Mister Monday: Chapter Thirteen

[pangolin20]

Chapter Twelve | Table of Contents | Chapter Fourteen

Corneille Blanche: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to Mister Monday! Last time, we finally learned what Arthur is supposed to do and our protagonists were busted.

 

We last left off on Noon ordering a Commissionaire to tear or cut off Arthur’s arm. The Commissionaire replies by screwing off his right hand and tucking it into his belt. Then he pulls out another hand, this one with “a single broad blade like a cleaver”. He attaches it to his wrist, and as soon as it fits, it begins to move so very fast that it “be[comes] a blur of steel”.

That is certainly effective, and I still like it! I do wonder if this is a regular part of their equipment… The Commissionaire goes to cut Arthur’s hand off. Arthur cries out, but before anything else happens, the Key “[shoots] out of his hand like an arrow”. It shoots into the Commissionaire’s breastbone, comes out his back and flies back to Arthur’s hand.

Well, that was the Commissionaire dealt with! I like that we actually see that the Key protects Arthur. We could already have guessed that earlier, but it’s just nice to see the Key do something this dramatic. On the other hand… well, it just underlines how little Arthur actually gets to do that the Key bails him out, while he is lying half-conscious on the grass. The one major thing he did of his own accord was going to the House to find a cure for the New Sleepy Plague. Yes, he has certainly done much, but he has never been given the opportunity to do much things he wants.

I just want this book to be as good as the others in the series, but it just is not. When he gets into trouble like this in the other books, it is generally because of something he did himself, but here he just has very little agency. It just irritates me after half of the book!

Either way, there is then a lot of description of the Commissionaire dying. We are first told there is “no blood”. The Commissionaire gets a bit puzzled, stands up and steps back. A sound of “grinding gears” comes out of his chest, and then his coat rips open and a broken spring hangs out. A moment later a “pop-pop-pop” sounds and “a rain of small cogs” falls out of his chest to the ground.

(shakes head) This is too cartoonish to belong in this scene, I find. It is supposed to be a serious scene, but we have the Commissionaire dying with a broken spring from his chest and gears raining out? Come up with something with a bit more gravity, please.

The Commissionaire goes to look at his chest, raises his “normal hand” to touch it, and then freezes. “[S]ilver fluid” leaks from the corners of his eyes and his mouth. That was the end of this Commissionaire, then. I do not think he exactly warranted this extended death scene, but… I am not too bothered.

There is silence for a bit. Arthur looks at the Commissionaire, the Key, and at his enemies. He says there is “no chance to escape”, at least not at the moment. Well, thank you for joining us again, Arthur! He looks at Suzy, but she is laying on her side, facing away from him, so he cannot tell if she is conscious. Great.

Noon frowns at this and tells a Commissionaire Sergeant to send “four of [his] most trusted men” to get the Key. The Sergeant gets ready to do that when Dusk speaks. He has a black tongue and he speaks in a “hoarse whisper”. He says that it is like he suspected: Arthur has “fully bonded” with the Key. So force will not help them, unless Monday wants to “risk the Greater Key against the Lesser?”

Noon gives Dusk a sour look and then looks at Monday, who has fallen asleep on his shooting stick. Monday does not answer the question, though a “faint tic” does appear above his right eye. I think it would be the wisest not the enter a contest of strength, so good on Monday.

Dusk takes this as a “no”, and asks Noon why they should lose more Commissionaire to no avail, especially since Grim Tuesday “charges dear” for new ones. Very sensible. Noon asks what they should try then, since Arthur will not hand it over “willingly, of from fear”, like Noon has tried.

Dusk says that they had best let Arthur keep it, since he does not know how to use it. They should put him somewhere “safe and unpleasant”, and when he has had enough, Arthur will give them the Key! Yes, that is a great plan! It would be even better to bribe Arthur by offering him a cure for the plague… but I do not think Noon would want that, and presumably Dusk knows him well enough not to come up with something like that.

Noon actually agrees with the plan, but asks what place is “safe from the interference of the Will”, since he knows none. Dusk says there is one place that the Will “cannot” or “dare not” go. That place is the “Deep Coal Cellar”, and someone called “the Old One” will not allow the Will to come in there.

Ah, this again. Do we really need to hear about people and places we have never heard about without any explanation? I guess Nix meant to create “mystery”, but it is just confusing instead.

Dawn then speaks; her tongue is “golden”, and her voice “bright and loud”. I do like how they are styled after dawn, noon, and dusk with how they speak (and, of course, Noon’s “silver tongue”). She shivers and says they should not meddle with the Old One.

Dusk says he is chained and has never bothered any of the workers in the Cellar. Dawn asks about what could happen if he gets the Key, because he might just free himself. Considering who the Old One is… I do not find her concerns unreasonable, though they are ill-informed.

Dusk sayas that could never happen, and not even all “Seven Keys together” can free him from his chains. Noon then speaks up, saying that there are often Nithlings in the cellars, “even in the Deep” (I would expect there to be Nithlings especially there, since it is deeper, but what do I know?). If one of them could get the Key…

Dusk asks how they could when they cannot either. Yes, that was frankly a quite stupid question from Noon. He says he has “studied the Keys”, and he knows that, now that it is bonded, it can “only be given, not taken”. It will protect the wielder from “serious harm”, though not wholly from pain and not at all from discomfort. So it would be best to put Arthur in the “darkness and the damp”.

I like how the abilities of the Key make sense here. Making sure that such a mighty object can only be given and not taken is basic stuff, and protecting the wielder is, too. As for why it does not protect the wielder from all pain and not from discomfort… I think that might be to allow the wielder to do things, to let them do things that are uncomfortable.

Dusk says that Arthur will soon realise that “his only way out” is to give them— Monday immediately interrupts, saying that Arthur will give him the Key. Dawn, Noon and Dusk all give him a smile and a bow before Dusk continues. I guess they have grown quite accustomed to this over the years. Dusk says that Arthur will soon realise that he must give Monday the Key.

Monday complains about “[d]elays” and “[d]ifficulties”, but he does think Dusk’s plan is sensible, and tell him to take care of it. For his own part, he is going to take a nap.

Suzy suddenly speaks up, saying that she did not mean to do it, the Will made her, so what about her? Monday completely ignores her. He slowly gets up, leaving the shooting stick behind, and goes toward the elevator. The Commissionaires and Sergeant-Commissionaires salute him and Dawn, Noon and Dusk bow again. The door of the elevator closes behind him and opens immediately again, without Monday in sight.

Suzy keeps pleading, now to Noon. She again says it was not her fault, and even kneels and touches her forehead to the ground, “her fingers scrabbling into the dirt in her distress”. Hmmm, I think this is actually a quite reasonable way to go about this, given how cruel Noon can be. Better to “overdo” how sorry you seem then getting punished for not having enough respect, I would think.

Noon asks where the Will is (good question!). He goes over to Suzy and lifts her by her hair “till she [stands] on tiptoe, grimacing at the pain”. Ouch! This shows well just how petty Noon can be. With setting the library on fire and such, there was at least some justification for it; this is just hurting Suzy because he can. So Suzy says that it left when “the dinosaur came”. It knew a small weirdway out, which was too small for them to use.

Noon asks what it looked like and where the weirdway was. Suzy says that the Will looked like “an orange cat, but with long ears”. It went up a tree and then disappeared. She did not want to do what the Will said, but “it made [her]”…

This is all a quite plausible lie! The Will’s shape and the weirdway would be difficult to check in the first case and not very relevant in the second. The Will’s behaviour is also not very far off from what it has done so far, so well done!

Noon drops her “in disgust” and asks Dawn and Noon if they “want this”. Suzy now manages to smear dirt “all over her face”, which mixes with her tears to make mud. Dawn does not want to. Dusk takes some time to react, and then a “slight smile” crosses his face, so slight that Arthur thinks he has imagined it.

Ah, how nice of you to join us again, Arthur! Good to see he had no reaction whatsoever to what is happening with Suzy. It really would be nice to get more in Arthur’s head, instead of being stuck with the omniscient narrator… Well, Dusk asks if Suzy is “one of that irresponsible Piper’s children” and if she was once a mortal. Suzy says she is, and she is now an Ink-Filler. Dusk says that is an “honorable occupation”, and that she may return to her duties, addressing her by name. First, though, she should wash her face and hands, and the stream looks “convenient” for that.

Suzy gets rightly suspicious at the use of her name, and then gives a bow and stands up. Hmmm, I think Dusk might already know who she is, since she occupies the Efficiencer General’s office… but actually using her name for her is uncommonly kind. Interesting…

Only Dusk and Arthur watch her as she washes her hands in the stream. We are told that Arthur was surprised by Suzy’s “wailing and begging” (then show us that!!), but as she goes to the spot where the Will dived in, he thinks differently. She has her back to the others, which she uses to block what she is doing in the water, which Arthur hopes is retrieving the Will. Not that he expects the Will to be able to do anything here and now.

We then cut back to Noon, who… has just been standing there, I guess? He tells a Sergeant to destroy the office. He takes out a notebook, scribbles something on a page, and gives that to the Sergeant. The Sergeant can use that to “close the picture window”. Dusk then announces that he, along with his Midnight Visitors will take Arthur to the Coal Cellar, and gestures the Visitors forward.

Noon says they will not, as it is his duty and he still has Monday’s “plenipotentiary powers”. Dusk thinks they were only given for the Secondary Realms, and Noon says that that detail was not given “with a bright smile”. He then turns to Arthur, and says that he should come along “in a docile manner”, so Noon will not have to hurt him. After all, Arthur can still get hurt quite badly, “provided we do not try to take the Key”. Never mind that that does not follow from what Dusk was saying…

Either way, everyone completely ignores what he is saying. (closes eyes for a moment) How hard would it be to write in some reaction?

Dusk looks at Dawn, who simply shrugs. She says that Noon “has the right” and she will accompany him. I do not think she would want to go against Noon either way. Come to think of it, I do wonder why she only has the Inspectors. Maybe Noon put her to the side early on?

Dusk acknowledges this and then “click[s] his fingers” and points up. The Visitors bow and wrap their capes around them. Then they stand at attention and rise into the air, disappearing at the level of the treetops. Alright then. I have no idea what this is supposed to be.

Arthur watches them go, then looks back. Dusk has disappeared, too, and Dawn and Noon are still looking at him. Noon asks for his decision. Arthur takes his sweet time to respond, by first looking at Suzy. She has stepped away from the stream but does not look at her, so he cannot tell if she has the Will, and he suddenly gets doubts. What if she only wanted to wash her hands, both literally and of her responsibility to him? Or what if the Will was already gone???

Do you actually believe these things yourself, Arthur? It feels more like a Dead Herring than genuine doubt here. Arthur finally says that he does not have a choice. He gets up and “lift[s] his chin to show that he [is] not afraid”. He will go with Noon. Finally. Also good to see that he has finally got up again, after lying there for half the chapter!

While he is speaking, Arthur looks at Suzy again. She is still “crouched above the stream”, but she looks back at him. …Two paragraphs ago, she had stepped back from it. Either way, Arthur gives her a “very slow, sly wink”. Suzy “tap[s] her throat and cough[s]”. This clearly means she has the Will (do you think?) and Arthur gets comfort from that. It is a “small comfort”, but at least there is a “chance of help”.

Um, why do Arthur and Suzy think it is a good idea to do this obvious “secret” thing in front of Dawn, Noon, and lots of Commissionaires? And why do none of them notice this and act on it? It would work a lot better if Suzy just coughed a bit without Arthur looking. He would understand it anyway, and it would not be nearly as suspicious as this. Still, keeping the characters dumb is it, apparently. (sighs)

Noon gestures and the Sergeants shout orders. A dozen ordinary ones form up around Arthur, so close together and so tall that he can barely look around him. A Sergeant shouts the order to begin the march and the Commissionaires do so. Arthur has to start marching too, “to avoid being crushed or trodden on.” He somehow doubts the Key will protect him from “a bruised foot or rib”. I do think the Key would heal that considerably faster…

Also, would he not dislike feeling like he is getting stepped on either way? It just seems weird that he only seems to want to go forward because the Key will not protect him.

Arthur then talks about how he expects “some of the entourage” to stay behind before they go in the elevator, and he cannot understand how they all come out in the first place. Then he realises that it is a different elevator in the same place!

… We just had this:

The elevator door closed, then almost immediately opened again. There was no sign of Monday inside.

I think this indicates quite clearly that there are multiple elevators in the same shaft. And Arthur should have seen this! What kind of nonsense is this?

Well, the elevator that is there now is many times larger, as large as “the school assembly hall” (of which school?) and very fancy, with “polished wood panelling” on the walls and a “parquetry floor”. In the middle, there is a “brass-railed rotunda” which Noon and Dawn climb into. Everyone else goes to stand in front of it, “as if they [are] on a parade ground”. Arthur gets a last glimpse of Suzy as she is talking to the Sergeant who is to destroy the office. Hmm, I think I can already say how that will go. Then the doors close and the bell sounds.

Arthur thinks this about the situation:

Now Arthur truly felt a prisoner. Alone among enemies.

I certainly like this, but I wish this were not the only thoughts he has here. Could we maybe get some more?

Noon gets out a “speaking tube” and asks the operator for “Lower Ground twenty-twelve”, which is to be done express. The operator says something back, and Noon tells them to reroute it, because he said “express”. The lift suddenly drops quite a bit and throws everyone around.

Then… Noon gets the operator and demotes him for this. This scene is completely unnecessary, since we already know how Noon is. Further, it literally stands in the way of the plot, since Noon has grabbed the operator and they need him to go to the Coal Cellar. It is just a way to pad the book out and I do not like it at all.

Still, I will note some things on it. First, Noon gets the operator by literally pulling him down the phone line! That is interesting! Arthur says it is “impossible for [him] to believe since the tube is no wider than a can of soup”.

Yes, Arthur, I get that may be hard to believe, but it still literally just happened. You can refuse to believe it all you want, but it will have no effect on what is actually happening. I frankly think he sounds like a conspiracy theorist here, and it is not a good look.

That aside, you just went into an elevator that is larger than the shaft it was supposedly in. Why is it so unbelievable for this to happen? Nix shot quite wrong here.

Well, we then get a description of the man. He is “short and fat”, and has a “too long” coat, with a “badly mended back” that brushes the floor. Noon demotes him from Fourth Grade to Seventh Grade.

To do that, he tears out a page from his notebook, which eats all of the man’s clothing. Arthur “shuts one eye”, because he does not really want to see if maybe the “man’s skin start[s] dissolving” or the like. (Because that fits with a demotion? Right.) Instead, the page forms “a simple toga-like robe of off-white” that the operator gets in place of his former clothing.

The operator then says this:

‘You didn’t need to do that as well,’ said the elevator operator with considerable dignity. ‘They were hard-won, those fittings.’

While I admire his courage, I get the feeling that he has no idea that he is talking to Noon, one of the most important people in the Lower House. Why does he think it is a good idea to complain to him about how he lost his clothing? If Noon is so tyrannical as we see him be, he would demote the operator again.

But Noon only tells him not to cause more trouble, and the operator can even get away with “rubb[ing] one knuckle to his forehead in a perfunctory gesture of respect”. Yes, I get that it is nice to have someone stand up to Noon, but this is just nonsense. Finally, the operator lets himself get sucked into the tube and returns to his station.

Noon reiterates where they are to go, which is apparently the “Upper Coal Cellar Entry”. Arthur manages to suppress a shudder at the sound, as he thinks that it is “a long way away from anywhere he [knows]”. As he thinks that, there comes a “wave of negativity”, and he thinks that everything is just too difficult, and he might as well give up. Yes, it is exactly this bland. That really helps with connecting to Arthur, does it not?

The “depressed section of his mind” then asks how he can save everyone from the plague if he cannot even keep himself from being imprisoned. He then tells that part of him to stop it. Suzy and the Will are free, after all, and he has the Key, so there has to be a chance to do something.

The chapter ends there. I do note that this chapter only covered Arthur getting arrested, but it was not very short. Why did this have to be its own chapter?

Well, at least things should improve a bit from here on. Until chapter 16!