Ah yes, she is certainly an Icarii, which is why we had no mention of her wings at all.
This Is What the Mystery: 2
Now for the entry about Gorgrael. He is called “an evil lord of the north who […] will threaten Achar”. Not entirely inaccurate, but the phrasing is a little off. After all, according to the Prophecy, he will destroy Achar if not stopped, instead of merely threatening it.PPP: 49
Then there are three entries about Gorkenfort, Gorken Pass, and Gorkentown, with nothing remarkable for them.
Then GRAIL LAKE. It is described as “a massive lake at the lower reaches of the River Nordra”, and on its shores lie Carlon and the Tower of the Seneschal. I would rather say it lies on the River Nordra.
PPP: 50
As for how large it is… Oh, I see that Scales has computed the area as 825 mi2, or ~2137 km2. That does fit, I would say.
Then an entry for Baron Greville, who is not even mentioned in this book, so why have an entry for a term readers will not have to look up?
PPP: 51
“Handspan” redirects to “Distances”.
There are entries on the Icarii, which is the same as for the Avar, and the Icescarp Alps, which is notable for holding the Icarii.
ICHTAR, DUKE of: the lord of Ichtar, currently Borneheld.
ICHTAR, The Province of: the largest and richest of the provinces of Achar. Ichtar derives its wealth from its extensive grazing herds and from its mineral and precious gem mines.
Well, this diverges quite a bit from the other province entries!
PPP: 54 (using “province of” in the entry name, separate entry for the lord, no mention of who “administers” it)
That aside… good to see that Ichtar also supplies goods other than food! Especially the “mineral” (does that also include ores?) mines are quite necessary to keep Achar running, I would think.
The entry for Isend has this to say: “lord of Skarabost, a darkly handsome but somewhat dandified lord”. I… she actually put this in the glossary?! It was bad enough we had notes on how “foppish” and “dandified” he was, but putting it here?
All The Isms: 10 (homophobia)
JACK THE PIG BOY or JACK SIMPLE: pig herder of Arcness.
You have to do better than that to fool me, Douglass.
This Is What The Mystery: 3
More entries:
· JAYME: Brother-Leader.
· JORGE, Earl: Earl of Avonsdale, and a very experienced military campaigner.
· JUDITH: Queen of Achar.
· KAREL: Old king of Achar, now dead.
· LEAGUE: Redirect to “Distances”.
· MAGARIZ, LORD: Commander of Gorkenfort.
Then we get an entry about MAGIC, which only explains how the Seneschal teaches everyone to hate it and such. Because of course we cannot, say, get an explanation of the different kinds of magic. It is not like anyone might want to look that up, after all.PPP: 52
Then we get an explanation of “malfari”, which you might remember from the prologue, and we learn that the Avar make bread from the tuber.
Finally, there is an entry for Merlion, which just lists her family relationships.
Well, since I am now halfway through the glossary and it is considerably longer than the word limit I had conceived of, let me stop here for the time being. Next time, I will do the other half. Until then!
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NRSG: Indeed they should, and we should probably be seeing it, too! It truly shows that she did not bother to put worldbuilding into the humans beyond what she strictly needed.
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NRSG: Those last two would have made for a considerably better festival to start this book on, at least. Also, given that the only festival we see is Priam's nameday, I get the distinct feeling that Douglass meant to do so at some level. That can work, but it does not here.