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pangolin20) wrote2023-09-02 01:51 pm
Eragon: Chapter Six: Tea for Two (Part III)
Kerlois: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to Eragon. Last time, we sat through Brom’s explanation of the Riders, and I was quite long-winded. This time, Eragon and Brom will keep talking.
Brom has just said that he has answered two of Eragon’s questions. Eragon “absently” confirms this. He tells us that it seem like “an incredible coincidence” that he was named after “the first Rider.”
1) Yes, what an incredible coincidence it is, Eragon. There is, of course, no possibility at all the Selena might have learned about Eragon I during the time she spend in the Empire, and might have decided to name you after him.
Ill Logic: 70
S Ill Logic: 74
2) Why did Selena name him after Eragon? We will never find out.
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 118
S Missing Puzzle Pieces: 119
3) Was Eragon I actually a Rider? We never do get a mention of him having bonded with Eld’ranr… I suppose that a) he could have been bonded to Eld’ranr like the present Eragon or b) he could have been named a Rider. The former seems quite unlikely to me, as the enchantments for bonding are apparently highly specific, and only apply to hatchlings. So I will go with the latter. Still, some clarity would have been nice.
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 119
S Missing Puzzle Pieces: 120
4) We will not learn much about what happened to them after the formation of the Riders. Eragon I must have lived for some time after that, as we will learn in Eldest that he posed for the artists of the dwarves, and the both of them must have died before the Fall of the Riders, but other than that, there is nothing.
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 120
S Missing Puzzle Pieces: 121
I do wonder if they came to see what they had done… That might make for an interesting story.
Eragon says that “[f]or some reason”, his very own name “[does] not feel the same any more.” Yes, what could that reason be? Maybe that he was named after the first Rider? Trying to obfuscate what you have just written does not make things better, Paolini. The Knopf edition has some changes here, as it deletes “own”, and spells “anymore” as one word.
Eragon asks what his name means. The Knopf edition italicises it.
Brom replies that he does not know (nor will we learn that), and that it is very old. He doubts that anyone except the elves remembers, and that “fortune would have to smile greatly” before he could meet one. Well, do you think he will succeed at that? He praises Eragon’s name somewhat, by saying that it is a “good name” to have, that Eragon “should be proud” of it, and that not everyone “has one so honorable.” All of this falls quite flat to me, considering what an awful person Eragon I was. Personally, I would want to get rid of such a name as soon as possible.
Time for a switch of topic. Eragon “brush[es] the matter from his mind”, saying he will “consider it later” in a part that the Knopf edition deletes. Not that he will think much on it. He focuses on what “he [has] learned from Brom”, and he says that “there [is] something missing.” Well, that is unsurprising, given that it was only the barest summary.
Eragon says he does not understand, and asks where “we” were when the Riders were formed. The Knopf edition changes the last word to “created”.
Brom asks “we” back, and “rais[es] an eyebrow”. Why? What is strange about Eragon asking this? Yes, he is not entirely specific, but that is hardly something worth raising an eyebrow over.
Eragon goes to explain, waving his hands vaguely, and saying that he means “all of us” and “[h]umans in general.”
Brom laughs at that. Will you stop that, Brom?? Eragon is only asking an honest question!
Some Father You Are: 13
S Some Father You Are: 15
Brom says that humans are “no more native” to Alagaësia than the elves. Well, that tracks. He then says this: It took our ancestors another three centuries to arrive here and join the Riders.”
What? This is literally supported by nothing else in the series. To start with the latter claim, in Eldest we will learn that the humans joined the Riders 800 years before the present of the setting, so around 1900 AR. That also tracks with the relative rarity of human Riders in this series; assuming that the number of Riders per century remained constant, there should be 4/13 as much human as elven Riders.
Regarding the former claim… Eldest claims that the humans arrived just before they joined the Riders, and in the self-published version of this story, Brom repeats that story, though without any explicit dates. That only makes it seem as if Brom is lying to Eragon for no reason.
Continuity Fluidity: 70
S Continuity Fluidity: 88
S Write It, And Keep It: 135
Write It, And Keep It: 135
Not that I believe those claims. I will leave a more thorough discussion to Bec Noire in Eldest, but I can already give a counterargument. In a few chapters, we will meet a species called “the Ra’zac”, who apparently mainly prey on humans. We will also learn that they came from Alalëa at the same time as the elves. To me, the most logical explanation is that humans lived in Alalëa, and that at least some part of them went along with the elves to Alagaësia, 2700 years ago.
But as I said, Bec Noire will have a closer look at this.
Eragon responds that it cannot be, as they have “always lived in Palancar Valley”. This edition has a comma splice, which the Knopf edition removes.
S PPP: 152
Aside from that, just look at the marvellous response Eragon manages to come up with! “No, we have always lived here”. And why is he even arguing? He accepted everything Brom said just fine before, and, on this matter, he could expect Brom to know more than him.
Continuity Fluidity: 71
S Continuity Fluidity: 89
In fact, why bother to go through this whole routine? Why stall the story with this very much out-of-place bit? You know what, here comes a count for this, as this is definitely one of Paolini’s writing problems: Get to the Point Already.
Let me see…
1 point from the self-published edition for the extra thinking session in chapter 2.
1 point for the extended encounter with Sloan.
1 point for Horst insisting on sending Baldor with Eragon.
1 point in both editions for Eragon asking Morlock twice what Saphira’s egg was worth.
1 point in the self-published one for Eragon having to ask Morn twice why the traders were bad.
5 points for the dragged-out mystery of chapter 4.
1 point of here.
S Get to the Point Already: 11
Get to the Point Already: 6
As you can see, this is more of a problem in the self-published edition than in the Knopf one, but it will persist.
Brom responds, basically re-explaining what he just said. He says that it “might be true for a few generations, but beyond that, no.” Um, Brom, according to a story you will tell in the self-published edition, there are still descendant of King Palancar living here, and he lived 800 years ago. I do not think that falls under “a few generations”.
Continuity Fluidity: 72 (Brom should know this!)
S Continuity Fluidity: 90
Come to think of it, what is Brom even implying? For that to be true, all the people in Palancar Valley should be recent migrants, and the only reason I can think of for that is that the migrants wiped out the original human inhabitants (Palancar’s descendants). Is that really what you want to imply?
Also, you are strawmanning Eragon’s point. He said something like “there is an unbroken history of human habitation in Palancar Valley”. You respond to “no one living in Palancar Valley now is descended from, or is a migrant themselves.” This is not exactly convincing.
Ill Logic: 71
S Ill Logic: 75
Brom continues with his response, “gently” saying that it is not even true for Eragon. He considers himself “part of Garrow’s family, and rightly so”, but his “sire” was not from there.
1) How do you know this, Brom? How do you know that his father was not from Palancar Valley, hmmm? Do you maybe have some kind of personal knowledge? Are you maybe his father? Yes, this is one of the reasons I think that Brom being Eragon’s father was planned from the beginning. It is not exactly well-concealed.
2) If you are this loose-lipped, how in the world have you kept a disguise for this long? This is simply asking to be found out. The only reason he is not is because Eragon does not follow up on this for some reason.
Ill Logic: 72
S Ill Logic: 76
3) This makes more sense in the Knopf edition, where we do not have Eragon go on about how he is not a part of Garrow’s family, because of his blood relations.
S Continuity Fluidity: 91
Brom tells him to “ask around”, because then he will found “many people who haven’t been here that long.” One, that does nothing to disprove what Eragon said, and two, I am quite certain that Eragon already knows that. There is no need to condescend to him, Brom.
Some Father You Are: 15
S Some Father You Are: 17
Brom closes by saying that the valley is old and that “it hasn’t always belonged to [humans].” Which is true, but is unfortunately the only bit of this that makes sense.
Eragon’s reaction to all this is to “scowl and gulp[] at his tea.” Um, I am quite certain that “gulp at” is not quite idiomatic in this context.
PPP: 124
S PPP: 153
The tea is apparently hot enough to “burn his throat”. Eragon tells us that “This [is] his home, regardless of who his father [is]!”
1) Brom did not say anything of the sort, Eragon. He did not imply that Palancar Valley was not your home, as best as I could see, so I do not exactly see what you are reacting against.
2) And what kind of sentiment does Eragon even express here? What does the identity of his father have to do with whether or not Palancar Valley is his home? Where does he get this idea from?
Connection Has Failed: 28
S Connection Has Failed: 33
3) Also good to see that Eragon has noticed that Brom has mentioned his father, and that he utterly fails to do anything with that information. I would expect him to jump at the information, and question Brom closely about it, but no. He literally forgets about it, because we can only have the father revelation in Brisingr.
Well, here comes a count for all the times that Paolini’s writing choices are much too obviously visible: The Seams Are Showing.
What will I give it… 25 points for the whole situation regarding the egg, 1 point in the self-published one for the scene where Horst wants to send Baldor, 1 point for Eragon trying to determine Saphira’s gender, 1 for Brom showing up behind Eragon earlier in this chapter, 1 for the whole digression we are in, and 1 for Eragon not asking through on this information.
The Seams Are Showing: 29
S The Seams Are Showing: 30
I have also included some scenes that generally felt contrived, even if I do not have an idea what Paolini meant to do.
Oh, and 1 point for Eragon asking after his name, so Brom could praise him.
The Seams Are Showing: 30
S The Seams Are Showing: 31
Anyway, now the self-published edition has some lines that are missing from the Knopf edition. Eragon says that Palancar Valley “[is] theirs and always [will] be”. “Who else was there to claim it?”
Maybe the dragons, who Brom just told you about? Domia Abr Wyrda tells us that they nested in the Spine, after all. Or the Urgals, who are also living nearby? I also do not like his attitude: that because no one is present to claim it, that means that the humans have a right to it. And that is for a given value of present; there are lots of Urgals around, after all.
RVMP: 40
S RVMP: 41
Now Eragon asks after the dwarves. Yes, it is that sudden. One moment he is going on about how Palancar Valley will always belong to humans, and the next he asks about the dwarves. It is even in the same paragraph.
This does bring me to another issue here: the questions Eragon asks. So far, he has asked about the origin of the elves and about the origin of the humans. Now, he asks about the dwarves, and soon he will ask about the dragons and then about the Urgals. I simply get the idea that he is going through a list of dialogue options, like in an RPG.
The Seams Are Showing: 31
S The Seams Are Showing: 32
Anyway, he asks what happened to the dwarves after the Fall of the Riders. Brom says that “no one really knows”. They fought the first few battles along with the Riders (why? I thought they did not care for them?), but when it was clear that Galbatorix would win, “they sealed all the known entrances to their tunnels and disappeared underground.” And as far as he knows, not a single dwarf has been seen since then.
Eragon now asks about the dragons, saying that they “surely [] weren’t all killed.” Well, of course not, otherwise Alagaësia would be a wasteland, if we go with the theory that they are bound to the land. And Shruikan is still alive, too. Come to think of it, why doesn’t Eragon mention Shruikan here? He literally heard about him in Brom’s story!
Continuity Fluidity: 73
S Continuity Fluidity: 92
Brom responds… and I see that there is a significant difference between the two responses. I will take the self-published one first.
Brom get all “sorrowful[]”, and he says that that is “the greatest mystery in Alagaësia nowadays”. There is a incorrect semicolon, as the next clause cannot stand on its own.
S PPP: 154
That clause, and the “mystery”, is “whether or not any dragons survived Galbatorix’s murderous slaughter.”
Some notes first:
1) “Murderous slaughter” is quite redundant.
S PPP: 155
2) “Whether or not”?? You know that Shruikan is alive, Brom! You literally told about him a month ago! Gah, is it so hard to maintain continuity?
S Continuity Fluidity: 93
3) What “slaughter”? When did this come up in Brom’s story of earlier? Where does this idea come from? I cannot see any source for this.
And this idea will persist throughout the coming books. The “official” explanation we will get for what happened to all the Rider dragons is that Galbatorix and the Forsworn decided to genocide them, and almost succeeded. And we are also supposed to assume that there are no dragons outside of Alagaësia, and that, in conclusion, the dragons are almost extinct.
Well, let me now explain why these things do not make sense. And I will try to give counterarguments to myself, to hopefully make my argumentation stronger.
Galbatorix and the Forsworn committing genocide: Where does this fit in the timeline? While an explicit timescale is not given, my best estimate is that the Fall of the Riders took about a month, from the time the Forsworn revealed themselves to the time of the last battle. I do not think that that would be nearly enough time for them to kill any large amount of dragons. And they were also fighting battles with the Riders in the meantime. When would they have done this?
Devil’s Advocate: Maybe they knew tricks that could kill them very quick. In Inheritance, for example, we see one of the Forsworn use a spell that cuts off someone from magic, and, will be later said, dragons will soon die without magic.
Kerlois: I am quite certain that that spell was meant to prevent someone from using magic, and not being able to use magic is not deadly at all for the dragons, as we will see. Anyway, if we do grant that, why could the dragons not stay out of the way of the Forsworn and Galbatorix? Could they not warn the other Riders and dragons about them, and stay out of their way if they did not engage them in battle?
Devil’s Advocate: But he was hunting the wild dragons, according to Umaroth.
Kerlois: …Yes? Why was he hunting the wild dragons, then? How would that help him defeat the Riders? If he was hunting the Rider dragons, I could see it, as he would be weakening their forces, but here, I cannot. Also, why would he be hunting the dragons to extinction in the first place? As we will see, he wants to reconstruct the Riders. Trying to exterminate the dragons does very much not help with that.
Devil’s Advocate: Well, he might have changed his mind in the interim.
Kerlois: I do not think so. As we will see, he took three eggs away back then, and one of which has hatched into Saphira. I do not see why he would have spared them if his intent was to wipe out the dragons.
Devil’s Advocate: But he did kill dragons, did he not?
Kerlois: And where do we see proof of that? We never see any dead dragons lying around, so I do not believe that. And yes, there are lots of dead dragons on Vroengard, but those were probably killed by Thuviel, who was on the side of the Riders.
Devil’s Advocate: Still, that does not mean that the dragons cannot have been killed there.
Kerlois: Yes, but why? One, would the nuclear explosion have killed everyone? The dragons of the Forsworn mostly survived, after all, so why would other dragons not have survived? Two, were all the dragons at Vroengard then? I think that some of them might have taken the chance to flee during the Fall, too. So I think that there are probably quite some dragons in the lands around Alagaësia,
Devil’s Advocate: And what about the dragons over the sea, then? Do you have some evidence for that?
Kerlois: Yes, I do. For one, the Ra’zac, who I have mentioned earlier, change into Lethrblaka as they get older, and then they prey on dragons, among others. So, since the Ra’zac came from Alalëa, I would expect there to be dragons there, too. Also, in the WormFork book, we will see an actual dragon in what is probably Alalëa, since there is no mention of any kind of oppression or of other races.
Devil’s Advocate: But are you certain they are still there at the present?
Kerlois: Why not? I do not see any reason why they would have disappeared in the meantime, so I will assume that they are still there.
Phew! At least I have got that out of the way.
Brom goes on, saying that Galbatorix “would have spared them if they had agreed to serve him”, which still does not work if he wanted to create the Riders again.
S Ill Logic: 81
According to Brom, “only the twisted dragons of the Forsworn would assist his madness.”
1) “Twisted dragons”? Because they could not possibly want to oppose the Riders for any legitimate reason. No, they have to be all eeeevil and “twisted”. And the Forsworn have to be power-hungry and obsessed with revenge. And Galbatorix is “mad”. And Shruikan is a helpless victim. It is almost like this is all propaganda.
I do hate the demonisation of the Forsworn’s dragons, though. We will barely learn a thing about them, and they are never spoken of with any kind of respect.
S Petty Ain’t the Word For You: 65
S What Dragons?: 189 (for no information on Krovogon, Thelhá, Gireld, Hismo, Melia, Athan, Orlandga, Kife, Liselotte, Rolost, Darkí and Cesjarki)
2) This also starts a nice trend with regard to Galbatorix. He will be constantly called “mad” from here on out, and that is also implied to be why he is doing all his eeeeevil things. I mean, we already saw that in Brom’s tale from earlier, did we not? What a great message to send!
S All The Isms: 7
S Petty Ain’t the Word For You: 66
S Paoclichés: 8
That last point is because he seems quite fond of using mentally ill characters as villains, and of “quirky” “mad” characters. Not a very good look when this is one of his clichés.
Brom goes on, saying that “[i]f any dragons are still alive” (which they are!), “they have hidden themselves so they will never be found by the Empire.” Yes, they are hiding somewhere in the 99,3% of the planet that is not Alagaësia. True, not all of that is habitable, but if we go with an estimate of 29,2% land (like Earth), and divide that by two (for habitability), that is 14,6% of the planet. Minus Alagaësia, that is 13,96%, or 21,8 times larger than Alagaësia. Because clearly you are hiding if the area you can go in is 20 times as large as the area you cannot go in.
S PPP: 156
Now for the Knopf version of this. Brom also mentions that it is “the greatest mystery”, though this time without an incorrect semicolon. He phrases it here as “How many dragons survived Galbatorix’s murderous slaughter?”
So Paolini remembered that Brom would know about Shruikan! He can fix things! Still, some points:
PPP: 125
And also, since this “slaughter” is not supported by anything:
Write It, And Keep It: 145
S Write It, And Keep It: 145
Brom says that Galbatorix “would have spared those who agreed to serve him”, which flows much smoother than the original, which, to me, seemed to imply that he would only spare the dragons as a whole.
Come to think of it, if we assume this is true, why would there not be more dragons in Alagaësia? Would some dragons not have submitted to Galbatorix to spare their lives? And would there not have been some who shared his philosophy? This series may try its best to paint them as entirely separate from the rest of the Riders, but I do not believe that none of the dragons would have at least supported them.
Ill Logic: 70
S Ill Logic: 82
Oh, I almost forgot:
Manual Patch Job: 38
S Manual Patch Job: 39
For my arguments from earlier.
Brom has the same bit about how the dragons of the Forsworn were ~twisted~ and how ~mad~ Galbatorix is.
All The Isms: 7
Petty Ain’t the Word For You: 57
Paoclichés: 4
What Dragons?: 189
He says that “if any dragons aside from Shruikan” are still alive (thank you for fixing), they have hidden themselves. No, that has not become any less surreal.
PPP: 126
On to something new! Eragon wonders where Saphira did come from. I think we could have asked that question ourselves.
Thanks for Explaining: 3
S Thanks for Explaining: 10
Eragon then ticks off the last item on his list by asking after the Urgals; he asks if they were in Alagaësia when the elves came over. Brom says no. They followed the elves from Alalëa, “like ticks seeking blood.”
RVMP: 41
S RVMP: 42
I do not think I need to explain this one. He says that they were “one of the reasons” that the Riders “became valued for their battle prowess and ability to keep the peace….” Or, according to Domia Abr Wyrda, which I am willing to trust on this point, for their ability to nearly genocide the Urgals, and force them to live in small areas for thousands of years. But sure, hide it behind “battle prowess and peace-keeping ability”.
This Is Fine: 48
S This Is Fine: 53
Write It, And Keep It: 155
S Write It, And Keep It: 155
“This Is Fine” points because, at this point, the Urgals are still supposed to be eeeevil. I do wonder what those “other reasons” were. Maybe rebelling dragons and humans?
Brom says that “much can be learned from this history” and that it is “a pity that the King makes it a delicate subject.”
I am not quite as lenient as Scales regarding the capitalisation of “king”, so I will be giving those Proofreading points.
This is the eighth time that we have had a capitalised “King” like this in the self-published edition, so…
S PPP: 164
Also, how does Galbatorix make it a “delicate subject”? We will never see him censor any of this! Yes, true, Domia Abr Wyrda was apparently suppressed, but from the extracts that are available, it is very misguided about its subject at best. And it portrays the Riders as the best thing ever, which I can imagine lots of people in the Empire might have been angry about.
Other than that, why would he want to suppress this history? All the evidence we will see paints the Riders as an oppressive regime, which means that Galbatorix’s reign is simply objectively better. Why not show people how awful the regime was that he helped overthrow?
Ill Logic: 71
S Ill Logic: 83
Write It, And Keep It: 156
S Write It, And Keep It: 156
Yes, if you assume that the Riders were better than Galbatorix, it makes sense, but since I do not see things that way, it is just so strange.
Eragon mentions that he heard Brom’s “story” the last time he was “in town.”
1) You are living in a village, Eragon. So you were not exactly “in town”.
PPP: 127
S PPP: 165
2) This is a nice counterexample to Brom’s claim. After all, he told his story in the presence of the grain buyers who were working for the Empire, as far as we know. And at no point will the Empire send anyone after him for telling that story. I do like it when stories point out how much they do not work.
Write It, And Keep It: 157
S Write It, And Keep It: 157
Brom does not take kindly to the word “story”:
“Story!” roared Brom. Lightning flashed in his eyes. “If it is a story, then the rumors of my death are true and you are speaking with a ghost! Respect the past; you never know how it may affect you.”
Well, that was very rude and uncalled-for. Let me see…:
1) Brom, why do you immediately assume that Eragon meant to insult you? Maybe you should not assume bad faith at once. And, going from the context, I do not see Eragon as trying to insult Brom at all.
2) What is so insulting about the word “story”? It simply means something like “a narration of events”, and it says nothing about whether the events described in it have actually happened. And earlier in this very book, we have multiple instances of “story” being used for true events. So, Brom, you are just looking for an excuse to yell at Eragon.
3) “Rumors of my death”? Do give us more information, Brom. Why are you so well-known that there have been rumours about you dying? And of course Eragon does not wonder about this.
The Seams Are Showing: 32
S The Seams Are Showing: 33
4) I do find this “respect the past” message rich coming from Brom, given that he has already told two stories that are quite blatant propaganda. And in what way has Eragon disrespected the past? Can you tell me that, Brom?
5) Lightning flashes in Brom’s eyes?? He surely must be using magic, then! Seriously, it is severely out of place, and much too silly for the situation.
Connection Has Failed: 29
S Connection Has Failed: 34
6) Also:
Some Father You Are: 20
S Some Father You Are: 22
After this, Eragon waits until “Brom’s face mellow[s]” before he dares to ask his next question. That question is how large the dragons were.
We are told that a “dark plume of smoke” swirls above Brom “like a miniature thunderstorm”. A great simile to use here. It almost seems like a representation of the cartoon cloud above characters’ heads to indicate they are angry.
Come to think of it, very considerate of Brom to smoke in a close space without any kind of ventilation. I am surprised Eragon has not been complaining yet.
Look Away: 205
S Look Away: 212
Some Father You Are: 21
S Some Father You Are: 23
Brom answers “[a]round the pipestem”. What a lovely passive-aggressive gesture. The Knopf edition deletes this part, by the way. He says that they were “larger than a house” (not that that is very helpful), that “even the small ones” had “wingspans over a hundred feet” (30,48 metres), and “they never stopped growing.” He says that some of “the ancient ones, before the Empire killed them, could have passed for large hills.”
Oh dear, let me see… Yes, the information on their size is roughly accurate, and it does make sense that they do not stop growing. After all, some other large reptiles, like crocodiles, never stop growing either. And, either way, why would they not?
And I see that we are back to the “Galbatorix killed the dragons” fable. No, that does not make sense now, either.
Write It, And Keep It: 158
S Write It, And Keep It: 158
Also, the Empire could not have killed any dragons because it did not exist yet! It only came to existence after the Fall of the Riders. This only makes me believe this story less.
Write It, And Keep It: 159
S Write It, And Keep It: 159
Finally, I know that several people have complained on this point because this would apparently mean that the dragons would have eaten Alagaësia into extinction. I would direct them to this quote from Inheritance:
Was he the largest dragon ever?
Ever? No. But at the time, yes.
How did he find enough to eat?
At that age and at that size, dragons spend most of their time in a sleeplike trance, dreaming of whatever happens to capture their fancy, be it the turning of the stars, or the rise and fall of the mountains over the eons, or even something as small as the motion of a butterfly’s wings. Already I feel the lure of such repose, but awake I am needed and awake I shall stay.
~Inheritance, Chapter 49, “Amid the Ruins”
This also fits with what we will see of the dragon Vêrmund in the WormFork book: he spends most of his time apparently asleep, and with intervals of several months, he takes some animals. That seems far from “eating Alagaësia into extinction” to me. Yes, there are enough errors in this book, but there is no need to think them up where they are not.
At this, “[d]ismay [sweeps] through Eragon”. Yes, this is the start of another of Paolini’s nice writing habits: very bad emotional description. The characters often seem to undergo the emotions, rather than feel them, and “X swept through Y” is quite common for this, as it occurs 9 times in this construction, of which most occurrences are in Inheritance.
Paoclichés: 5
S Paoclichés: 9
PPP: 128
S PPP: 166
Eragon panics, asking how he can hide Saphira in the coming years, even if does show her to Roran and Garrow. He says that an animal that large cannot go unnoticed, and ends with “It’s impossible!” Naturally, the Knopf edition cuts this down to “How can I hide her in the coming years”. Way to remove the relatable moment. Eragon “rage[s] silently”, but manages to keep his voice calm as he asks when dragons matured.
Brom scratches his chin, and says that they could not breathe fire “until they were around five to six months old” (so that would be around March or April of the next year). He says that that was “about when they could mate.” Hmmm. I think I will put this off to Corneille Noire in chapter 16/17. I have talked enough already, and I will have much more to say.
The older the dragon was, the longer they could breathe fire. Some of them could keep going “for minutes”. Brom blows a “smoke ring” and watches it float to the ceiling.
Eragon waits a bit, but Brom “seem[s] content” to let him keep asking questions. So he thinks of Saphira and makes his statement. Why do we have to note that he thinks of Saphira? I would think she is constantly on his mind anyway. Also, the Knopf edition deletes this part. Anyway, what he says is this: “I heard that their scales shone like gems.” Good job of not raising suspicion, Eragon!
Brom “lean[s] forward and growl[s]” his answer. Ah, there is one of Paolini’s favourite dialogue tags, which he uses whether or not it exactly works in context. I will tally the latter occurrences. Let me see… A point for chapter 3, where Garrow “growls” that the rumours of Urgals cannot be true because he has not seen them with his own eyes, and one for here.
Paoclichés: 7
S Paoclichés: 11
As with Garrow, it makes Brom come across as needlessly aggressive. Brom says that Eragon “heard right.” He explains that they “came in every color and shade”, and “it was said” (citation needed) that “a group of them looked like a living rainbow, constantly shifting and shimmering.” He goes on to ask Eragon who told him this.
I see we have come to one of the more infamous parts of this series: the sparkling dragons. Yes, I agree that it makes little sense for the wild dragons to sparkle. In fact, I would say that it is/was exclusively a Rider dragon thing. Here are some points:
1) When we see Vêrmund, a dragon who existed before the Riders, we see that his scales do not sparkle.
2) There is also Shruikan, whose scales do not sparkle, either. Yes, we have been told that he was stolen as a hatchling, but that makes very little sense, and I think it quite likelier that Galbatorix received Shruikan from the wild dragons than that he managed to steal a dragon from the Riders’ headquarters.
3) Why would there be so many colours in wild dragons, anyway? Yes, colour differences certainly are a thing, but an entire rainbow? That seems unlikely to have occurred in the wild to me.
4) In fact, it reminds me of certain animals kept as pets, where they are bred for their extravagant colours. I have the idea that something like this may have happened too, and that bright colours and sparkling eventually became a beauty standard for the Rider dragons.
Manual Patch Job: 39
S Manual Patch Job: 40
Eragon realises Brom has called him out, and, at least in the self-published edition, he thinks I can’t tell him the truth…. And why not? What will happen if he tells Brom the truth? Will Brom sell him out to the Empire or tell it to the people in Carvahall? Why should Eragon doubt Brom’s intentions? Yes, he probably did not come here thinking he would tell Brom about Saphira, but still, Brom is his best choice at the moment. After all, he actually knows something about dragons, and he probably would not panic at the revelation, either. So why not tell him?
And Eragon will only tell him much later, so it cannot be the shock of being found out, either. My best guess is that Brom cannot know this and intervene because we need to get to later plot points.
The Seams Are Showing: 33
S The Seams Are Showing: 34
But it could have been done much more seamlessly. Just show us why Eragon does not want to tell Brom! But no, we are stuck with Eragon deciding this for no adequately explained reason.
Ill Logic: 81 (this is a quite serious decision not to explain)
S Ill Logic: 93
Eragon freezes “for a second”, than says that it was “[a] trader”.
Brom asks what the trader’s name was. Um, why would Eragon know that? I did not exactly get the impression that he is on first-name basis with most of them. If Brom wanted to find out, why does he not ask what the trader was trading in? I would think he could identify most of the traders that way.
Brom’s eyebrows meet “in a thick white line”, and the wrinkles on his forehead deepen. His pipe smoulders out. Two things:
Brom’s hair is apparently white, despite it being described as “silver” earlier. In fact, we will get two mentions of his “white head” later on. So it seems the earlier description was simply wrong.
Write It, And Keep It: 160
S Write It, And Keep It: 160
Also, why is Brom so suspicious? Why would it be so strange for a trader to know things about dragons? I think that would be quite common knowledge, especially this. Krovogon only died sixteen years ago, so there are plenty people alive who could have seen him and his sparkly scales. True, it makes sense from Brom to think this, as he is convinced that Galbatorix censors everything concerning the Riders, but since we are supposed to take him at face value, it feels off.
Connection Has Failed: 30
S Connection Has Failed: 35
Eragon pretends to think. He says that he does not know, and that the trader “was talking in Morn’s”, but he never found out who he was. Brom “mutter[s]” that he wishes that Eragon had.
Eragon quickly adds that the “trader” said that “a Rider could hear his dragon’s thoughts”. He hopes that the trader “[will] protect him from suspicion.” Which it rightly should. Brom is quite suspicious, though. He narrows his eyes, and begins messing around with his pipe again. I have had quite enough of that by now.
Get to the Point Already: 7
S Get to the Point Already: 12
The self-published edition notes that he puts the pipe back in his mouth… only he has never taken it out!
S Continuity Fluidity: 94
He takes out a tinderbox and strikes the flint. The self-published edition notes that “[a] cascade of sparks” falls onto the “tobacco”.
S Connection Has Failed: 36
S Continuity Fluidity: 95
Smoke rises, and he takes “a long pull, exhaling slowly.” The Knopf edition inserts a comma after “rose”, and notes that he takes the pull from the pipe. He takes on a “flat voice”, and says that the trader was wrong. It is not in “any of the stories”, and he knows them all. He asks if the trader said anything else. Good to see Brom is just as bad at lying as his son.
Case in point, the next paragraph opens with Eragon thinking Why don’t I believe you? Um, I think that is because Saphira has made mental contact with you, which, in turn, should make it quite clear that Brom is lying about this? But, again, there is no follow-up.
S The Seams Are Showing: 35
Also, I think we know he is being suspicious already. We do not have to have it pointed out to us.
S Thanks for Explaining: 11
The Knopf edition deletes this thought, by the way, which is for the best. Eragon shrugs, and says no. He notes that Brom’s too interested in the “trader” to keep it up. He decides to ask if dragons lived very long.
Brom is in reminiscence mode by now, so he does not react at once. His “chin [sinks] to his chest” and he taps his pipe “thoughtfully”. Eragon asks his question again, and Brom shifts in his chair. His ring “reflects light off his finger”. The Knopf edition cuts down on this, and goes from Brom tapping his pipe to light reflecting “off his ring.” Anyway, it is a nice moment.
He says he is sorry, with a comma splice.
S PPP: 167
The Knopf edition cuts this down to “sorry”. He says that “[his] mind was elsewhere.” Hmm-hm. He explains that, yes, “a dragon will live for quite a while, forever in fact, as long as it isn’t killed and its Rider doesn’t die.”
The Knopf edition inserts a comma after “forever”, which is slightly better, but still does not exactly work well, as the sentence seems to have a comma splice after “while”.
PPP: 129
S PPP: 169
I would rewrite this as “Yes, a dragon will live for quite a while. In fact, it will do so forever, as long as it isn’t killed and its Rider doesn’t die.”
Regarding the content… Yes, it is quite obvious that dragons die when they are killed. Though with the Eldunarya, they can be killed, in a sense, and still live, so…
The second part is quite confusing. I think Brom says that dragons are immortal as long as their Rider does not die, which 1) does not make sense, and 2) ignores the wild dragons.
What Dragons?: 190
S What Dragons?: 190
I have seen some people take this to mean that the dragons die when their bonded partner dies, which I honestly cannot see from what Brom says. I can only interpret it as saying that the dragons are no longer immortal when their Rider dies… which is in blatant contradiction to dragons surviving in their Eldunarí after their Rider has died, like Umaroth.
Write It, And Keep It: 161
S Write It, And Keep It: 161
Anyway, this is very confusing, and needlessly so.
PPP: 130
S PPP: 170
Eragon objects to this, asking how anyone would know this. I do appreciate Eragon’s factchecking mood here, but I think the answer is quite obvious: because this was true, and there is evidence of that. He says that “if dragons die when their Riders do, they could only live to be sixty or seventy.”
The self-published edition has a comma after Eragon’s dialogue tag, which I am quite certain should not be there.
S PPP: 171
On to what he actually says.
First, where are you getting the idea from that dragons die when their Riders do? As I have just said, I simply cannot see that interpretation. Second, I know that that sixty to seventy years would be a reasonable life expectancy in some kind of pseudo-medieval world like this, but there would also be people who were older than that.
Now I can formulate a problem I have with this: it does not feel like Eragon has heard many tales from Brom before. He is simply too close-minded for that. Should he not be used to stories about people living very long? Come to think of it, why is this the first time that he has asked any of this? Yes, yes, plot convenience, but still, it feels off.
Connection Has Failed: 31
S Connection Has Failed: 37
The Seams Are Showing: 34
S The Seams Are Showing: 36
Eragon starts to mention something from Brom’s story, but he hesitates, “stop[s] himself from saying story” and picks “narration” instead. This edition also has an unnecessary comma, as “You said during your narration” is the independent clause.
S PPP: 172
The Knopf edition replaces this by an ellipsis, which I think is quite more effective, and deletes this comma. Anyway, Eragon says that Brom mentioned during his story that “Riders lived for hundreds of years” (no, he did not; he only said they were immortal), but that is “impossible”, according to him. I can kind of see this, as he is worried that this will happen to him, too, but it also comes across as rather close-minded to me.
The self-published edition says that he “[h]as wondered about this” (when? why could we not see this?), and he asks if his “own life” will be extended because of Saphira. Well, maybe; it might as well be cut short, because all kinds of people are coming after you. Beyond that, this feels like more hand-holding.
S Thanks for Explaining: 12
Both editions tell us that he is troubled to think of “outliving his family and friends.” Might be nice to see some more of this, given that he does not exactly seem to care about this later in the series.
Brom “quiet[ly] smile[s]” as he answers “slyly”. And, well, you just have to see the first part of his answer:
“What is possible is subjective. Some would say that you cannot travel through the Spine and live, yet you do. It’s a matter of perspective. You must be very wise to know so much at such a young age.”
No, damn you! This is not how any of this works, Brom!
Alright, let me explain. I frankly do not know where to even begin…. Well, let me do it sentence by sentence, then.
What is possible is subjective.
No, it is not. The laws of nature do not stop existing when you do not believe in them. True, some things can or cannot be achieved, depending on the circumstances, but certain things simply can never be achieved. If the universe that Alagaësia is in looks like mine, for example, then information cannot travel faster than light, energy cannot be created from nowhere, and nothing can be cooled to below absolute zero, for instance. And no amount of “changing your perspective” can do anything about that. Yes, you can redefine your terms; you could say that a shadow is “information”, for example. But that does not change anything about the laws themselves.
Some would say that you cannot travel through the Spine and live, yet you do.
Well, then the people who say that are plain wrong. Their beliefs simply do not line up with reality. And we can quite clearly see that Eragon does not drop dead right now, nor is his past retconned so he never was in the Spine. It is almost reality simply exists in a single way, regardless of anyone’s beliefs.
It’s a matter of perspective.
It is not with facts. Eragon’s life does not change depending on the perspective that is used, and neither does whether or not goes into the mountains. Nor is the lifespan of the Riders dependant on the perspective. And, to pull this back to Brom’s story from earlier, neither is the harm the elves dealt on the dragons. Yes, it is a matter of perspective whether it was justified, but that it happened is not.
You must be very wise to know so much at such a young age.
And you do not need to be young to spew such ridiculous nonsense, as Brom shows. And yes, Eragon was not justified in saying that the Riders could have impossibly been so old, but there is no need to drag his age into this.
Some Father You Are: 22
S Some Father You Are: 24
Eragon flushes and his “brow furrow[s]”. Brom chuckles (which is also a dialogue tag), and tells Eragon “Don’t be angry, you can’t be expected to know such things.”
S PPP: 174 (one for the dialogue tag, one for the comma splice)
The Knopf edition has this slightly different. There, Eragon only flushes, Brom chuckling is put in that sentence, and the comma splice has been resolved.
Let me look at what we have. I do not have a problem with Eragon’s reaction. I do have a problem with Brom’s. First of all, I really do not like that he chuckles at Eragon’s discomfort.
Some Father You Are: 23
S Some Father You Are: 25
I do not really mind Brom’s answer in the self-published edition, as Eragon does seem angry there. I do mind it in the Knopf edition, where we only get him “flushing”, which might as well mean that he is embarrassed. And, in that case, I get the idea that Brom is simply assuming how Eragon feels, which does not help with the condescending tone.
Some Father You Are: 24
Brom gets to explaining. He says that Eragon forgets “that the dragons were magical”; they affected everything around them “in strange ways”. The Knopf edition replaces the semicolon with an em-dash. The Riders “were closest to them” and so experienced this the most. I think that was specifically because they were magically bonded, but whatever. The “most common side effect” was an “extended life”. I am quite certain that that is standard. Yes, it is “the most common” effect, then, but the phrasing is still off.
PPP: 131
S PPP: 175
This also tracks, given that dragons are immortal, or at least, very long-lived. Brom says that Galbatorix (“our King”)—
S PPP: 176
—has lived long enough “to make that apparent”, but “most people” attribute that to his “magical abilities”. Do you have evidence for that, Brom? Why would it not be common knowledge that this is because he is a Rider?
Ill Logic: 82
S Ill Logic: 94
Write It, And Keep It: 162
S Write It, And Keep It: 162
The Knopf edition amends this to note that those people think it is because of Galbatorix’s “own” magical abilities.
He says that there were also “other, less noticeable things that occurred.” The Knopf edition amends this to “changes”, which flows much better. He says that all the Riders were “stronger of body, keener of mind, and truer of sight than normal men.” I would hardly say that these are “less noticeable” than immortality. After all, immortality takes some time to become apparent, while these are so immediately.
PPP: 132
S PPP: 177
These changes also support my theory that the Riders get these attributes by becoming more dragon-like. They would be immortal because the dragons are immortal, after all. Greater strength also fits, as the dragons would be much stronger in absolute terms. Good eyesight is also not unexpected, as several animals have greater visual acuity than humans do.
I am suspicious of the “keener mind”, though. That would imply that the wild dragons were generally more intelligent than humans, which… does not seem very likely to me. It also looks suspiciously like propaganda to me, like “the Riders were more intelligent than others, so naturally they should rule Alagaësia”.
Manual Patch Job: 42 (one for this, one for what people in the Empire would know about the dragons, and one for humans taking on attributes of dragons)
S Manual Patch Job: 43
Write It, And Keep It: 167
S Write It, And Keep It: 167
Oh, and Brom does not mention that all of the elves have experienced these changes, and that this only happened to humans.
He continues to explain that human Riders “would slowly acquire pointed ears, thought they were never as prominent as an elf’s.” Because of course the human Riders would become more elf-like. Yes, it does make sense, as the elves were part of the Riders long before humans were, and so the human Riders would acquire traits from both dragons and elves, but still… It feels to me like a blatant attempt to have more elven influence in the story.
The Perfect Sparkly Ways of Elfdom: 140
S The Perfect Sparkly Ways of Elfdom: 140
Eragon freaks out at this, and has to stop himself from feeling “the tips of his ears.” He wonders how else “this dragon” will change his life. He says that she has not only “gotten inside [his] head”, but now she is “altering [his] body as well!” Hold on there, Eragon. Saphira is not doing anything of this. These things happen because of the bond of the Riders. If you must blame anyone, Saphira is not it. And yes, I know he is not exactly thinking clearly now, but it does bother me that he immediately assumes Saphira is “doing” this.
In the self-published edition, he wonders if “these problems” will ever end. That would work better if we actually saw him thinking on these problems for more than a paragraph at a time. Still, I can sympathise with him; knowing that all this will happen to you is quite much.
Reaction, Please: 40 (for Eragon’s general lukewarm reaction throughout this chapter)
S Reaction, Please: 40
He is apparently “[s]ubdued” by this. I do not know why; I would rather expect him to be nervous about this or something. The Knopf edition also deletes this part. Eragon now asks if dragons “were [] very smart”.
Brom immediately yells at him, asking if he did not pay attention to what Brom had told before. Well, maybe he can have legitimately forgotten! You have told him quite a lot, after all.
Some Father You Are: 25
S Some Father You Are: 26
He rhetorically asks how they elves could have made “agreements and peace treaties with dumb brutes”, before stating that dragons were just “as intelligent as you or I.” Well, Brom, to answer your question, I think that the elves could have tried to make those agreements on the dragons’ level. Indicating which territory would be theirs and which would be the dragons’ could go quite a long way.
I also have to say that I do not like the phrase “dumb brutes” here.
Use ‘Em As You Will: 22
S Use ‘Em As You Will: 22
Here comes Eragon’s response:
S: “But they were animals,” persisted Eragon, trying to convince himself that it was so.
K: “But they were animals,” persisted Eragon.
1) And so are you. Yes, I know how you mean this, but I do not believe that this has any relevance to whether or not they can have human-like intelligence.
2) And why are you trying to convince yourself of this? So that you do not have to treat Saphira like an actual person, like someone with needs and wants that you need to consider, like someone who needs to be respected? I can only think that that is the reason for him trying to convince himself so strongly.
Hell-Bound Partners: 65
S Hell-Bound Partners: 65
And this is also supported by something in the next chapter, where he is “apprehensive” that Saphira is an “equal”. Totally sounds like he was respecting her from the beginning, does it not?
3) Of course, I am convinced that the main reason for his reaction is that he does not want to acknowledge that other animals in general might be anything like humans, so he does not have to change his treatment of them. I have encountered this attitude more than enough already, after all. And this would not be a problem, if this series, which supposedly has as one of its themes “respect for nature”, would show any kind of awareness of this. But it does not. Yes, Eragon does develop a better attitude about this, but it does not seem to have been done deliberately in any way.
4) For that matter, I have to say that both Eragon being freaked out specifically by Saphira using language and the focus on intelligence here ring quite true to me. And it is quite clear that the book indicates that, since the dragons can use language and are intelligent, they are equals. Except that, in Eldest, where we meet an “intelligent” animal who is using language, he is treated absolutely horribly, so I am quite sure that the issue is species rather than language or intelligence. But Corneille Blanche will have to talk about that, then. Also:
Use ‘Em As You Will: 25
S Use ‘Em As You Will: 25
What I will note now is that this series is really good at capturing some issues, like the attitudes toward the dragons, what propaganda looks like, and the racism towards the Urgals, but it is very bad at challenging them. It is like a mirror that reflects the background radiation of the environment it was written in, and what it reflects is often more interesting than what is actually there.
5) Last, the change in the Knopf edition makes Eragon only look more stubborn. Well done!
And let us look at Brom’s response, too, while we are at it. It will be… interesting.
Brom snorted. “They were no more animals than we are.
Oh, for the love of…
Use ‘Em As You Will: 26
S Use ‘Em As You Will: 26
I do not have much more to say about this, other than that this falls quite flat when the wild dragons are constantly looked down upon.
S: For some reason people praise everything the Riders did, yet forget their mistakes and ignore the dragons, assuming that they were nothing more than an exotic means to get from one town to another.
K: For some reason people praise everything the Riders did, yet ignore the dragons, assuming that they were nothing more than an exotic means to get from one town to another.
Hoo-boy. I think I will begin with the slight change between the editions. That has been rightly cut, as in the later books, there is criticism of the Riders, though it only goes skin-deep, and there is a consensus that they need to do better than them.
As for the things that have stayed the same, though… Brom’s comment is very much on-point, and the reason I know this is that this exact same thing will happen throughout the series! Always the dragons will be ignored in favour of the other characters and always will their role in events be downplayed. And “an exotic means to get from one town to another” fits their role in this story quite well.
Also, Brom? I think the reason why is quite clear: the Riders treated the dragons as if they were “an exotic means of travel”, so that also bled over into storytelling.
Other than that, though, this just feels so… strange. It seems like a clumsy attempt at lampshading how much this series ignores the dragons… only we are in chapter six of the first book, and we have barely seen that! It is only apparent with hindsight! And the series will go on to prove this quote right! It is almost surreal.
Okay, this might not be the best place to deploy this, but I cannot see this as other than a lampshade/attempt to deflect criticism, even though it cannot be, so here is Backpedal Lip Service, courtesy of lady_fofa.
Backpedal Lip Service: 1
S Backpedal Lip Service: 1
This will go for every time where Paolini tries to backpedal on the stuff in these books, but fails to follow through.
They weren’t. The Riders’ great deeds were only possible because of the dragons.
What is more, the Riders themselves were only possible because of the dragons. Not that they will ever receive recognition for that.
Backpedal Lip Service: 2
S Backpedal Lip Service: 2
S: How many men would draw their swords if they knew a giant fire-breathing lizard would soon be there to stop the violence? Hmm?”
K: How many men would draw their swords if they knew a giant fire-breathing lizard—one with more natural cunning and wisdom than even a king could hope for—would soon be there to stop the violence? Hmm?”
So their “great deeds” were often achieved by their dragons scaring people into submission, or attacking with overwhelming force. Well, I had not expected such a frank admission. Wow.
And when would they do this, exactly? Was this standard practice? Given that they immediately tried to wipe the Urgals out, I can only think that it was. And nowhere will this be brought up again. Never.
Look Away: 255
S Look Away: 262
Six chapters into the first book, and already I swear that the Riders should never have existed.
Regarding the actual question, I do not think that many people would draw swords against dragons, as they would be utterly ineffective. On a less literal interpretation, I can see people stand up against the Rider dragons, as they also did, according to Domia Abr Wyrda. On the other hand, though, I can see people deciding not to fight, as it might, for example, only bring down the wrath of the Riders on their heads. Not that I blame those people, mind, as it would be a quite difficult situation to get out of.
Anyway, on to the things that he says about the dragons. I have to say that only defining them on the way they served the Riders, and on how they crushed violence, at that, is a rather backhanded way of complimenting them!
Backpedal Lip Service: 7
S Backpedal Lip Service: 7
The addition in the Knopf edition does not improve things much, as it does nothing to change its context. It also feels especially like a clumsy edit to try to mitigate criticism. Regarding the content, that would certainly be nice to see more of. And the one time we hear about a dragon who used this cunning, we get this:
Enduriel always was overly permissive. It was his dragon who was the cunning one; Enduriel merely did as he was told.…
~Inheritance, Chapter 45, “The Sound of His Voice, The Touch of His Hand”
This seems to me more like “Enduriel was such a dupe that he let Thelhá order him around”, and less like “Thelhá was cunning, unlike Enduriel”.
Backpedal Lip Service: 8
Yes, I know this is coming from Galbatorix, and he is supposed to be in the wrong, but still.
Well, Brom blows another smoke ring and watches it drift away. Eragon… has pretty much no reaction at all to being told all of this.
Reaction, Please: 41
S Reaction, Please: 41
He asks if Brom “ever [saw] one”. I am quite certain that should be “Have you ever seen one?”, as Shruikan is still alive.
PPP: 133
S PPP: 178
Brom’s reply… well, you just have to see this.
S: “Nay,” said Brom, “it was long before my time. Something I would rectify if given the choice.”
K: “Nay,” said Brom, “it was long before my time.”
As Brom: “Shruikan, the dragon who is currently alive, was long before my time! And so are the dragons of the Forsworn, of whom at least five were alive twenty years ago!”
So apparently Paolini did bother to patch Shruikan not being mentioned earlier, but not this utterly bizarre bit here. And even if we leave out Shruikan, Brom would have to be younger than Eragon for this to work. Or he should be a time-traveller from the future. Where does this plot hole even come from? What was Paolini’s idea? That the dragons of the Forsworn died with the Fall?
What Dragons?: 191
S What Dragons?: 191
And also, Brom, you can easily rectify this by going to Galbatorix’s court! Yes, that would probably be a death sentence, but maybe you could ask to be killed by Shruikan?
S Ill Logic: 95
PPP: 143 (a quite severe continuity break)
S PPP: 188
Something like “Nay, the Riders were long before my time, and I have no love for the Forsworn and their dragons” would work much better.
Eragon has literally no reaction to this utter absurdity.
Reaction, Please: 46
S Reaction, Please: 46
Instead, he decides to go for a name. He says that he has been trying to remember the name of “a certain dragon”, but it “keeps eluding [him]”. He thinks that he heard it when the traders were “in town”, but he is not certain. He asks Brom if he can help. After all, going with another transparent cover story is the best thing to do.
Ill Logic: 83
S Ill Logic: 96
Not that Brom is suspicious this time. I think we need to get on with the story.
The Seams Are Showing: 35
S The Seams Are Showing: 37
He just shrugs and quickly lists “a stream of names”. The self-published edition has this as a dialogue tag.
S PPP: 189
And let us see what those names are:
“There was Jura,
Ah, just like the mountain range in France and Switzerland!
A Better Commando Name: 4
Hírador, and Fundor—who fought the giant sea snake.
Not much to say on the first name. Regarding the second… I do have some things to say. First off, I am quite certain that the “giant sea snake” is a Nïdhwal, who are basically fantasy plesiosaurs. Second, in Inheritance, we learn that the bay east of Carvahall, which Ceunon is located on, is called the Bay of Fundor. I would say that a Nïdhwal had found its way into the bay at some point, so Fundor fought and killed it, and the bay was named in his honour.
Manual Patch Job: 43
S Manual Patch Job: 44
And of course Fundor had to fight the Nïdhwal. After all, the Riders, with all their magical prowess, could not possibly have chased it away.
Murdered by the Convocation: 5
S Murdered by the Convocation: 6
Regarding the name, I want to make this comparison: Bay of Fundy :: Bay of Fundor. Yes, Paolini, ripping off Earth names also gets you points.
A Better Commando Name: 6
On to the next names.
Galzra,
This seems like a clumsy restructuring of “garjzla” to me.
A Better Commando Name: 7
Briam,
Ah yes, “Brian” but with an “m”.
A Better Commando Name: 8
Ohen the Strong,
This one is fine. I do want to note that a “guidebook” which came along with this series tries to claim that Ohen was a human instead of a dragon. Sloppy, sloppy.
Gretiem, Beroan, Roslarb….”
Not much to say here, other than to note that nearly all of these names have an “r” in them.
Regarding the whole list of names, I do have to note some things. One, I am quite certain that most of these names are of male dragons, as the names of female dragons tend to end on “a” (because of course these names follow rules from Romance languages, for no real reason). That would mean that there are 2 female names out of 9.
No-Wave Feminism: 30
S No-Wave Feminism: 36
Two, we will never learn anything more about them. Only Fundor gets some information as to why they were famous, but the rest gets absolutely nothing. And they will never be referred to again.
Missing Puzzle Pieces: 165 (five for each of them)
S Missing Puzzle Pieces: 166
What Dragons?: 200
S What Dragons?: 200
Very good for this supposedly “dragon-centric” series. Anyway, Brom lists many more names, and “[a]t the very end”, he adds so softly “[that] Eragon almost [does] not hear, “…and Saphira.”” Hmmm, I wonder what he will decide to name the dragon! I do not mind this, though. Yes, it is a little silly, but given what we will come to know about Brom, it does make sense for him.
He empties his pipe, and asks if the name was among his list. Eragon says that no, he is “afraid not”. The Knopf edition deletes the “no”. The self-published edition notes that “[h]e [can] think of nothing else to ask.” He says that Brom has given him “much to think about”, and it is getting late. Really now? You have not exactly been talking for hours!
PPP: 144
S PPP: 190
He says to Brom that Roran would probably be done at Horst, and he should go back, though “[he’d] rather not.” Brom gets suspicious of this, asking of this is it, and saying that he expected to keep answering Eragon’s questions “until [Roran] came looking for [Eragon].” He asks if that is everything that Eragon is interested in. “No queries about dragon battle tactics or requests for descriptions of breathtaking aerial combat?”
No, of course not. After all, who would want to hear about the dragons?
What Dragons?: 201
S What Dragons?: 201
He asks if they are done. Eragon laughs that he is done “[f]or now.” He says that he “learned what he wanted to, and more.” I am quite sure that the comma after “to” should not be there.
S PPP: 191
The Knopf edition deletes it. Also, good job on not being suspicious, Eragon!
Ill Logic: 84
S Ill Logic: 97
He gets up and Brom follows. The latter “usher[s] Eragon to the door”, as he says “Very well then”. There should be a comma after “well”.
S PPP: 192 (The Knopf edition fixes this)
He wishes Eragon goodbye, which the self-published edition spells with a hyphen.
S PPP: 193
He says “take care”, and tells Eragon to report to him if he remembers the trader. Huh, Brom actually wants to check this. Eragon promises that he will, and the self-published edition has a comma splice.
S PPP: 194
It also notes that Eragon opens the door. He steps into “the glaring winter sunlight”, and immediately squints. He slowly walks away, “pondering what he [has] heard.” And there the chapter ends.
Other Ending: 4
S Other Ending: 4
Let me see… The chapter in the self-published edition has 3350 words, 377 more than the one in the Knopf edition, for a change of +11,25%
And now the evaluation questions:
What has happened in this chapter?: Eragon talked with Brom for some time. They drank tea, Brom smoked his pipe in an unventilated space, because he is classy like that, and Eragon left again. It is a pure information chapter.
What have we learned in this chapter?: We have learned quite a lot from this: the origins of the dragons, dwarves, Urgals, and humans; the history of the war between the elves and the dragons; more general stuff about dragons; how the Riders were affected by the dragons; and how the Riders dealt with threats. The main problem is that half of the information is either contradicted by the rest of canon, obvious propaganda, or plain nonsensical. So it absolutely fails at its job. I also want to say that its placement is not exactly great, either, as it is quite out of place among the slice-of-life stuff that surrounds it, and we will only get more exposition about the dragons in chapter 16.
How does this affect the characters?: Eragon has a freakout now and then, but it never lasts more than a paragraph, and is immediately forgotten. Brom gets generically Sad at one point. Yes, the emotional reactions are quite buried beneath the load of information.
In general, I would keep this chapter, though I probably would place it elsewhere, and I would insert more emotional reactions.
Well, I will see you in chapter 8, and you will be seeing Fumurti in the next chapter. Until then!
K | S | ||
A Better Commando Name | 8 | 8 | |
All the Isms | 7 | 7 | |
Bullyay | 29 | 30 | |
Murdered by the Convocation | 5 | 6 | |
Perfection is Pure | 3 | 3 | |
Connection Has Failed | 31 | 37 | |
Hell-Bound Partners | 65 | 65 | |
Ill Logic | 84 | 97 | |
Just Drink the Poison | 0 | 0 | |
Look Away | 255 | 262 | |
Manual Patch Job | 43 | 44 | |
No Touchy | 3 | 3 | |
No-Wave Feminism | 30 | 36 | |
Petty Ain’t the Word For You | 57 | 66 | |
RVMP | 41 | 42 | |
Some Father You Are | 25 | 26 | |
Some Teacher You Are | 0 | 0 | |
The Perfect Sparkly Ways of Elfdom | 140 | 140 | |
This is Fine | 48 | 53 | |
Use ‘Em As You Will | 26 | 26 | |
What Dragons? | 201 | 201 | |
Backpedal Lip Service | 8 | 7 | |
Dead Herrings | 60 | 80 | |
Drop It Like It’s Hot | 2 | 2 | |
Forgot the Narrator | 11 | 13 | |
Get to the Point Already | 7 | 12 | |
Just Gonna Stand There | 2 | 5 | |
Missing Puzzle Pieces | 165 | 166 | |
Paoclichés | 7 | 11 | |
PPP | 144 | 194 | |
Continuity Fluidity | 73 | 95 | |
Reaction, Please | 46 | 46 | |
Shine Bright Like a Diamond | 4 | 4 | |
Thanks for Explaining | 3 | 12 | |
Write It, And Keep It | 167 | 167 | |
Cliffhanger Chop | 1 | 2 | |
Mid-Scene Break | 0 | 0 | |
Other Ending | 4 | 4 | |
Protagonist Unconsciousness | 2 | 2 |