pangolin20: Fírnen, a green dragon (Inheritance Cycle)
Scales ([personal profile] pangolin20) wrote2023-06-23 01:47 pm

Eragon: Chapter Five: Awakening (Part II)

Kerlois: Welcome back, everyone! Last time, Eragon became a Rider and we got to see the first day of Saphira’s life. Now it is time for the second half of this chapter, as we will see a summary of the first month of Saphira’s life, and not much else.





We just left off with Eragon leaving Saphira behind in her hut. Now we are told that his “enthusiasm” makes the day pass quickly. “Enthusiasm”? Not “excitement” or “anxiety”? Like, I could understand it if he is excited about Saphira, but is he not also worried about her, as we will see in this same paragraph? It is a quite poor word choice.

PPP: 110

We are told the “mark” on Eragon’s hand is easy to hide (how?), “so he soon stop[s] worrying about it.” So… he stops worrying about it just like that? He stops being disturbed by having a mark placed on him like this? He does not think about the potential effects it may have on him? He can just put it out of his mind like that? My, if only I could do so this easily.

Reaction, Please: 29

Soon, he goes back to the rowan, “carrying sausages he ha[s] pilfered from the cellar.” And why is that necessary, Eragon? Could you not go hunt in the forest, instead of stealing from your supposedly starving family? And also, this seems like a prime way to be suspicious. What if Roran or Garrow finds lots of supplies are missing? How will you explain this, then?

Look Away: 74

Apprehensively, he nears the tree, wondering if “the dragon [is] able to survive outside in winter”. Well, maybe that is something you should have tried to find out before you dropped her outside? I mean, fair, if she would not have been able to survive, he would have seen something in the morning, so I do not blame him, but still.

When he reaches the tree, he sees that his fears are “groundless”. Well, given that we saw Saphira doing just fine in the morning, this is not that much of a surprise. Saphira is perched on a branch, “gnawing on something between [her] front legs”, and she squeaks “excitedly” when she sees him. So cute. Eragon is “pleased” to see she has stayed in the tree, “above the range of large predators”. Um, I am quite certain that eagles also count as large predators, and they could easily reach her. And per chapter 8, we know that eagles also come to this part of Palancar Valley. They would in all probability not attack her, but nonetheless, this statement is not true. I probably should not be this peeved, but I still do not like that he assumes mammals as the default.

Eragon drops the sausages at the bottom of the tree, and Saphira “glide[s] down”. While she “voraciously” eats them (she needs to grew a lot, after all), Eragon takes a look at the shelter. Saphira has eaten all of the meat, but the hut is still intact, and “tufts of feathers” litter the floor. Bad dragon. Eragon is happy with this, as he thinks that “[she] can get [her] own food.” Now, there unfortunately follows a paragraph of bullshit. Let’s go.

It struck him that he did not know if the dragon was a he or a she.

First off, stop equating sex with gender, Paolini! I know it was very likely not done with ill intent, and I know this book was published quite some time ago, but it is still inherently transphobic, for example, and still not a good message to send.

Also, a “he or a she”? I guess intersex folks do not exist, then.

You know what, I will introduce a count to keep track of all this stuff: All the Isms (adapted from the Mists of Avalon spork).

All the Isms: 6

Thirdly, how do you know dragons only have two sexes? For all you know, they might have five sexes, two of which roughly correspond with “male” or “female”, and three of which are “hunter” sexes, which they can switch between at will. Or she might even be, for example, a bilateral gynandromorph (I see that it can occur in lizards, and the dragons in this series are quite clearly lizards, I think it could occur with them too). His brain would probably melt even thinking about it.

Finally, “a he or a she” gives a severe tone clash with the rest of the chapter. Something better would have been “male or female”, or, even better, “he did not know the dragon’s sex.” Just tidy up the wording, and all the problems melt away.

PPP: 111

He lifted and turned it over, ignoring its squeals of displeasure, but was unable to find any distinguishing marks.

And why is this necessary? What does he need this information for? Does whether she is male or female have any bearing on how Eragon should raise her? The answer to those questions is no and nothing. And even if he did find “distinguishing marks” (just say “genitals” already), that still would not necessarily tell him anything useful, because dragon anatomy might not be like anything he has encountered before.

What I want to say with this is that handling Saphira like this is completely unnecessary and, frankly, quite rude and uncalled-for. Eragon literally ignores her protests just to satisfy his curiosity. I can understand being curious, but he might just as easily have used telepathy to try to know more, which would probably yield more results too.

Hell-Bound Partners: 12

It seems like it won’t give up any secrets without a struggle.

I… What should Saphira do, then? She did not choose to be a dragon, Eragon. She does not keep her sex a secret! It is not her fault that she is who she is, Eragon! Maybe you should try adapting to Saphira’s perspective, instead of expecting her to adapt to yours. His sheer self-centeredness here is breath-taking.

Anyway. He spends a “long time” with Saphira. He unties her, puts her on his shoulder, and takes her on a walk through the woods. We are told the “snow-laden trees” watch over them “like solemn pillars of a great cathedral.” That seems quite beautiful, but I just have to nitpick here concerning the word “cathedral”. That is because Eragon cannot have seen a cathedral before, as there are none in the environment of Carvahall and he has never been elsewhere.

Forgot the Narrator: 7

This will get much worse later in Eragon, specifically with cathedrals.

While they are alone there, Eragon shows Saphira what he knows about the forest, “not caring if [she] under[stands] his meaning”, because “[i]t [is] the simple act of sharing that matter[s].” Well, this is genuinely sweet and beautiful. I am somewhat impressed. He continuously talks to Saphira, so he also helps her learn a language, though he does not know it yet. Saphira looks back at him “with bright eyes, drinking in his words.” For some while, he just sets with Saphira in his arms, “watch[ing] [her] with wonder, still stunned by recent events.” So we do get some kind of reaction from Eragon, however weak it may be. Also, I wish we could have stayed here longer, just to see more of their time together. Alas, it is not to be.

Eragon goes back to home at sunset, “conscious of two hard blue eyes drilling into his back, indignant at being left behind.” That night, he thinks about “all the things that [can] happen to a small and unprotected animal.” Finally, a more realistic reaction! And it shows he cares about her to at least some extent. He is tormented by “[t]houghts of ice storms and vicious animals”. I do not think either of them would pose a very credible threat. If there would come an “ice storm”, Eragon should have noticed something before now. And as for “vicious animals”, they would probably be wary of a new animal like Saphira, and even if they did want to nibble on her, they would have a hard time of it, given that her scales form a natural armour. And, of course, Umaroth would never allow her to come to harm. Still, I do not judge Eragon for having these fears. They may be irrational, but then, he does not have to be rational all the time.

It takes “hours” before he falls asleep, and when he does, “[h]is dreams [are] of foxes and black wolves tearing at the dragon with bloody teeth.” Nice nightmares, Eragon. I do have some points on this: One, why are the wolves black? Because black = eeeevil? Second, why only wolves and foxes? As I said before, eagles would make as much sense.

Now we are at sunrise on November 3rd, as “Eragon [runs] from the house with food and scraps of cloth—extra insulation for the shelter.”

1) Stealing again, Eragon? It is especially bad now that he knows Saphira can hunt for herself; he could just let her do so, at least if he told her not to go near the farm.

Look Away: 75

And, at this rate, he ought to be caught quite soon.

2) That em-dash is very poorly placed. I would recommend switching it out with “to be used as”.

PPP: 112

3) The part after the em-dash is entirely unnecessary. We saw in this same chapter that Eragon used rags as insulation for the shelter, so if he gets new rags, we can reasonably assume that they are there to insulate the shelter. And in this same paragraph, we will see Eragon wrap the rags around the hut. This just seems to be there for hand-holding purposes.

Thanks for Explaining: 2

Eragon finds Saphira “awake and safe”, watching the sunrise as she sits high and dry in the tree. Once he sees her, “[he] fervently thank[s] all the gods, known and unknown.” Okay… First, I would like to know what the “known gods” are, then, because we will never get an explanation. Second, why does he thank the “unknown gods”?? How can he thank gods that he knows literally nothing about? Okay, he can utter thanks and maybe it might work out, but there is a very large chance the “unknown” gods turn out to be non-existent. It is, in summary, just very silly.

Straight From Left Field: 18

Saphira goes to the ground as Eragon approaches and “[leaps] into his arms, huddling close to his chest.” Awww. Eragon tells us that the cold has not harmed her, but she seems frightened. She blows “[a] puff of dark smoke”. I wonder what could have startled her; maybe a wolf who walked by, given that she was sitting high up in the tree? To his credit, Eragon immediately sets about reassuring her. He “stroke[s] her comfortingly” and goes to sit with his back to the rowan, “murmuring softly.” He then lets her stick her head in his coat. After some time, she feels safe enough to crawl out of his embrace and onto his shoulder. He feeds her, and then wraps the new rags around the shelter. They play together for some time, but Eragon soon has to return home.

Time skip!

Now there follows a summary of Saphira’s young life. We are told a “smooth routine” is quickly established. Every morning Eragon runs to the tree and “[gives her] breakfast” before hurrying back. So he keeps stealing every morning, and Garrow and Roran keep not noticing.

Look Away: 88 (because he will keep up the stealing for 13 days after the time skip)

And at this point, the only reason I can think of that Garrow and Roran do not notice is that Umaroth prevents them to.

Manual Patch Job: 12

During the day, Eragon quickly does his chores until they are done and he can visit Saphira again. This time, Garrow and Roran do notice his behaviour and ask why he spends so much time outside. What does Eragon do? Does he come up with some kind of cover story, like “I want to hone my hunting abilities”? Haha, no! He “just shrug[s] and start[s] checking to make sure he [is] not followed to the tree.” And do Garrow or Roran follow up? No, not either.

On Eragon’s part, I do not understand at all why he did not come up with some kind of cover story. I even came up with one just above! On Garrow and Roran’s part, I suspect Umaroth.

Manual Patch Job: 13

We are told that “after the first few days”, Eragon no longer worries something will happen to Saphira. Her growth is “explosive”, and she will soon be safe from “most dangers.” In “the first week”, she doubles in size. So that would be November 9th. “Four days later” (so on November 13th), she is “as high as his knee”. By then, she no longer fits inside the hut in the rowan, so Eragon has to build “a hidden shelter on the ground”, which takes him three days. I have no idea why that takes him so long. Maybe he has to be much more careful with smuggling the materials out?

“When [Saphira is] a fortnight old”, Eragon has to let her roam free because she needs so much food. I want to point out an ambiguity in the dates here. If we add up the dates that are previously given: a week, four days and three days, we also arrive at two weeks, which would mean he lets Saphira roam freely when the shelter is just done. What I think was meant is that he began building the shoulder after one week, so it was done on November 12th, and Saphira could still use it for four days, until November 16th.

PPP: 113 (this is quite unclear)

Also, this is the point at which he finally stops stealing. That took him long enough. When he unties her at first, “only the force of his will [keeps her] from following him back to the farm.” Every time she tries to go near, Eragon mentally pushes her away until she learns to “avoid the house and its other inhabitants.” He also tells her how important it is that she only hunts in the Spine, because she will have less chance of being seen there. Also, “[f]armers [will] notice if game start[s] disappearing from Palancar Valley.” Well, they might, but 1) Saphira will mainly take smaller animals at this point, which will not be as conspicuous, and 2) would this be immediately suspicious? Would a wolf not be a much likelier explanation? I get that it is for the best if she hunts in the Spine, but still, this argument does not seem the best to me. We are told that “[it makes] him feel both safer and uneasy” when Saphira is in the Spine.

On to the next topic. The mental contact with Saphira becomes stronger by the day. Though she cannot yet understand words, Eragon finds that “he [can] communicate with [her] through images or emotions.” According to him, it is an “imprecise method”, and he is often misunderstood. Well, Eragon, I have obtained some quite good results with such communication myself. It certainly takes some work if you are not used to it, but it is not in and of itself imprecise. We are told that the range in which they can touch minds “expand[s] rapidly.” Soon, Eragon can contact Saphira “anywhere within three leagues.” That is nine miles (14,48 kilometres). I think it is reasonable to assume this range will also apply later, as it seems roughly consistent with the later books. Eragon often contacts her, and Saphira, in turn, brushes lightly against his mind. These “mute conversations” fill his working hours. And according to Eragon, “[t]here is always a small part of him connected to [Saphira], ignored at times, but never forgotten.” Let’s see how long this will stay the case. When he talks to people, he finds the contact distracting, “like a fly buzzing in his ear.”

On to the next topic. As Saphira grows, “[her] squeaks deepen[] to a roar and the humming [becomes] a low rumble[.]” Two statements, two remarks.

1) How has nobody noticed her roars yet? I can get that the people in Carvahall do not hear it, because they are much too far away, but why have Garrow and Roran not noticed yet? Probably because Umaroth has stuck his talons in their minds.

Manual Patch Job: 14

2) I do not believe at all that her humming becomes a rumble, or at least, I do not believe that she cannot hum anymore. I can find numerous examples of her humming throughout the series, and the first one is in chapter 7 of this very book.

Continuity Fluidity: 58

Eragon says that “yet”, she does not breather fire, which concerns him. Well, just bring her to Brom, then; if you are lucky, he might be able to repair her, and if not, you could get a refund. More seriously, why is Eragon’s thought “hmm, I think there is something “wrong” with her” and not “hmm, I think I have misunderstood some things about dragons”? No idea. Eragon explains that he has seen her blow smoke when she is upset, but “there [is] never a hint of flame.”

The next paragraph begins like this: “When the month ended, Eragon’s elbow was level with the dragon’s shoulder.” Well, that seems like vindication for the calendar, since it says here that “the month” has passed, which could coincide with November ending, while there also must have passed a month, to work with the timeline, and that would mean it is the 2nd of December. The dates do not align perfectly, but it is a good enough fit for me.

Also, the second part would read better as “the dragon reached to Eragon’s elbow”. Same sentiment, a bit clearer.

We are told that “[i]n that brief span”, and I have to say I do not agree that a month is necessarily a “brief span”, especially not in the context of a young animal, “[Saphira has] transformed from a small, weak animal into a powerful beast.” Hmm. I never got the idea he viewed Saphira as “weak”; one of his first thoughts about her was that she was someone to watch out for.

Continuity Fluidity: 59

Also good to see she is now worthy of the epithet “beast”. By now, “[her] hard scales [are] as tough as chain-mail armor, its teeth like daggers.” Ooh, nice!

On to the next topic. Eragon takes long walks in the evening “with [Saphira] padding beside him.” When they reach a clearing, Eragon goes to sit against a tree and watches “[Saphira] soar through the air.” That sounds like it could be beautiful, but again, there is no emotion here. Eragon loves to see her fly and “regret[s] that [she is] not yet big enough to ride.” I get the intended sentiment of the second sentence: flying would be a wonderful experience for Eragon, and it would be a nice way for the two of them to share experiences. But from the way it is written, it feels more like Eragon is sad he cannot ride her yet, without even considering if she wants to.

Hell-Bound Partners: 13

He oftens sits next to Saphira and rubs her neck, “feeling sinews and corded muscles under his hands.” Yes, she is certainly well-muscled, Eragon. Now to follow in her footsteps.

On to the next topic. “Despite Eragon’s efforts” (which efforts?), the forest “fill[s] with signs of [Saphira’s] existence.” He cannot erase “all the huge four-clawed footprints” that are sunk into the snow, and he refuses to try to hide “the giant dung heaps that [are] becoming for too common.”

1) Four-clawed? Reptiles have five fingers per hand, so I would expect Saphira to have that, too. Of course, a reptile evolving to have four fingers per hand is far from impossible, though we never get an explanation, and I would wish this would have some more emphasis. It does, along with her endothermicity, look more like a bird than like a reptile.

2) “Dung heaps” is not the best phrase to use here. It reminds me of cattle, which Saphira most definitely is not.

Anyway. Saphira also rubs against trees, which “strip[s] off the bark”, and she has sharpened her claws on “dead logs, leaving gashes inches deep.” If Garrow or Roran go too deep into the forest, “they [will] discover the dragon.” True enough, but why do you only think about this after a month? He can imagine “no worse way for the truth to come out”, so he decides to “preempt it by explaining everything to them.” Well, good luck with that. I do approve of the sentiment, however late this might be.

Before he does so, he wants to do two things: “give the dragon a suitable name and learn more about dragons in general.” Certainly good things to do, but could you not have done both much earlier? Giving her a suitable name should take considerably less than a month, and you could have taken an excuse to go see Brom earlier, to get information about dragons when it was still more necessary than it is now.

Eragon says that he needs to talk to Brom for that, and he names him as “master of epics and legends—the only places where dragonlore survive[s].” Well, it seems very dubious to me that dragonlore only survives in “epics and legends”, because Shruikan is still alive at this point, and the dragons of the Forsworn survived for a considerable time after the Fall. There should be plenty of people at Galbatorix’s court who know how to take care of dragons; all that knowledge cannot have been lost that easily.

Anyway. “[W]hen Roran [goes] to get a chisel repaired in Carvahall”, Eragon volunteers to go with him.

Time skip!

We are now at “the evening before they leave”, which I will issume is December 3rd, for convenience (one month, plus an extra day to account for Eragon thinking). He goes to a small clearing in the forest and calls Saphira with his mind. After a moment, he sees a “fast-moving speck” in the “dusky sky.” Saphira dives towards him, pulls up sharply, and levels off above the trees. Eragon hears “a low-pitched whistle as air rushe[s] over its wings.” That seems highly implausible to me, because

1) She is a predator, and this is a quite nonsensical adaptation, because it could alert prey to her presence

2) What would even make that noise? Eragon has noted nothing unusual about her wings that could generate this.

3) This will literally never come up again.

So, most likely, this is just a continuity error.

Continuity Fluidity: 60

Saphira slowly banks to Eragon’s left and “spiral[s] gently down to the ground.” As she lands, she back-flaps for balance with a “deep, muffled thwump.” Was there any reason we had to see this sequence in detail?

PPP: 114

Eragon opens his mind, “still uncomfortable with the strange sensation”, and tells Saphira that he will leave. She “snort[s] with unease.” And then this happens: “He tried to soothe it with a calming mental picture, but the dragon whipped its tail, unsatisfied.” Well, just look at how he tries to calm her: he does not tell her that he will be back, that she does not have to worry about him, and that she will be fine. Instead, he just gives her a generic “calming mental picture”. As far as we know, he has not even told her that he will be back. The feeling I get from this is that he is doing this less because he knows she is distressed and wants her to feel better and know he will be back, and more because he personally does not like to see her in distress, and he wants her to stop acting like that.

Hell-Bound Partners: 14

And from that, it is quite clear that he does not actually respect her; he does not empathise with her, and he does not see her as someone with their own needs and wants. Here, he seems to think that if he just stays calm enough, Saphira will also be calm, like her mind is just an extension of his own. And in essence, though he might not mean it as such, he is trying to overwrite her thoughts with his own.

Hell-Bound Partners: 15

Look Away: 89

Well, because this did not have the desired effect, Eragon keeps on: “He rested his hand on its shoulder and tried to radiate peace and serenity.” Well, Eragon, she will hardly become peaceful and serene if she notices that you are trying to force her to be like that. She may be only a month old, but she clearly was uneasy when you only told her that you were leaving, and I am quite certain she can feel you trying to mess with her emotions.

Just for clarification, here is a little script:

(Two friends stand on a street)

Friend One: I am leaving.

Friend Two: I had not heard about this before. Where will you leave to? When and how?

Friend One: (with a broad smile) Everything will be alright. You do not have to worry. Please do not worry. It will all be fine.

Friend Two: What are you talking about?! Can I please get an answer?

Friend One: (grabbing Friend Two by the shoulder) Shoosh. Please stay calm. There is no need to panic. Deep blue ocean. Breathe in, breathe out. Shoosh shoosh shoosh.

This is not respectful behaviour in any way.

Hell-Bound Partners: 16

Look Away: 90

Also, as I indicated above, putting his hand on her shoulder is also not justified. He can try to soothe her perfectly well without doing so, and he also did not give her a chance not to be touched. I could understand if she cannot give her approval in a way that Eragon can understand, but he could at least hold his hand near her and see if she shies away, or look at whether she is uncomfortable with it. From what we see, he does neither.

Hell-Bound Partners: 17

I also think it is time to introduce the count No Touchy, which will go for all the times that the characters touch each other without asking, and without sufficient reason.

One point for now, one retroactive point for flipping her over to determine her sex.

No Touchy: 2

Now we are told that “[s]cales bump[] under his fingers as he pat[s] [Saphira] gently.”

No Touchy: 3

At this point, I would support Saphira if she clawed at him, though Eragon would probably take it as evidence that she is “inherently dangerous” and try to kill her.

Now, Saphira speaks “[a] single word” in his mind, “deep and clear”. The word is Eragon. Ah well, as far as first words go, it is not bad. I could only wish the circumstances would be better.

Eragon describes it as “solemn and sad, as if an unbreakable pact were being sealed.” No, that happened a month ago. He stares at Saphira and “a cold tingle [runs] down his arm.” Saphira speaks his name again. A “hard knot form[s] in his stomach” as “unfathomable sapphire eyes gaze[] back at him.” And now: “For the first time he did not think of the dragon as an animal. It was something else, something… different.”

Well, well. Where do I begin…

1) Eragon, she still is the same being she was before this. The only difference is that she has learned to use verbal language. This is the same thing that happens to human babies all the time, and the same thing that happened to you. So if you think that you should treat her with respect now, and not before this, you should think hard on why exactly that is.

2) To answer my point above, I think I know why this is. I think it is quite telling that in chapter 7, when he sees Saphira again, he thinks of her as an equal, just because she can new speak to him. The feeling I get from this is that Eragon can no longer plausibly deny to himself that Saphira has an inner life and can experience emotions just like himself. Before this, Saphira could only communicate nonverbally. That made it easy for Eragon to categorise her as “just an animal”, and thus as someone who he did not need to consider the feelings of. Even though she could communicate, he was more than willing to dismiss it if it did not fit with what he expected from her, like he did the first morning. And he could also pretend (consciously or not) not to understand her way of communicating, and made no effort to understand her further. Now, however, she can communicate with him in a way he can understand, so he can no longer pretend to himself that Saphira has no actual feelings and emotions. So it seems to me that he uses Saphira’s inability to use verbal language as a means to ignore her actual wants and needs. And now, he cannot do that anymore.

Hell-Bound Partners: 27

Use ‘Em As You Will: 8

3) Even if she cannot speak like a human, that does not mean she does not deserve respect, Eragon.

Almost done. Here is the next portion: “He raced home, trying to escape the dragon. My dragon. Yes, he just races home, and leaves her behind while she still is reasonably upset, and he will not come back for an entire day. Some supportive partner you are.

Hell-Bound Partners: 32

Look Away: 91

Okay, I can see him be freaked out by this, but still, he should at least try to stay around Saphira and tell her that he will be back. This is quite awful of him. Also, what kind of signal would it give to Saphira if Eragon runs away as soon as she uses verbal language? That it is scary and she should not do it again? It might not send that message, but still.

Hell-Bound Partners: 33

And why is Eragon even this scared? Okay, it is unexpected, but running away, specifically to “escape” her? That sounds more like he is afraid Saphira might hold him accountable for how he treated her, not that that will come up again.

Saphira says his name one last time and the chapter mercifully ends. I think this counts as an Other Ending; the chapter may end on a “cliffhanger”, but this chapter was longer than average, so it cannot qualify as a Cliffhanger Chop.

Other Ending: 3

I do not understand why this is supposed to be a cliffhanger, by the way. Yes, Saphira can talk, but the way it is framed fits more with something that is supposed to be shocking and upsetting, and this should be neither. It would be much better if the end of the chapter was something like Eragon playing with Saphira, her saying his name, and him being surprised and proud.

On to the discussion of the chapter in general. I want to use three questions to evaluate this chapter, as well as what may come after this: What has happened in this chapter?, What have we learned in this chapter?, and How does this affect the characters?

What has happened in this chapter?: Eragon has become a Rider, and Saphira his dragon. He has raised her during the first month of her life, and he has decided to reveal her existence. This is certainly enough plot for one chapter, and it would not have been a problem if there had been two chapters devoted to this. That is one of the main problems with this chapter; it feels very rushed-through. The section between the first and second timeskips, for example, is just lots of paragraphs on different topics put together. The end effect of this is that there is very little elaboration on how Eragon and Saphira bond, which should be the main draw of this chapter. It is a waste, really.

What have we learned in this chapter?: We have learned what dragons look like in this world, including the detail that they have four fingers per hand, something that should have been emphasised somewhat more.

How does this affect the characters?: Well, it barely does, which is the other large problem with this chapter. For example: Eragon becomes a Rider, and gets the mark on his palm: he has no reaction to being shocked and stops thinking about the mark as soon as he sees it is easy to hide. And with Saphira, there is almost no emotional reaction from Eragon. He just seems mildly surprised; the most we get out of him is the nightmare he has on the second night. Their relation is also quite bad already; Eragon mainly seems to want her as an exotic pet and does nothing to respect her boundaries.

In general, this chapter was dull and emotionless, when it should have been emotional. But we are done! On to the next chapter, featuring… me! See you then!

Content:

A Better Commando Name: 2

All the Isms: 6


Bullyay: 13
-----Murdered by the Convocation: 4

-----Perfection is Pure: 3

CARS (Clumsy Attempt at Racism Subplot): 0

Hell-Bound Partners: 33

Just Drink the Poison: 0

Look Away: 91

Manual Patch Job: 14

No Touchy: 3

No-Wave Feminism: 28

Petty Ain’t the Word For You: 43

RVMP (Racism Very Much Present): 25

Some Parent You Are: 0

Some Teacher You Are: 0

Straight From Left Field: 18

That’s Not How Any of This Works: 21

The Perfect Sparkly Ways of Elfdom: 0

This Is Fine: 8

Use ‘Em As You Will: 8

What Dragons?: 14

Writing/Style:

Dead Herrings: 60

Drop It Like It’s Hot: 2

Forgot the Narrator: 7

Just Gonna Stand There: 2

Missing Puzzle Pieces: 94

Paoclichés: 2

PPP: 114

-----Continuity Fluidity: 60

Reaction, Please: 29

Shine Bright Like A Diamond: 3

Thanks For Explaining: 2

Cliffhanger Chop: 0

Mid-Scene Break: 0

Other Ending: 3

Protagonist Unconsciousness: 2