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BattleAxe First Read: Chapter Fourteen: Inside the Silent Woman Keep (Part II)
Chapter Fourteen (Part I) | Table of Contents | Chapter Fifteen (Part I)
NRSG: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to BattleAxe! Last time, we met with Ogden and Veremund, and there was much talk, but we learned little.
Before we begin, Chessy has said quite a lot, so let me show it:
- On the prologue, she notes that the “Prophecy of the Destroyer” is not very much about the Destroyer. Consequently, I will give it this:
A Better Commando Name: 21
- On chapter 1, she notes on the beliefs of the Seneschal “Thought no religious order ever. I'm not going to say no christian sect thinks this way, but the context strongly suggests the Catholic Church and we've never believed that we should destroy the wilderness.”
- She also suggests “plough deeply, harvest richly” as a better formula than “furrow wide, furrow deep”.
- On chapter 2, she notes that “public displays of piety doubled as ways for the noblity to show off how noble they were”.
This Is Not How Things Work: 6
- She also notes that there is only “four to fifteen months” between Rivkah giving birth to Borneheld and getting pregnant with Axis, while the current suggested interval for this is 18 months.
- On the assertion in chapter 4 that the Acharites “hate anything they do not understand” because of the Way of the Axe and the Plough, she says the following: “Just going to note that the Catholic Church freely entertained the possibility of baptizing the dog-faced men of the Antipodes. (And for some reason medieval illustrators often depicted St. Christopher as being a dog-headed man.) I'm not going to pretend all Catholics have lived up to this, but 'made in the image of God' has always referred to having a soul, not being a member of a particular people or species.”
- She notes on chapter 5 that expecting men to cheat on their wives is not very feminist. Indeed, so let me import No-Wave Feminism for this. 1 point for this, 1 for Axis getting annoyed that women are coming along, 5 for Faraday being made to apologise and giving Axis reassurance about his mother because of that, 1 point for the misogynistic shutdown in chapter 12.
And No One Laughed: 8 (for Axis complaining about women going along)
No-Wave Feminism: 8
- On chapter 9, she notes that Axis might be inspired by “‘Manly Man’ romance leads”, which certainly seems likely to me.
- On chapter 10, she points out that “Axis Rivkahson” does not fit in well. In addition, this is only one of two names in this series that has this form, so Douglass ought to have integrated this better.
- She notes that having Axis be a womaniser is not a good look for a supposedly feminist book.
No-Wave Feminism: 9
- On chapter 11, she points out that Axis could have hidden when Faraday knocked on the door.
- She also says that wild boars may have become a “major agricultural pest”, which does make sense.
- On chapter 12, she notes the following life as occurring in grasslands: “Rabbits, hares, assorted ground squirrels, assorted weasels and ferrets, large grazers like horses and cattle, assorted insects, small grazers like goats and sheep, assorted wildflowers, assorted grasses, and, if there's enough water, trees.”
- She also notes that there ought to be growing trees, which raises the question why some forest has not grown back if the Seneschal is not actively destroying it.
This Is Not How Things Work: 7
- I also get the impression that Douglass thought that areas subject to environmental destruction can never recover.
This Is Not How Things Work: 8
- In fact, let me start the count Improve Your Environmental Subplot (IYES), for this. 1 point for the grasslands being “lifeless”, 5 points for the trees not growing back, and 1 point for being unclear about the boars.
IYES: 7
- On chapter 13, she asks how Axis supplies his army, which is indeed not explained very well.
- I have also calculated the area depicted on the map of Achar as 1134600 square miles, or 2938601 km^2, and that on the larger map as ~10.5 million mi^2, or 27.2 million km^2. In addition, I have come up with the name “Stellaris” for this planet.
- On chapter 14, she notes that no monastic order “would tolerate dirty dishes”.
- She also notes the following about “destroying nature”: “As a Catholic, I can safely state that wantonly destroying nature is not good stewardship of God's creation and thus is not promoted by the Catholic Church. Quite the opposite really, all things are part of God's creation so we're supposed to be responsible with them.”
- And it seems I pulled a Douglass, and confused “blasphemy” and “heresy”, because obviously thinking that the Forbidden are not evil would be heresy to Gilbert, not “blasphemy”. Thank you, Chessy!
Well, with that out of the way, let us resume with this chapter! Veremund has just gone to pick up records of the “Forbidden”. As soon as he disappears from view, Axis “[feels] a premonition crawl down his spine”, and he reaches for his axe, but it has disappeared beneath the Woods, of course. He then notes that his “sword [stands] propped out of his reach against the wall of the Keep”. He looks over at Arne and Timozel, who are just as nervous. “How had they let their swords be placed out of their immediate reach?”
Yes, how indeed? The Brothers must be either very good at distracting them, or they have used magic, for there certainly has been no mention of it in the meantime. Or Douglass had this take place in the hour we skipped over, which certainly lessens the effect she was trying to go for.
Ogden notes their tensions, and he says that there is no danger, and Veremund has simply gone to fetch an “Icarii book[]”. And then we cut to Veremund coming down the stairs. Because why would they be suspicious of this? Here comes Ill Logic.
Ill Logic: 1
Well, Veremund has left his lamp behind, and he has “a large leather volume” that he holds with both arms. He almost drops it when he reaches the table, because of how heavy it is. Ogden opens the book, and leaves through the pages. The others can see the pages are “made of vellum”, which are covered in “an unfamiliar handwritten script” (um, what would it be but handwritten?) and “illuminations of incredible beauty.” The inks have “vivid hues”, and “gold and silver paints glitter[] among the rainbow enamels of the script.” Pretty, but impractical, I would say.
Ogden finds the right page, and he explains that the Icarii and the Avar, “often so dissimilar in nature”, had a “shared prophecy” that went back “many thousands of years”. They used to pray that it would not “[come] to fruition” during their lifetime. He goes to read it, and it is indeed the Prophecy of the Destroyer.
He does not come past the second line, however, as he complains about the firelight, and says that Veremund should have brought the lamp with him. Then… get it? And if you and Veremund do not want to, there are four other people. And if we discount Gilbert, because you do not trust him around the records, and Axis, because you want him to read it, there is still Timozel and Arne.
Ill Logic: 2
He asks Veremund, but his eyes are weaker than Ogden’s, so they call over Axis. Axis is startled, but Ogden says that “[t]he words won’t bite [him]”, and his eyes are younger. Ogden used to know the poem by heart, but he has forgotten it in the meantime. He taps on the Prophecy to indicate where Axis should begin.
Can we please stop with this charade already? It is very clear that Ogden and Veremund are not who they pretend to be, and the sooner this is over, the sooner we can get on with the plot.
Axis looks at the page for a moment, but “the writing is so strange and alien” that he cannot make out the words. He tells Ogden that he cannot read it, but Ogden says it is nonsense, and that he just has to look and concentrate. Axis does so, noting that the page feels “slightly warm”. He looks at the writing, whose letters are “strange, curved and exotic”, and whose words seem to blend together. He is distracted by the “vivid colors”. In short, it is “impossible”. He leans in some closer, and then a “wave of dizziness” passes over him, and when he blinks, “the writing [has] somehow come into focus.”
Yes, this is clearly magic. I assume one of the Brothers used a translation spell? Axis says he can read it, though it is “very strange”. He can hear a “strange melody” running through his mind, but he ignores it. Hmmm, I think he is under the influence of a spell. Ogden tells Axis to read it, and he does, his voice taking on “a low-timbred musical quality, almost as if he were singing to himself.” And then we get the first verse of the Prophecy.
While I cannot be bothered to reproduce it, I want to ask why we get the Prophecy in front of the book, without any context. It surely would be better to keep it at the back, with the glossary, would it not?
PPP: 13
I will give points for the ambiguous sentence about which brother hates the StarMan and for the ridiculous exclamation mark after “Destroyer”.
PPP: 15
Also, this:
Revive Tencendor, fast and sure
Forget the ancient war,
I do not think forgetting the Wars of the Axe will be much good.
FYRP: 39
Well, after the first verse, Axis asks what “Tencendor” means. Ogden says he will explain soon, while putting a hand on Axis’s shoulder, and asks him to finish. So Axis goes on with the second verse. And there go two points for “ere” with an apostrophe, and “’til power corrupt their hearts”.
PPP: 17
Axis say there is a break, and then another verse begins. He says he feels very strange, “almost as if he were in the grip of a dream”, and the melody that runs through his mind “[has] become louder, more insistent.” Is this truly necessary? Did Ogden and/or Veremund truly need to cast a spell like this on Axis? As long as I do not know any more, I will give it this:
Look Away: 1
Well, Axis is thankful for Ogden’s hand on his shoulder, and he does not “notice it tighten in shock” when he keeps reading. He then reads the third verse, and I just want to pull this out:
Forgiveness is the thing assured
To save Tencendor’s soul.
Once he is finished, there is silence for a bit. Then Axis looks away from “the beautiful page”. He notes that the melody has “disappeared as strangely as it [has] come.”
Timozel says he does not understand, and he says he was not very good at “book learning”, as he preferred to “spend time with [his] weapon instructor.” Oh, not to worry, Timozel, it simply is hard to understand. Gilbert says quietly that Axis must have been very good at his own book learning. He sat next to Axis while he was reading the Prophecy, but he could not decipher the writing, and he has had more training than Axis. “How had Axis managed to read what he could not?” Good to see that the only character who is suspicious about this is the “evil” one.
Veremund explains that Tencendor was the “ancient name of Achar when all three races lived together in harmony.” The Prophecy refers to a time when Gorgrael will come to conquer “Tencendor, ah, Achar.” Axis then asks if the wraiths are the “Ghostmen” and the ice creatures that attacked Gorkenfort and -town were ice creatures of Gorgrael. Ogden nods. Well, good to know that, but can we please get more information than this, and faster, too?!
Gilbert says it is “completely ridiculous”, “amazed that Axis [can] be taking these lines seriously.” He says it is a “heretical book”, and he cannot listen to those words. Axis turns on Gilbert and says that “[he doesn’t] care if [they] listen to the words of a pox-ridden whore whose brain is riddles with the diseases of her trade”, as long as they make some sense.
No-Wave Feminism: 9 (that was completely unnecessary!)
Also, it does matter whose words you are listening to, Axis! Who is to say that this not a false prophecy, and that the Brothers did not just fabricate it from whole cloth, and used magic to let you read it? Because that is certainly what all this is looking like!
Ill Logic: 3
He turns back to Ogden and Veremund, saying he understands the bit about the trouble in the north, but the rest is a riddle to him. Then one of the Brothers (who it is, is not clear) speaks up.
PPP: 18
He says that he is afraid that prophecies are a little like riddles, and they are easy to interpret when you know what they mean, “almost impossible when you don’t.” He thinks that it is dangerous when you “misinterpret them”. Timozel then speaks, saying that the Prophecy also referred to a “StarMan”. Vermund frowns, and says that he is tied by blood to the Destroyer, so he just might be a brother. Oh, come on! They are so clearly playing coy here.
Then Gilbert comes with this:
Gilbert laughed incredulously, his pimply face scornful as he looked at the two elderly Brothers. “Oh? So you now tell us that we not only face some mythical Destroyer, a legend of the Forbidden, but that we have to put our trust in his brother? If the Destroyer is born of Wing and Horn then he is one of the Forbidden himself. His brother can only be of the Forbidden too. My friends, I think you have been too long closeted with your books. The Seneschal will not allow the Forbidden back into Achar. Never.”
Oh my, how evil Gilbert is! He is actually quite reasonable within his framework of thought. Why should they ally themselves with the brother, who they have never heard of before, of the person who wants to conquer Tencendor? And, since Gilbert thinks the “Forbidden” are evil, why would he want to ally himself with one of them? And yet, we are supposed to see him as especially intolerant for this.
At this, Veremund stands up and clears the table. He puts his hands briefly on Arne and Timozel’s shoulders, thinking that “[t]hey [have] heard enough for one night.” He says that everyone is tired after the long ride, it is late, and they need to “sleep on this”. “All will seem clearer in the light of the morning.”
Timozel and Arne both yawn and stretch. Veremund then “touche[s] Axis lightly on the arm and brushe[s] Gilbert’s back with his fingers as he walk[s] past.” Um… He says he will prepare a “sleeping chamber” for them higher up, and “[a]ll will be well in the morning”. Axis finally feels very tired, and realises that he cannot “think clearly” anymore, and Veremund speaks sense.
Gilbert tries to say that he really thinks they should… but then he yawns, too. He decides that Veremund is right, and Veremund leads them all to bed.
So let me see… Going by how everyone began to feel tired immediately after Veremund touched them, I can say quite clearly that put a spell on them to make them feel sleepy. And there is no good reason for this, other than that he wants himself and Ogden to be able to look in their minds, as we will find out next chapter.
Look Away: 5 (one point for Gilbert, Axis, Arne, and Timozel each)
A scene break, and we pick up a quarter of an hour later, when the four men are sleeping in the designated room. They only paused long enough to “remove their outer clothes” and pull off their boots, before crawling “into their blankets”. Veremund waits until they are sleeping, and then he walks down the stairs. Ogden still sits at the table, his hand “resting lovingly” on the Prophecy. Veremund slowly sits down at the table, Ogden asking if they have “waited [their] time out”.
Veremund says that no Acharite “has been able to read those words for almost a thousand years.” I… am not sure that that is the case, given that StarDrifter had Axis with Rivkah, so who is to say that he did not have children with other Acharites? He says that no one can read them, “lest he or she be of Icarii blood”. Well, good to hear it spelled out. I do wonder how Axis and the people around him will react to this… (Also, just use “they” already, Douglass.) Veremund notes that he did not tell the entire truth to Gilbert earlier, as while the three races do speak a common language, “the Icarii also [speak] a sacred language reserved only for the most holy or important occasions.” And the Prophecy has been composed in that language.
Well, that explains why Gilbert could not read it. And good to see that only the Icarii have such a different language; I do not recall the Avar having this. It is not worth a point now, but this does point toward a quite large problem: Douglass favours the Icarii over the Avar.
Ogden says that Axis must also be “of the Icarii line of Enchanters”, as the final verse was “heavily warded” (why?), and they had not even heard it until now. They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, then Ogden whispers that it is “[their] task to be heedful”, and Veremund says “[w]atchful”.
Neither of them speaks the thought that they has when Axis spoke the last verse. That verse was “meant for the eyes of one person only.” It has been unread since the ink and the spells were “still wet on the page”. And now the Prophecy is “awake and walking the ancient land of Tencendor”, and by the look of Axis, “it [has] been doing so for some thirty years.” Oh my! That is certainly momentous news!
And here the chapter ends.
Well, that could have been much more than it was, except that the flow of information is restricted to a trickle. How are we supposed to grasp the momentousness of these revelations if we do not have the proper information? Oh well, at least next chapter will be more… interesting. Until then!
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Too bad throwing temper tantrums is about as unmanly as it gets.
And unfaithful, too.
I find this pretty hilarious, because forgiveness is very much NOT a theme in this trilogy. Just the opposite. Not one single character designated "Evil" ever gets redeemed, even when they had justified reasons to have turned evil or were coerced in some way or in DragonStar's case was FAR too young to be held responsible for his actions. Nor do Axis or Azhure ever forgive anyone who goes against them in any way. Nope, petty revenge all round.
Because it's so poorly written.
Agreed.
Christ the dialogue in this thing is awful. It's full of clunky as hell overwritten lines like this one and sounds absolutely nothing like an actual person talking.
And it really doesn't matter; past this point Douglass makes no attempt at all to differentiate the two. They might as well be one character.
Not that having them be brothers actually matters in any way shape or form.
It's UNLESS, you moron.
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And uh, the description of the illumination of the Icarii book? That's a rip-off of the medieval manuscripts, which were made by monks.
'Strange, curved, and exotic'? You mean like these?
Because those were also done by monks.
Now, I wouldn't be upset by this if it wasn't paired with a 'Evil Catholic Church', but it is so I'm. Not. Happy. That is a Catholic art form, and if Douglass is going write anti-papist drivel she should've had the decency to not put OUR art into the hands of her 'superior culture'!
Good thinking there, Gilbert. It is weird that Axis can read that.
Axis, may I point out that heretics are not known for their truthfulness? ('Wisdom's form is composed of Greek letters' indeed. Ruddy Gnostics.)
Yeah, I'd have about the same reaction if someone told me that I had to ally with demons and devils.
While I'm at it, the first thing that should have tipped our band o' Brothers off that something was up is the complete lack of busy, bustling scribes churning out copy after copy of all these records. Monasteries were and are hives of activity, because as we all know 'idle hands do the devil's work'. There should also be brothers making parchment, brothers making ink, brothers trading for anything they can't source in-house, brothers binding codexes - record keeping was a lot of work.
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Yeah, now I think about it any monk who left dirty dishes lying around would get in serious trouble for it. 'Cleanliness is next to godliness' is a variation on numerous sayings in the church going right back to the days of the Old Testament. Being clean and keeping your surroundings clean was and is considered to be one of the fundamental aspects of living a good and holy life. Also if you know anything about how monasteries of the kind Douglas is trying to imitate work, you know that they're often used as meeting places for the high and mighty, places to rest for nobility and peasantry alike, hospitals, places to marry... Being dirty is simply a detriment to all of their practical and social duties.
(If you're interested in seeing the functioning of a real monastery in action, I'd actually suggest the Cadfael novels by Ellis Peters. She did an absolutely insane amount of research and apart from the titular Brother Cadfael himself, every monk in the series is based upon a real person and the Shrewsbury Monastery and its goings-on are replicated in incredible detail. The series is actually what got me curious about the real workings of monastries and convents in the first place!)
This is all very true to life! Books written or copied by monks were often incredible works of art, as preserving knowledge was another vital aspect of the services they provided. A talented illuminator could gain quite a name for themself amongst the clergy and scholars of the day, and since the books made then were created to last for as long as humanly possible, they were made beautiful to give glory unto the God who gave rise to the knowledge they were preserving. While enamel was to my knowledge NOT used, the vivid inks they used and the vellum they created genuinely did lead to no small number of works surviving to the modern day.
I'm sure Chessy already beat me to most of this but I just love having the chance to share knowledge with people. I probably would've been a monk (or nun depending on country) if I'd been born back then, because I'm obsessed with learning and have little regard for hedonism.
Veremund and Ogden are definitely some kind of mage, and I want to smack them with their massive tome for using their magic to be jerks. I'm honestly surprised Axis isn't terrified of what they're doing to him, it sounds like a nightmare to me!
And once again the supposed villain is the only person here talking sense. Poor Gilbert, he just wants to do his job and he's surrounded by this bullshit. I sense when the full spork happens I will be spiteficcing him a lot of rescues and heroic moments.
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Building on to this, I also wonder why they would have such rich and decadent foods. Yeah, I get that the pantry is most likely magical or whatever, but traditionally, monasteries and the like stick to rather plain foods. I suppose it could be argued that the pantry was only stocked like this because they were feeding guests, but neither Ogden or Veremund seemed startled by what they found there, making me think that they were used to it.
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I don't know who made this prophecy, but they're sadistic as hell. Generations upon generations of people are hearing this, and all of them are terrified that the apocalypse might happen during their lifetime, not having the slightest clue that the prophecy won't happen for millennia. Thanks, prophet, you ass.
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I can't disagree with the exclamation point being silly, but I don't mind the vagueness about which brother is which. It's pretty common for prophecies to be ambiguous like this. In fact, there's a prophecy in my favorite book series, The Stormlight Archive. It's about three different people, and there's a line in its that says, 'One of them may save us, one of them will destroy us.'
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Wait, who is Arthur?
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Daaaaaamn, Axis, overreaction much? I know we're supposed to agree with you that Gilbert is trash, but chill out, man.
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No shit, Sherlock; thanks for explaining the fundamentals of prophecies.
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I can just imagine them standing together in the corner snickering and nudging each other the whole time.
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Again, who is Gilbert based on, author, and why do you hate them so much?
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To say nothing of how creepy and invasive this is, it was also completely unnecessary. The group has been riding hard since they left the city, not to mention the eight hours through the forest. I would think they would be tired enough that they would quickly fall asleep on their own. Unless the Brothers can only read their minds if they're put into a forced sleep, in which case...holy hell, can you say terrifying?
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